women don suffer!!

 "Girl gets pregnant at 23: People
say"She's too young to have a
baby".
Girl considers abortion:
"Babykiller".
Girl considers adoption: "Can't
believe she's just going to give her
baby away".
Girl keeps baby: "How's she going to
afford that baby??".
Girl gets welfare: "Lazy bitch".
Girl gets job: "How can she stand to
be away from her baby all day like
that?".
Girl becomes SAHM: "She probably
doesn'tdo anything all day."
Girl stops hanging out with friends:
"She totally changed when she had
that baby".
Girl goes out: "She's always
partying".
Girl wants to leave crappy bf:
"Nobody knows what it means to
work things out anymore" .
Girl wants to stay with crappy bf:
"She's dumb."
Girl eats burger: "Fat ass".
Girl eats salad: "Must be one of
those anorexic health nuts".
Girl is overprotective of her
child:"You'reacting like a psycho".
Girl lets her child play without
her:"Where is this kid's mom??".
Girl spanks her kid: "Call CPS!".
Girl refuses to spank: "Her kids are
gonna be such brats".
No matter what you do, people will
talk. So do what is best for YOU,
not other people

Ten reasons why they are not honest with you!

Are You Being Lied to?

We have all experienced it at some point: that gut feeling that you are being lied to, that something isn’t quite right, or that someone is not telling you something you need to know.
Do you feel like there is something you don’t know because your partner has not shared something crucial with you? Even worse, do you suspect your partner is lying to you? There are countless possibilities, but here is a list of common reasons why your partner may not be honest with you. Peruse the list of questions, and take note of any situations that seem possible. Next, review the possibilities you’ve noted. Do you have evidence that any of these have occurred before? This exercise will help you get closer to discovering the truth. You may even discover that you’re the obstacle to your partner’s honesty.

1. Do you think your partner is embarrassed to tell you the truth? Are you approachable and trustworthy, so your partner will feel safe being honest with you?

2. Do you really want to hear the truth? Could you handle the whole truth? Maybe your partner is not being truthful because he or she is protecting you physically, emotionally, or sexually.

3. Is your partner leading a double life? Are they away frequently working overtime or on business trips? Have they distanced themselves both physically and emotionally? Consider that revealing the truth may bring your relationship to an end.

4. Is your partner cheating on you? Have you noticed a change in your intimacy, dialogue, and overall connection?

5. Do you get angry often? This may stop your partner from being honest with you out of fear of causing another upset.

6. Are you approachable? Do you include quality time in your schedule for your partner to share things with you? Maybe they just have not had a chance for a face-to-face serious talk.

7. Have you even asked for the truth yet? People will treat you the way you allow them to. If you let them get away with lies, they will tell more lies. Stand up for yourself and demand the truth.

8. Are you being dishonest too? Remember, you need to give the truth to get the truth.

9. Are you pressuring your partner too much? Maybe if you stop pressuring your partner for the truth, he or she will feel free to approach you on their own.

10. Consider that your partner already is being honest with you, but you just do not believe it. Maybe the issue lies in your own insecurity, and you are projecting dishonesty onto your partner. Are your insecurities harming your relationship?

You should talk to your partner calmly and request that he or she be completely honest with you about anything that is going on. If needed, bring up the specific possibilities you noted here. I know this may seem a little cold and calculated, but often it helps to tackle emotional feelings with a thoughtful and specific plan.

words and meaning!!

Gone are those days I was a kid when....

Pussy meant CAT,

Sex meant GENDER,

Dick was a NAME,

Bang was a SOUND,

SCREW was a
mechanical tool,

CLIMAX simply referred to an end.

DOGGY was just a dog

Scissors, wheelbarrow, missionary were just words

ROD was just an iron...

UUhhhh!
But Now that I'm grown up, I notice they just sound so weird in public every time i mention them, People say am Naughty....

Was my teacher lying or... Did i attend the wrong school????

Somebody help.

Femi Fani-Kayode's opinion about Obama!

what do you guys think???


The American Presidential elections will take place in a few days time and frankly some questions still need to be answered. I wish that Governor Mitt Romney had put one of those questions particularly to President Barack Hussein Obama during their last Presidential debate which was on foreign policy. Permit me to put that question here and it is as follows. Why did the President bow so low before Saudi Arabia’s King Abdullah four years ago during his first state visit to the Arab Gulf state and why did he feel the need to almost touch his toes with his forehead when he did so. It is a matter of historical record that no American President in the last 200 years has ever bowed so low before any foreign leader, Prime Minister, Head of State, President or monarch. It appears to me to be rather strange that Obama, on his first trip to the Middle East as President of the most powerful country on the planet, should literally prostrate before an Arab King whose country has an abominable record on human rights, civil liberties, the rights of women and religious minorities and where the system of government is a totalitarian and absolute monarchy. Luckily a picture was taken of that celebrated event and that picture really does tell us something about the American President’s mindset. Yet it does not stop there.

On that same trip four years ago, after leaving Saudi Arabia, Obama toured the greater part of the Middle East and Egypt and in speech after speech he apologised to the Arabs for American policy in the Middle East over the previous 50 years. He did this despite the fact that in most of those countries christians,shia muslims and ethnic minorities have no rights at all and even though they have been killed, persecuted and supressed for many decades. Again he did this even though none of those countries were democracies and even though all of them, except for two, have refused to acknowledge the right of the Jewish State of Israel to even exist.This left a bad taste in the mouth of many at the time and the question that came to my mind was whether the ”Hussein” was coming out of the ”Barak Hussein Obama” more than the ”Barak” itself was. Yet whatever anyone may feel about the issue of his touching his toes with his head and his bowing before the Saudi king, as far as I am concerned, President Obama is not what he appears to be. There is far more to him than meets the eye. A couple more questions will suffice to illustrate this point.

Why is it that each time Barak Obama is about to submit himself for a Presidential election and seek a mandate from his people there is a raging, monuemental, earth-shattering and record-breaking freak of a storm which kills numerous people in America? It happened a few days before his Presidential election in 2008 and it is has just happened again a few days before his Presidential election in 2012. Again why is it that on the first day of the convention of the opposition Republican party, both in 2008 and again this year, yet another violent and dangerous killer storm hit the towns in which the two conventions were held causing them both to be partially disrupted? What is Obama’s relationship with the elemental forces? What is his relationship with God or some lesser deity? What is his source of power and what is his spiritual foundation? There is no doubt that he is a powerful orator and that he delivers brilliant speeches that mesmerises his audience. Yet so did Adolf Hitler and we all know what he was. I ask these questions because President Obama has supported every anti-christian and anti-faith policy that the American permissive state has thrown up and endorsed in recent years. The violation and literal denunciation of these religious core values, in my view, betrays the unfolding of an illicit,dark, sinister and subterranean anti-Christ agenda which must be rejected by all true men and women of faith. They must be renounced by every christian, every jew and every muslim and indeed all those that truly espouse the noble values and virtues of any of the three Abrahamic faiths. They must be rejected by all those that believe in the supremacy and efficacy of a monotheic God whose core values and holistic principles and standards are worthy of emulation and of being respected and cherished. There are many examples of these gross violations of our core religious values but permit me to share just four of them with you here. Firstly, President Obama has endorsed a woman’s right to have an abortion and he has publically denounced ”the right to life” of unborn babies. Secondly, he has endorsed same-sex marriages. Thirdly, he has consistently supported homosexuality and the rights of homosexuals and lesbians. And fourthly, and perhaps the most disturbing of all, he has endorsed the right of same-sex couples to adopt and raise children. Quite apart from these four Obama has also endorsed all manner of social perversions and deviant behaviour in the name of humanism, ”new age” liberalism and the permissive American state. No true believer or person of faith can possibly accept such practices, endorse such values and still stand right before God.

To put the cake on the icing let me make one more point. Rev. Jene Robinson, a vocal and practising homosexual, whose ordination as a Bishop split the Anglican Church in America into two, was specially selected by Obama to deliver the invocation of the name of God and prayers at the beginning of the inaugral weekend of his inauguration ceremony as President in 2008. What message was Obama trying to send to America and to the world by insisting on this?

Outside of the area of social and religious values President Obama has also failed in the area of foreign and domestic policy. A few examples will suffice. The unprecedented number of drone attacks in Pakistan and Afghanistan which has led to record highs in the number of deaths of innocent muslim civilians, women and children in both countries. The alienation of Pakistan and Afghanistan as key allies in the war against terror. The destabilization of north Africa and the opening of the door for Islamist insurgents in the north African Arab Sahel states and the west African sub-region. The display of weakness and procrastination before Iran and its covert agenda to build a nuclear bomb. The display of double standards in the State of Bahrain and the over-pampering of the Arab Gulf states. The sheer mess that has been created in Syria and the indecision and procrastination of the Obama administration who have abandoned the opposition forces in that country even as thousands of innocent people are being slaughtered by Assad’s brutal regime.The insincerity of purpose and sheer coldness being displayed towards Israel and the indifference to her dangerous and existential plight. The disdain and contempt shown to all people of faith, the evangelical movement, the christian far-right and the vision of the old Pilgrim Fathers that founded the great country that is known as the United States of America.

The removal of the words “God” and “Israel” from the Democratic Party Convention. The disastrous handling of the American economy that has acquired a five trillion dollar deficit in the last four years. The rise of Islamic fundamentalism in Mali and Nigeria due to a shortsighted and reckless policy in Libya. The taking of power by the fundamentalist Muslim Brotherhood in Egypt and the rise in power of Al Shabbab in Somalia and East Africa. The inexplicable refusal to declare Boko Haram (the Islamist terror group that is bombing and killing thousands in northern Nigeria) as a terrorist organisation.The gradual turning of America into a quasi- welfarist state where ”big government” reigns and in which the traditional engine room of growth that is known as the American middle class is being systematically weakened and destroyed. The desecration of the traditional family unit and good old fashioned christian values by the adoption of strange and liberal “new age” practices, values and philosophies. The inability to protect the lives of American diplomats living abroad and the lack of firm reprisals after the killing of the American Ambassador and other Americans by terrorists in Libya. The massive foreign debt that America has acquired in the last four years. The huge quantum of cash that America is is now owing China and so on and so forth.

These are just some of Obama’s disastarous legacies and sadly the mistakes he has made in his foreign policy in north Africa particularly impacts on us directly in Nigeria and in Weet Africa. Let me give you just one example of that. Had it not been for the fall-out of the mess in Libya and the brutal way in which Muammar Ghadaffi, the Libyan leader, was murdered in cold blood one year ago, his Taureg friends and allies in north Africa would not have been inspired and driven to take over northern Mali and create a Taliban-style islamic fundamentalist state there and northern Nigeria would not have been flooded with jihadist footsoldiers and all manner of sophisticated arms and bombing devices for usage by Boko Haram.

With Obama all we see and hear are beautiful and inspirational speeches, a good deal of doublespeak, a failed economic policy and a weak, dangerous and thoroughly uninspiring foreign policy. Worst still all we see in Obama’s African policy is unpredictability, chaos, the appeasement of terrorists and utter confusion. Given this I cannot come to any other conclusion than the fact that President Barrack Hussein Obama cannot be trusted with America or indeed the world for the next four years. In my view he is a very mysterious, strange and complex man and sadly he has proved to be a thoroughly disappointing President. Consequently my prayer is that Governor Mitt Romney defeats him in the Presidential election which will hold Tuesday 6th November. If he does not I fear that the much predicted “beginning of the end” of America as a world economic power may have just begun. With China on the rise, Russia waxing strong, Brazil, India and Japan flexing their muscles and the European Union finally beginning to take shape and find her feet, in the next twenty years the world will be a very different place and America may no longer be “prima inter pares” (the first amongst equals). Only Romney can stop that downward trend. I am aware of the fact that, given Obama’s ancestry, this may not be a popular position to take amongst those of us that are people of colour and that are Africans but nevertheless it is still my position. I may be wrong but at least I have provided some food for thought. God bless America.

what is cheating!!

CHEATING doesn't mean you have to kiss, meet or have sex with the person. once you find yourself deleting texts so your partner wont see it, your already there.

What is your take on this? What is cheating?? 

Dana Plane crash 3-6-2012

Life is too short!!!
The rich pple on that plane didn't know it would be their last.
The sexy babes didn't know it was their last as they posed for pictures and paste it on their dp and Fb wall.
The ones who were fortunate to b boarding a plane for d first time in their lives didn't know it wuld b their first and d last time.
Where is that guy thinking of how to make ends meet?
Where is that babe who wants to get married soon?
Where are the singles who are worried about tying the knots?
Where are the men whose thought is on how to return to work today and sign dat contracts that would fetch them millions?
Where are those ones who owns houses in Abuja?
Where are those who took a girlfriend to Abuja to enjoy the weekend leaving their wives at home with d kids?
Where are those who were in Abuja for flings with their sugar daddies or sugar mommies?
And what about the innocent kids?
What about those in their homes on a Sunday afternoon after returning from church?
Spending time with their families, already ironed their clothes for today work or school?
What about that girl or boy who went to their neighbors house to watch films?
What about those people in the church that were bombed?
What I'm saying here is dis, It could have been you or me.
Life is vanity.
Live your today like there's no tomorrow.
Love, forgive and appreciate one another.

keeping in close contact with your ex! good or bad

my take is, if you are in a relationship, no big deal especially if your former relationship ended amicably, but if yu are married, then you have no business with an ex. whether you are both with the purest of hearts, it just called for. an ex is called an 'ex' for reason!

My take, yours???

Bayero University under attack in Kano.Christian Students gathered at the BUK theater and sports complex for worship bombed this morning

me thinks these christains should take it easy especially as they are in an
islamic state. Cos this looks like a case of trouble sleep inyanga go wake am.

That's my take....what's yours???

should married people avoid their single friends?

I really know why people say this but me feel its only 'runs' girls that would

 want to stay away from their single friends after marriage. This is because 

They know what they were doing to other married men with these friends so

they  wont want to suffer same in the friends hands.

This is my take, yours??

The Best Match for a Libra Female

A Libra lover is said to be the most compassionate, good-natured lover among all the zodiacs. They are very understanding and even try to put their feet in other people's shoes most of the time. Some see this as a very good trait and they should. But you also have to keep in mind that Librans are one of the air signs and air can mean being the flash and go type. They have the tendency not to focus on just one thing solely. Now, people may take a female Libra's affectionate nature to be flirtatious. One minute they are comforting someone, next thing you know she's with another person. The Libran, of course, doesn't think this. In her mind she is trying to help people feel good. They are just being gentle and comforting. A Libra is very understanding but being with one means you have to understand too. You have to know when she's being serious or being playful; or when she's being helpful or just being polite. Aquarius and Gemini are said to be the best zodiac match for a Libra but let's dissect all of the positive matches and see how they could work out.

Libra Woman and Taurus Man. Both sharing the love of art, poetry and culture, the Libra woman and Taurus man have a nice thing to begin with. Both signs are ruled by the planet Venus so they have a mutual desire for a romantic relationship. They are also likely to be in good handling money to support their luxurious desires. On the downside, Taurus is an Earth sign so they and the goals they have are generally practical whereas Libra is an air sign and depend on their intellectual expressions whether it be practical or not. The biggest thing that is a problem for these two is that a Taurus can be easily irritated by a Libra's impracticality and that the Taurus can be very stubborn. But they also hold the characteristics that will help them understand each other. A Taurus is a very strong and understanding character and can be supportive to his partner's ideas. A Libra on the other hand is always very diplomatic and polite and will listen and to reason.

Libra Woman and Gemini Man. For starters, the Libra woman and Gemini man has a lot of things in common. They both have a thirst for independence so they understand that their partners need their freedom. Romantically, a Libran can be in love with love and so is the Gemini. Expect the Libra to always woo her loved one and the Gemini partner to love this attention. The worst thing that could happen in this relationship is that the Libran's undomesticated nature will bring out the nagging and even childish side of the Gemini; even if the Gemini is a social butterfly himself. But the biggest thing that makes this relationship work is the fact that Gemini is ruled by the planet Mercury. It's a simple formula really; Venus represents love whereas Mercury is associated with communication so love + communication = a good lasting relationship.

Libra Woman and Leo Man. While the Libra woman is harmonious and peace-loving, a Leo man is the type who argues for the sake of argument. They love challenge and taking control. At worst there might be some verbal abuse in here but what makes a Libra-Leo relationship work? These two are both very warm people. They will be both understanding and have the energy to satisfy each other's physical needs. A Libran also possesses the ability to calm a Leo down as he is usually on fire. Also, the Leo is a natural born leader so he can make the indecisive Libra make decisions and act on it. These two have a lot of differences but these differences if used in the right way can surprisingly lead to a very harmonious relationship.

Libra Woman and Libra Man. The Libra woman and Libra man has everything in common. They both have the passion for arts, beauty, poetry and romance. They are both very social people; polite, diplomatic and understanding. This is a near perfect relationship but since they have the same good qualities they also have the same bad characteristics. Among other things, both will be very vain and would love the attention to themselves. The best thing to do here is to be diplomatic and understand that their needs are also their partner's needs.

Libra Woman and Sagittarius Man. Well these two are both social butterflies. They love to flirt although at times the Libra woman doesn't know that she is flirting. She just knows she's trying to be compassionate and giving. The Libra woman is an air sign and we all know that air makes the fire bigger. Now, even though the Sagittarius is not often associated with the word jealousy, a Libra's social and friendly nature can actually make the Sagittarius jealous. This may be because a Libra is a highly likeable person. Everyone loves hanging out with a Libra. Moneywise, this may be a sore spot in this relationship. A Sagittarius is the generous type and Librans are very indulgent and materialistic so do the math. On the plus side, both signs value their independence and understand each other's need for freedom. Also, the Libran's whirlwind ideas will captivate the always adventurous Sagittarius.

Libra Woman and Aquarius Man. Aside from Gemini, the Aquarius man is another near perfect match for a Libra woman. An Aquarius guy tends to have a very adventurous approach to romance (among other things) and this fascinates a romantic, female Libran. Both are very sociable and friendly. People tend to like Aquarians and Librans. Aquarians also try their best to be positive and the Libran will show them a different way of being positive. Remember, a Libra sees something good in everything. The Aquarius on the other hand will help the indecisive and passive Libran to stand on her own feet.

Libra Best and Worst Relationship Matches

Libra
Above all the rest your Libra lover is the most passionate, the most comforting and the most amiable of the sun signs. It is just in their nature. It is likely that you were the wall flower and they approached you at the party. They struck up a conversation because they sensed in you a discontentedness, or alienation. It was their gentle and comforting way that appealed so quickly to your heart and then they attacked your head. This is the general pattern of the Libran lovers, to reach out for the emotional aspects in people, and yet because of their almost insatiable thirst for knowledge, you won’t get out of a relationship with Libra before demonstrating an interest in more scholarly parts of the world.
But don’t get too deep with a Libra, since they are one of the air signs, their attention can wane and be spotty at best. They love to delve into hobbies like a flash in the pan, hot and quick. This incessant need for variety can be a real strength or an incredible weakness. Be aware of this tendency and make sure that you can see the warning signs in your Libra. When their eyes start to wander change the subject, there is no point trying to force the issue with a Libra, since even if they wanted to keep going their mind may be forcing them in different directions than they want to go in. Try and flow with their mind and their desires, it is often interesting and always exciting.
The Libran is always very intuitive. They know when you are lying and they know when you are trying to conceal some emotion or anger. It is always recommended to be honest with a lover that sits inside of the Libran sun sign, since they have a built in lie detector and are always on the look out for deception. This intuition means strong paternal/maternal instincts and a great deal of empathy. They are constantly making sure that you are ok, and that everyone around them is having fun. Don’t expect to be able to hold on to your Libra at a party and though they will be regularly looking for you and peppering you with affection, their more emotional empathic side drives them around.
*** Note: If you are on the hunt for a Libra man or woman, don’t force things with them. Though being swept of one’s feet is always attractive, the Libra may have so much on the go that it is important to integrate yourself into their world initially. Don’t let this stop your from romance and spontaneity, just recognize when and how.
Balance is very important to Libras. They even have trouble making more mundane decisions as a result of this borderline obsession with fairness. They love to gather all the relevant information about a general situation and then carefully sift through it to come up with a point of view that takes into consideration all the valuable components of each side. This is a great quality, but can sometimes lead to insanity in Libra’s partners as even dinner plans can be fraught with crisis level decision making stress.
***Note: Just make those little decisions for them. If you can’t decide between Chinese and Thai, just figure out which one you would rather, and then make it happen. Don’t mistake this indecision for a desire to have all of their life decided by others. On the contrary, it is a good lover’s job to help Libra overcome the ineffectualness that can sometimes arise as a result of this personality trait. Don’t let them lose out on opportunities because they are so concerned with making the right decision that they make no decision.
You may notice that for some Libras, this striving for balance results in a real aversion to conflict. Don’t worry about their feelings though, they are more worried about hurting yours. They would much prefer to work out arguments with dialogue, and will usually only be satisfied when both sides are shown and each part of the disagreement in resolved.
The most obvious warning regarding pursuing a relationship with a Libra can be found in precisely the same place that their greatest strengths lay. Many times Libra can be found mired in a very real and difficult “love triangle.” This means that their hearts are truly divided, and thought they can’t make up their mind as of yet, the air aspects of their sign means that when they do, it may be made coldly and with a detached calculation. This can lead to broken hearts and deeply hurt feelings and despite the intuitive knowledge that a Libra has of other people, their self preservation is made manifest through this emotionally removed decision making process.
Don’t run away, just keep yourself protected until your Libran lover makes a decision, and trust me the wait is worth the reward.
Best Relationship Matches

Aries Is your ideal mate despite being your zodiacal opposite. It’s a great evening out of the Venus and Mars’ different qualities: aggression and tenderness, leadership and acquiescence, practicality and creativity.
Gemini They are able to appreciate your understanding of their complex character, and you’re artistically harmonious.
Aquarius You both love people and beauty, although they’re a touch more unpredictable.

Worst Relationship Matches

Virgo Too fussy for you.
Scorpio Too dark for your warm, sunny outlook.

4 Ways To Be Heard Without Raising Your Voice

1. Time Out / Cool Off
If at all possible, walk away, take a deep breath and wait a little while before you engage in any further conversation. When we are angry, we are usually not at our best game, because emotions tend to distort our view of what is actually going on, versus what we have imagined in our head. Any extreme emotion will throw us off balance, while cooling down and stepping away from the issue at hand usually allows us to be more objective and detached from the message. Neutral is the way to be!
2. Analyze and Evaluate
If things are starting to get heated within a conversation, ask yourself why you’re getting all wound up. What triggers the person hitting? And what role are you playing in all of it? Once a conversation or argument turns into a fight over being right, or forcing another into seeing things your way, the battle is probably lost. Because now you have two egos going at it and ego has a way of catapulting us back into childhood; and acting like a child isn’t the most convincing or successful way of getting things done.
3. Listen
Sometimes it helps to listen to the other party, no matter how much you may disagree with them. Why? Because it allows you to at least attempt to understand where they are coming from and the best debaters are those who can put themselves into another person’s shoes. Also, people who listen tend to exuberate confidence and most people tend to respond to confidence, above all. Confident people are always taken more serious; screaming, ranting children, not so much.
4. Be Self-Aware
As often as possible, try to take a look at yourself through the eyes of another. If you’re getting into arguments a lot, if you have to assert yourself by raising your voice and if people have told you about it, chances are you are the one with the problem. Maybe take some anger management courses; go to yoga, learn how to meditate or how to center yourself somehow.
It comes down to the fact that no one will be taken seriously when they turn into a screaming fool. Raising your voice doesn’t resolve anything and it only turns people defensive, while it reflects badly on you and your obvious temper. Being an adult requires a certain amount of self-control if we ask to be taken seriously. If we cannot control our own emotions, we turn into bullies; namely a bully without a shred of credibility.
Screaming is just as effective as calling people names or cussing them out. Children behave that way, so if you want to become effective in your communication, learn how to talk in a calm and collected way, or walk away and come back when you are.

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10 signs he is cheating----By Taryn Galewind

Do you have a feeling in your soul that something isn’t quite right with your significant other? Pay attention to your instincts – your inner voices are usually right.
No woman wants to believe that her man is cheating, but it can and does happen. We all know that. Here are ten surprising tells that may indicate all is not what it seems:
1. It’s lovely to have his undivided attention. Who wouldn’t want a dozen roses for no reason at all? Some guys are great at attending to your needs, but if your partner has typically been a bit casual and suddenly showers you with goodies, think twice. Could be guilt driving that romance.
2. Variety is the spice of everything, but if his routine changes, his habits alter, he takes a new interest in his appearance, or just seems bright and new, it could be a problem. The excitement of illicit love makes men sit up and sparkle.
3. His cell phone disappears and his computer is now password protected. All his known passwords are changed for “security” reasons. Not good.
4. In a slow economy, everyone can use a bit of additional cash, but is your mate putting in a lot of overtime? If it isn’t typical, better keep an eye on it.
5. Be aware of unexplained telephone charges, lots of calls to a new number, or frequent hang up calls.
6. There might be lipstick on his collar, but finding an odd glove, someone else’s clothing item or an earring is more likely. You might find a cigarette end, and he doesn’t smoke. If odd things turn up, he may be doing something he shouldn’t.
7. He’s so overly sensitive that you can’t say “good morning” without creating an argument. He’s the poster child for surly. “Moody” doesn’t begin to do him justice, and you can’t say or do anything right. Unless he’s fighting depression, you might want to keep a close eye on your relationship.
8. He’s simply never available. Tired. Busy. Preoccupied. Has to go see his mother more often than he sees you?
9. Now he can’t stand your friends. His friends observe he’s lost interest in nights out. He skips the hottest game on TV because he’d rather go for a run? Wait a minute, dear, you’d better find out where he’s running to.
10. What? Your hot-as-flame sex life has simmered to a boring routine? Uh oh.
Should you hire an investigator, search the car, rifle through his wallet? I’m not saying any man whose interests change or who begins to focus on being healthy and fit is cheating. It’s likely he’s still the light of your life and only has eyes for you. However, if you keep running into odd coincidences and your radar tells you something is rotten, trust your gut and check it out.

5 reasons he may take you back-By Alina Mikos

Just because men are generally less verbal about their feelings than women doesn’t mean they don’t feel just as deeply. If you’ve hurt him by cheating, you’ve got to be prepared that he may never take you back. As your actions have broken his trust, it will be up to him – and his capacity to forgive – as to whether or not you two ever get back together. Some people just cannot reopen their hearts after a deceit. With men, when a woman cheats, it not only betrays his trust, but challenges his confidence and manhood. At best, you will probably need to “eat crow” before he’ll let you into his heart again. Let’s look at a few reasons he may decide to give your relationship another shot.
1. His Great Love for You
If the two of you had something really special that you’ve both put a lot of time and love into, he may consider forgiving you and moving on. Each person in every relationship makes mistakes – it’s deciding whether your love and relationship is stronger and more important than the mistakes that keep two people together. He may conclude that he loves you in spite of this and agree to move forward. Once. If you’re a repeat offender and he keeps taking you back, the two of you are in an unhealthy and destructive relationship and need to admit to the fact that you are not good for one another.
2. Your Genuine Remorse
Was it a mistake? Do you feel awful and repentant about it? Communicating this to him will go a long way towards healing the rift you’ve caused. If you are disingenuous, he will most likely sense this and turn his back on you for good. But by being sorry and regretful, you open up the possibility of him forgiving you after he has taken time to lick his wounds and think things over. If he senses that you are purposefully careless with his trust and his heart, don’t expect any second chances in this millennia.
3. The Circumstance
The weight of the blow of infidelity may be slightly diminished depending upon the circumstances. A man may forgive a severe slip-up of this nature if he’s certain she was, say, “completely drunk and toasted.” The “it just happened” scenario plays out better than the premeditated affair that went on for months. Your reason and explanation for the affair can affect the outcome of his decision as well. If you were looking for companionship, for example, and he had been away frequently, he may be open-minded enough to try couples counseling to resolve your relationship issues. The same may go for cheating related to your sex lives. If the two of you haven’t been intimate in awhile, he may agree to sex therapy in an attempt to fix things.
4. He Can Forgive and Move On
The capacity for forgiveness varies from person to person, and is often contingent upon the offense. Breaking someone’s trust is one of the bigger blunders a person can make in any relationship, and the reality is that they may not get over it. If you are so lucky as to have found a guy who can forgive and forget, then you may count your many blessings. If he knows himself and has come to terms with the event and his feelings, then he may be able to move beyond your indiscretion. But he has to make that decision, and you cannot make it for him, no matter how much you may beg or apologize. He’ll know whether this is something he can make peace with or not.
5. He Can See That You’ve Changed
If you can prove to him that you are not the person you were that made the decision to betray his trust in that way, he may decide to open up to you again. He has to believe this, so you will have to prove it to him in your own way. He needs to feel secure in the fact that this will never happen again, and convincing him that you are a better, more mature person, will go a long way towards him trusting you again with his heart

stop deceiving urself

Dump That Loser!
Why are we holding on to people who obviously don’t do us any good? Why do we feel that knowing someone for a long period of time, or being in a relationship with someone, binds us to hold on to them for dear life, even when they are detrimental to our own well-being and self-worth? Somehow most of us seem to believe that we can’t do any better, or worse, don’t deserve any better.
Breaking the cycle of self-defeat and misery is hard to do but not impossible. So here are a few points that should help you make a decision to finally let the tool canoe sail away and start a new life, tool-free and happy.
1. Dishonesty
It seems obvious that we shouldn’t spend time and space with people who lie to us. But dishonesty comes in many different forms and there are not all blatant lies. Another form of dishonesty is withholding; which, by the way, equals going behind your back. Some people argue they did it to “protect you.” Well, dishonesty never protects anyone and a partner or friend who cannot be straight with you is not worth holding on. Obviously, there are different levels of severity here. But a person who consistently chooses to lie or withhold from you is plain and simple engaging in tool-sheddery, not protecting you!
2. Abusive
Most people don’t seem to understand that abuse does not necessarily only consist of physical violence. Abuse comes in many shapes or forms. Let me make it clear to you: any deliberate attack on your being is abuse! This includes people who love to embarrass you in front of others with demeaning remarks, which they then disguise as “humor,” attacking you for being too sensitive. Abuse is always about power, so if you ever wonder if something is abuse or not, consider the following: Is the goal of a person’s actions or words to put you down/dismiss you/hurt you or dominate you, in order for them to feel better about themselves, look good in front of others, or feel in control? If the answer is “yes,” it’s time to run.
3. Disloyal
Anyone who claims to be your true friend or partner will have your back in life! This is what distinguishes them from merely being an acquaintance. Loyalty does not mean that one has to agree with you all the time (this is where number one comes in again!), but it does mean standing by you in good and bad times. This includes certain rules such as not sleeping with your ex and not playing both sides, i.e. hanging out and engaging with those who have hurt you deeply. A person who loves you will stand up for you. They’ll help you fight your battles when you need help fighting them, and they won’t allow anyone to badmouth you or harm you, present or not! Disloyal people should always be eliminated from one’s life, because they cannot be true partners or friends. Why? Because they are not trustworthy, and their own self-interest will always win out over doing the right thing, or the minor detail of being your friend!
4. No Integrity
Integrity incorporates much more than being honest and loyal, because it’s about consistent actions, morals, values, principles and expectations. Integrity is the very opposite of hypocrisy, and a true virtue. Integrity is the most important trait within a human being, and anyone who does not have this trait should be avoided.
5. Self-Centered
Not all selfish people act in ways that make them appear selfish at first glance. Hence, I’m not going to mention the obvious signs, but the hidden ones. Being self-centered includes anything and everything done for one’s own gain, advantage or pleasure, without any consideration for another. It’s as simple as that. An example would be someone who consistently puts your wishes aside to do something they want to do, regardless of how it makes you feel. I’m going to add an extreme example. My ex stood me up the day after I got released from the ER, claiming he had fallen asleep after work, when in fact he was at home all night playing World of Warcraft.
Obviously, there’s a common denominator here. Most people who refuse to let go of those who no longer serve them, or who harm them, seem to believe that they can’t do any better, or deserve no better. Anyone with true self-respect and self-esteem would not engage, and keep spending time and space with those who don’t deserve it. So if you’re one of those who finds himself/herself surrounded by insensitive pricks, selfish, rude and spineless jerks, or cheating and lying partners, it’s time to re-evaluate your life and re-discover your own self-worth.
You do deserve better, and you are no less or more important than those who keep disrespecting, ignoring and abusing you. Time does not equal ownership or entitlement. You don’t owe love, friendship, kindness or favors to anyone, just because you’ve known them for a while. Any partnership and friendship takes two to tango. You cannot succeed in creating lasting and intimate bonds with those who are neither capable, nor interested in the same. Everyone makes mistakes and everyone messes up, but the aforementioned points need to be taken seriously, if they are showing up consistently! There’s a difference between a one-time slip and a behavioral pattern. So if you want to live a tool-free life, go ahead and dump that loser. Trust me, there is better and healthier out there for you

Welcome to Linda Ikeji's Blog: Ever wondered what Tuface and DBanj will look like...

Welcome to Linda Ikeji's Blog: Ever wondered what Tuface and DBanj will look like...: "Ha ha ha! D'Banj is still one hell of a sexy old man... Photo source"

FIVE THINGS MEN OVERLOOK

Relationships are full of compromises—some of which you hash out together as a couple, and some that you make separately as personal compromises regarding your individual needs in the relationship. Let’s consider, for a moment, some personal compromises that men make regarding women that you’ll never hear them talking about, but which they do just the same.

1. Big Ego for Beauty

This may be the most stereotypical compromise a man makes for a woman. Men are incredibly visual creatures, and as such are likely to be susceptible to a beautiful woman, no matter what her flaws. Many beautiful people know that they are beautiful—a good many of those, unfortunately, have developed large egos in accordance with their appearance. You might think that a woman who believes she is superior because of her looks, or primps constantly, would put most men off. However, there are plenty of men that are so enamored with her appearance and how she looks on his arm that they overlook the negative behaviors and disagreeable disposition that accompanies an over-inflated feminine ego.

2. Domineering Personality for a Strong Woman

As a woman’s role in American society has changed over the past century, men have learned to respect, and even prefer in most cases, a strong independent woman who knows how to take care of herself and speaks her mind. Gone are most of the men who like a gentle, soft woman who need a big strong man to protect and take care of her. Today’s couple relationships are often described as equal partnerships, with the man and woman divvying up household chores, bills and responsibilities. Certain women have taken this strong/independent woman thing further, and need to be fully in charge at every possible moment. Telling her mate what he needs to do and when to do it gets old for any man, but he may be willing to tolerate some of this behavior if the tradeoff is having a strong woman beside him to share equally in all the responsibilities and struggles that traditionally fell upon male shoulders.

3. Bad Tempers for Great Sex

Temper tantrums and hot-headedness usually go hand-in-hand with a female afflicted with a short fuse, but it seems that many men are willing to overlook this if these women also channel that emotional heat into the bedroom. She may have a spiteful tongue that he’ll dislike during those unavoidable couple-arguments, but a “hot woman” in the bedroom is worth these tongue-lashings to many men.

4. Body Insecurities for Passion

It is a known fact that women are rarely perfectly happy with their bodies, and can be self-conscious and nit-picky. Body shyness and insecurities can easily transfer into the bedroom, where all the clothes come off for your mate to see and evaluate. Men are, in general, less picky about the little details of a woman’s less-than-perfect body (and less critical), and more interested in how responsive she is in bed. Enjoying the moment and all that your partner has to offer makes the best kind of lover; and if you can shuck those pesky insecurities for quality bedroom time, he’ll be less likely to mind your self-consciousness (and may even find it quirky) at other times.

5. Intrusiveness for Emotional Support

In general, it is believed that women are more in touch with their feelings, and therefore feel freer to speak of them, as well as delve into their mate’s feelings. As men tend to find it more difficult to admit to emotional weaknesses and needs, it often falls to the women to ask questions, pry, cajole- whatever it takes to get him talking. Intrusiveness, at first glance, does not seem a positive trait, but your man may be a tough emotional nut to crack, and through sensitive and targeted questioning, you can persuade him to open up when he really needs the release. While he may find this tactic initially annoying, he will appreciate your emotional support in getting him to express himself, and any words of comfort and wisdom you can offer will be received in the spirit that they are given.

7 Ways to Train Your Mate

What are the best ways to positively influence your mate, without recourse to manipulation? Try these top seven methods for positive reinforcement:

1. R-E-S-P-E-C-T

People respect those who respect them, so by maintaining a mutual respect in your relationship, you will ensure your requests will always be handled with understanding, caring, and sincerity.

2. Listen

Too often when we are trying to get our mate to change, we focus primarily on what we need from them, rather than what they need from us. By listening to your partner and understanding where they are coming from, you will better understand what will motivate them to want to change for you. With practice, you will also be able to pickup on non-verbal cues, in effect, listening for what is not being said. To often requests go ignored, simply because one partner forgot to listen before asking!

3. Do Me, and I’ll Do You

The power of reciprocation is regularly used in the business world, but it can also be used in romantic relationships. It is much easier to get a mate to work on improving when they know they will be getting something in return. This takes the heat off of just them, and makes the solution become a team effort. The power of reciprocation can also be seen when explaining to your mate the advantage of making the change. For instance, to a partner balking at the idea of making dinner in the evening, explain to them that if they share in the chore, they’ll be able to make the types of food they most enjoy eating, etc.

4. Timing

Timing is so important when we have to talk about a behavioral problem we are having with our mate. Often, we are driven to talk about these things as they happen, but that is not always the best time to start a serious heart to heart. Wait until both you and your partner are in a neutral, stress free mood, place yourself in a position of minimal threat (side to side, rather than face to face), and openly express your feelings how you’d like to see things change. Use the word “I” as an opener to your conversation (“I feel like…”) rather than “you” (“You always…”).

5. Stay on Subject

Too often when attempting to explain a problem to a mate, we end up going off on a tangent about other things until we come around to the part we actually wanted to talk about. We may think that we are buttering them up for the punchline, but we often just lose their attention and patience. If you really want to talk to your mate about an important request, stay on subject, be direct (short), and use clear, concise sentences.

6. Hush Approach

On occasion, we will listen to advice coming from various sources more than our own mate. It does not mean that we don’t respect their ideas, but some ideas have more credibility when they seem to be coming from several outside sources. For instance, if you are looking to get your mate to quit smoking, rather than hounding them about how bad it is for them, casually offer them tidbits of information in the form of articles or newsletters. This takes the bite from your own words, and puts it into the mouth of another.

7. Hate to Manipulate

I’ve mentioned this already, but it bares enough importance to repeat. Manipulation tactics, such as bribing, dictating, and offering a combination of reward and punishment may work with (some) animals, but the human intellect is much more capable of resentment once it realizes it’s being taken advantage of. A partner does not want to be forced into doing what you think is right, but rather figure out what is right for themselves. You can guide your mate to the land of Oompa Loompa, but you can’t make them do the funny dance unless they want to!

TOP TEN DATING MYTHS

Dating and the human brain offer such a complex array of idiosyncrasies that it’s sometimes difficult to distinguish truth from myth. Thankfully, we always have research to turn to when trying to solve the complex puzzle of the human brain. Let’s look at the top ten dating myths that have been (at least somewhat) debunked by science.

Myth 1: Bedroom Talk

There’s a lot of talk about lying in relationships, and many relationship experts claim that one of the best places to quietly discuss matters with a new lover is in the privacy of one’s bedroom. What research has found, however, is that the bedroom is actually where the greatest number of lies are told. If you want to find out what somebody is really thinking, studies show that talking around the breakfast table is the closest you’ll ever come to a truth serum.

Myth 2: Girls Are Crazy About Sensitive Men

There is a movement suggesting that what really drives women crazy is sensitive men. While women may believe that sensitive men are great, studies show that what initially catches their eye is rugged, masculine looks (square jaw, large nose, etc.) and a carefree attitude. The only time a sensitive guy (small chin, raised eyebrows, caring) might have the upper hand is when a woman is looking for a marriage partner – but too much sensitivity (being a pushover, indecisiveness) can count against him.

Myth 3: No Such Thing as Being Too Picky

If you don’t mind the possibility of keeping your own company for the duration of your life, then this may indeed be true. Otherwise, you are living in the popular myth that there is a perfect person out there for each of us. There is a very fine line between being picky and compromising the reality of your relationships. Popular research suggests that we can be perfectly happy with only 80 percent of our needs met.

Myth 4: Doesn’t Matter What They Say, I’m the Only One Who Knows

When we are newly in love or infatuation, our brains are usually so clouded with morphine-like chemicals that it’s hard to see any bad in the world, much less the bad in our new love. Usually, the people who can see the situation clearly are our friends and family, so while you may think you know better than they do, it is certainly at least worth listening to their concerns.

Myth 5: Living Together Irons Out the Wrinkles

It’s common belief that living together prior to marriage helps couples iron out the small wrinkles of joint living, but what research has found is that it actually increases your chances of divorce. Couples who choose to live together are, one, slightly hesitant about the union, and two, comfortable in the fact that if it doesn’t work out they can move on. This is the wrong mindset for a long and happy marriage.

Myth 6: Third Time’s the Charm

A lot of multiple-divorce couples like to chant “Third time’s the charm” when getting married for their third, and hopefully last, time. They feel comforted by this phrase, as does their partner in cahoots. The truth of the matter is, however, that a second marriage has a 60 to 67 percent chance of failure, while a third marriage has a dismal 73 to 75 percent chance. Don’t kid yourself.

Myth 7: Pickup Lines Never Work

Research shows that humorous and complimentary pickup lines work on some men and women if delivered with honesty, creativity and sincerity.

Myth 8: Impossible to Love Two People At Once

If an individual falls for two people who possess two very opposing, yet complimentary personalities, together they may add up to the ultimate partner. This is why it’s easier than some people think to fall in love with two people.

Myth 9: All Men are Cheaters

There is research out there stating that men are the bigger cheaters, and that it is also easy to find research pointing to men and women as cheating fairly equally, as well as evidence concluding that women are the bigger cheaters. If there is anything we can conclude from this, it’s that it is the person who cheats, and not the gender, so we should look at the individual and the signs they give (male or female) in order to decipher their potential as a mate.

Myth 10: Cold Shower

Some people believe that after a particularly heated date that ends without a bang, it’s a good idea to relieve any pent up, lingering sexual energy by taking a cold shower. What research has found, however, is cold showers actually stimulate the production of hormones and sexual desire, thereby producing the opposite effect of what one would hope.