7 Ways to Train Your Mate

What are the best ways to positively influence your mate, without recourse to manipulation? Try these top seven methods for positive reinforcement:

1. R-E-S-P-E-C-T

People respect those who respect them, so by maintaining a mutual respect in your relationship, you will ensure your requests will always be handled with understanding, caring, and sincerity.

2. Listen

Too often when we are trying to get our mate to change, we focus primarily on what we need from them, rather than what they need from us. By listening to your partner and understanding where they are coming from, you will better understand what will motivate them to want to change for you. With practice, you will also be able to pickup on non-verbal cues, in effect, listening for what is not being said. To often requests go ignored, simply because one partner forgot to listen before asking!

3. Do Me, and I’ll Do You

The power of reciprocation is regularly used in the business world, but it can also be used in romantic relationships. It is much easier to get a mate to work on improving when they know they will be getting something in return. This takes the heat off of just them, and makes the solution become a team effort. The power of reciprocation can also be seen when explaining to your mate the advantage of making the change. For instance, to a partner balking at the idea of making dinner in the evening, explain to them that if they share in the chore, they’ll be able to make the types of food they most enjoy eating, etc.

4. Timing

Timing is so important when we have to talk about a behavioral problem we are having with our mate. Often, we are driven to talk about these things as they happen, but that is not always the best time to start a serious heart to heart. Wait until both you and your partner are in a neutral, stress free mood, place yourself in a position of minimal threat (side to side, rather than face to face), and openly express your feelings how you’d like to see things change. Use the word “I” as an opener to your conversation (“I feel like…”) rather than “you” (“You always…”).

5. Stay on Subject

Too often when attempting to explain a problem to a mate, we end up going off on a tangent about other things until we come around to the part we actually wanted to talk about. We may think that we are buttering them up for the punchline, but we often just lose their attention and patience. If you really want to talk to your mate about an important request, stay on subject, be direct (short), and use clear, concise sentences.

6. Hush Approach

On occasion, we will listen to advice coming from various sources more than our own mate. It does not mean that we don’t respect their ideas, but some ideas have more credibility when they seem to be coming from several outside sources. For instance, if you are looking to get your mate to quit smoking, rather than hounding them about how bad it is for them, casually offer them tidbits of information in the form of articles or newsletters. This takes the bite from your own words, and puts it into the mouth of another.

7. Hate to Manipulate

I’ve mentioned this already, but it bares enough importance to repeat. Manipulation tactics, such as bribing, dictating, and offering a combination of reward and punishment may work with (some) animals, but the human intellect is much more capable of resentment once it realizes it’s being taken advantage of. A partner does not want to be forced into doing what you think is right, but rather figure out what is right for themselves. You can guide your mate to the land of Oompa Loompa, but you can’t make them do the funny dance unless they want to!

TOP TEN DATING MYTHS

Dating and the human brain offer such a complex array of idiosyncrasies that it’s sometimes difficult to distinguish truth from myth. Thankfully, we always have research to turn to when trying to solve the complex puzzle of the human brain. Let’s look at the top ten dating myths that have been (at least somewhat) debunked by science.

Myth 1: Bedroom Talk

There’s a lot of talk about lying in relationships, and many relationship experts claim that one of the best places to quietly discuss matters with a new lover is in the privacy of one’s bedroom. What research has found, however, is that the bedroom is actually where the greatest number of lies are told. If you want to find out what somebody is really thinking, studies show that talking around the breakfast table is the closest you’ll ever come to a truth serum.

Myth 2: Girls Are Crazy About Sensitive Men

There is a movement suggesting that what really drives women crazy is sensitive men. While women may believe that sensitive men are great, studies show that what initially catches their eye is rugged, masculine looks (square jaw, large nose, etc.) and a carefree attitude. The only time a sensitive guy (small chin, raised eyebrows, caring) might have the upper hand is when a woman is looking for a marriage partner – but too much sensitivity (being a pushover, indecisiveness) can count against him.

Myth 3: No Such Thing as Being Too Picky

If you don’t mind the possibility of keeping your own company for the duration of your life, then this may indeed be true. Otherwise, you are living in the popular myth that there is a perfect person out there for each of us. There is a very fine line between being picky and compromising the reality of your relationships. Popular research suggests that we can be perfectly happy with only 80 percent of our needs met.

Myth 4: Doesn’t Matter What They Say, I’m the Only One Who Knows

When we are newly in love or infatuation, our brains are usually so clouded with morphine-like chemicals that it’s hard to see any bad in the world, much less the bad in our new love. Usually, the people who can see the situation clearly are our friends and family, so while you may think you know better than they do, it is certainly at least worth listening to their concerns.

Myth 5: Living Together Irons Out the Wrinkles

It’s common belief that living together prior to marriage helps couples iron out the small wrinkles of joint living, but what research has found is that it actually increases your chances of divorce. Couples who choose to live together are, one, slightly hesitant about the union, and two, comfortable in the fact that if it doesn’t work out they can move on. This is the wrong mindset for a long and happy marriage.

Myth 6: Third Time’s the Charm

A lot of multiple-divorce couples like to chant “Third time’s the charm” when getting married for their third, and hopefully last, time. They feel comforted by this phrase, as does their partner in cahoots. The truth of the matter is, however, that a second marriage has a 60 to 67 percent chance of failure, while a third marriage has a dismal 73 to 75 percent chance. Don’t kid yourself.

Myth 7: Pickup Lines Never Work

Research shows that humorous and complimentary pickup lines work on some men and women if delivered with honesty, creativity and sincerity.

Myth 8: Impossible to Love Two People At Once

If an individual falls for two people who possess two very opposing, yet complimentary personalities, together they may add up to the ultimate partner. This is why it’s easier than some people think to fall in love with two people.

Myth 9: All Men are Cheaters

There is research out there stating that men are the bigger cheaters, and that it is also easy to find research pointing to men and women as cheating fairly equally, as well as evidence concluding that women are the bigger cheaters. If there is anything we can conclude from this, it’s that it is the person who cheats, and not the gender, so we should look at the individual and the signs they give (male or female) in order to decipher their potential as a mate.

Myth 10: Cold Shower

Some people believe that after a particularly heated date that ends without a bang, it’s a good idea to relieve any pent up, lingering sexual energy by taking a cold shower. What research has found, however, is cold showers actually stimulate the production of hormones and sexual desire, thereby producing the opposite effect of what one would hope.

CELINE DION GIVES BIRTH TO TWIN BOYS

Celine Dion has given birth to twin boys, finally realizing her dream of being a mother again after a long struggle to become pregnant.

A statement released by St. Mary's Medical Center in West Palm Beach, Fla., said that the 42-year-old superstar singer delivered the boys Saturday afternoon. One boy weighed 5 pounds, 10 ounces, while the other weighed 5 pounds, 4 ounces. No names have been announced.

Dion and her husband-manager, Rene Angelil, are already the parents of one son, 9-year-old Rene Charles. But Dion had long wanted to have more children, and, like with her first child, she had difficulty becoming pregnant. She has spoken openly about her struggles, undergoing several rounds of in-vitro fertilization.

Last year, after information leaked that she was pregnant, she confirmed the news, only to learn that the in vitro procedure was not successful. She had to issue a reversal weeks later.

In an interview earlier this year, Dion said she hoped that by publicly sharing her struggle, she could help others.

"If I help people through my voice, through my interviews, through what I go through, I do not want to change that at all," she said. "I think it's making a difference."

The boys came a month early. Dion was due to deliver next month, but earlier this week, it was announced that she was hospitalized as a precaution to make sure she was near her doctors as she prepared to give birth.

Dion, a five-time Grammy winner who has sold tens of millions of albums, announced earlier this year that she would be returning to Las Vegas for a three-year run at Caesar's Palace. She had a hugely successful five-year run in Las Vegas that ended in 2007.

20 things all men should know...

1. Persistence is Flattering… Then it becomes annoying, and finally, downright creepy. Men don’t like to be considered quitters, but sometimes we’ve got no other option.

2. Women’s Lib Does Not Include Going Dutch. Most women still appreciate a guy to pick up the check. If she insists on paying half, let her, otherwise you’ll risk appearing inflexible, chauvinistic, and disagreeable.

3. Women Love a Man Who Talks About His Family. It means he is close to them and cares about them, and even more importantly, it means he might one day be into having one of his own. But don’t take this as an invitation to be a mama’s boy!

4. Women Love a Man With a Plan… One who is not afraid to hold a baby, and one who can pull off wearing a clean white t-shirt.

5. Don’t Push Her Off of the Porn Train. Some women don’t like pornography, some do, and some feel left out (cheated on) because he hides it from her like some sort of dirty secret. Sometimes sharing is the best policy.

6. If She Cuts the Night Short… She might really need to cut something else. Men and women are both human after all, so if she calls the night short, don’t just assume she doesn’t want you to call again. Sometimes emergencies do come up.

7. Women Don’t Want Us to Solve All Their Problems… Sometimes they just want us to listen, repeat and understand!

8. If She Cheats, You Deserved It (In Her Mind). Cheating is shaky ground for any relationship, but research shows that women who cheat do so as a direct result of feeling unloved, unappreciated and entitled to happiness. Now you know, and now you know how to do something about it.

9. Squeezing Her Breasts is Not Foreplay. Most women prefer a touch and gentle caress.

10. Women Have Hair in Strange Places. If your girl doesn’t have any of the signs of being a disciple of Bigfoot, appreciate the time she has spent to get rid of it.

11. She Knows You’re Lying. Women have the uncanny ability to read people, according to some research, which comes from the motherly necessity to read her baby’s needs by looking at facial expressions and vocal patterns. Women know when we’re lying, so why bother?

12. When She is Feeling Down and Irritable… Give her a big hug, rather than busting her hump for being grumpy. This is an instant invitation to her good side (assuming you didn’t cause the bad feelings in the first place).

13. Thank You Goes a Long Way. Studies suggest that in lopsided relationships, the overworked partner will remain satisfied as long as the other partner remembers to say “Thank you.” This isn’t about telling you how to take advantage of her, but rather about appreciating her for everything she does.

14. Women Still Like… Being asked on a proper date. Don’t get lazy in today’s age of information technology. Sometimes the best way to do things is the old fashioned way!

15. A Woman’s Breasts Swell Up to 25% During Good Sex. This is her body’s way of seducing/attracting/urging the man to finish with a finale… so don’t disappoint her. Interestingly, some research also suggests the smaller the breasts, the more dramatic the size increase will be.

16. Don’t Mention PMS… Unless asking to buy her pads at the store. Don’t use her biology to explain her bad mood. This is just simple common courtesy.

17. Women Prefer Macho to Date and Sensitive to Marry. Men can actually dictate the types of women they attract by how much they express their masculine side vs. their sensitive. Who knew that dodging commitment could be so easy!

18. Women Like Spontaneity. Whisking her away on a weekend trip on short notice is spontaneous. Showing up fifteen minutes late and asking “So, what do you want to do now?” is not!

19. She is Less Excited About Receiving Lingerie Than You Are About Giving It. They say that women love shiny things, but when it comes to glimmering showgirl costumes, not all are as excited to climb aboard your fantasy train.

20. Cleaning and Doing the Dishes… Is one of the sexiest things you can do to get her in the mood. Try it. I swear, I’m not being paid to tell you this stuff!

why do women cheat????

Asking why women cheat is a pretty good question, but perhaps an even better question is: Why are men usually the last to know? Many psychologists believe that it has something to do with the fact that he doesn’t want to believe his partner is capable of cheating, and that she is right there along with him. Some women are more likely to bottle up their emotions when there’s a serious problem in their relationship, and many men don’t know how to read between the lines.

One of the best ways for a guy to know if his relationship is on dangerous ground, is to know the reasons that women cheat in the first place. Keep in mind that these reasons are not meant to offer justification for what she may (or may not) be doing, but rather to help explain the motion of the cog wheels turning in her head. The best way to avoid a cheating spouse, is to understand where they’re coming from.

1. Revenge

This one is obvious, but reminds us that we are all human. Some women have been known to justify an affair, out of the simple reason that her partner was unfaithful to her. Revenge does not always describe a situation of infidelity, however, as in some cases, the revenge is focused on his inability to make her happy. In a sense she’s getting revenge for his failure to uphold his promise to love, honor (admire), and obey her.

2. Thrill

Studies suggest that over 50 percent of men who cheat, do so despite being in relatively happy relationships. For women, however, only 36 percent will cheat when they are happy. While some women are indeed attracted to the thrill of the catch, even more commonly, it is because they are unhappy with their partner.

3. Entitlement

We all feel some degree of entitlement in life. We feel entitled to respect, love, and a relatively happy life. When we assume these needs are being sabotaged by a partner, it may be natural to take action to overcome their negative influence. This is the belief of Shapiro Barash, a gender studies professor at Marymount Manhattan College, who believes women justify cheating when they believe their partner is the main source of their unhappiness.

In other words, women feel entitled to be happy, and if they must cheat to achieve this, then it’s his fault for not taking care of business. Out of 120 cheaters interviewed by Barash, 90 percent claimed that they were in the right, and felt little to no guilt for their actions. Some psychologists suggest that women rarely stumble upon affairs by accident, but rather give them careful thought, justify them, and then act upon them with carefully planned diligence.

This could be one factor why statistics indicate that female cheaters are less common than men. According to the University of Washington, 15 percent of women cheat, compared to 20 percent of men. Perhaps they are just better at avoiding being caught. Another possible factor is that cheating is much less socially acceptable for women, so during these types of surveys, women may not always tell the truth.

4. Biology

Researcher, Satoshi Kanazawa, suggests the idea of cheating may not be so much a contemplated action, but rather a root of evolutionary adaptation. He has outlined this belief among several interpretations of the biological development of human beings, such as the fact than men are larger than women, suggesting we lived within polygamous (one man, several wives/partners) societies at one time, similar to the gorilla.

In these primate societies, the women are often promiscuous, especially when the male species has developed larger testes and a sexual organ shaped like a scoop. The larger testes theoretically deposit a greater number of sperm to overcome competing suitors, while his scoop-shaped organ was adapted over time to remove competing sperm before depositing his own.

Kanazawa suggests that while men may have needed polygamous relationships to survive, that is no longer the case. Men prosper best in modern society within a single family, monogamous environment. They have slowly adapted to this. Women, on the other hand, continue to have the same partnership with one male, suggesting that her lineage has needed to adapt very little. Kanazawa uses this to suggest women may not value sexual exclusivity as much as man, and therefore continue to be promiscuous.

5. Release

Another explanation for why women cheat is that they are at the end of their rope, and looking for a way out. Sometimes the thought of calling off a partnership can seem like a daunting step, especially if she is reliant on him in some way. In this case, some women choose to test the waters. If she finds a new source of support and security, she may become slightly more careless in expectation of getting caught, using the affair as a catalyst to quickly dissolve her current relationship.

Statistics show that over 50 percent of cheating wives conclude their marriages with divorce, which many psychologists speculate is exactly what they wanted. Psychologists also make the assumption that the other part of this equation is the inability of society (and the husband) to forgive a cheating wife. The old “boys will be boys” excuse does not work for women, although this is slowly changing.

In short, women cheat because they are emotional beings with needs, desires, temptations and faults. Any man who ignores these truths, is also capable of ignoring her cries for help, which if left unheard, can result in the demise of a perfectly salvageable relationship.

What do you think – what are the top reasons why women cheat?

5 signs that he is not the one...

1. You can’t trust him. Trust is the cornerstone of any relationship, and without it, there is no relationship to be had. The concept of trust permeates every facet of any partnership with two people, most significantly in romantic ones.

Trust can cover many types of behavior, including doing what he says he’s going to do, keeping promises, showing up, and following through. These are all important actions in the dating dynamic. In a galaxy far away, I dated a guy who was always shifty and vague when we made plans. This made me not trust him, and as it later turned out, he was validating my fears with his infidelity. In a word… next!

2. He brings out the worst in you. Any man who seems to thrive on conflict or discord within your relationship is bad news. If he’s anything less than compassionate and supportive, chances are he’s not into the relationship for anything other than drama. The point of a romantic relationship is to love, support and nurture each other. (Contrary to what reality shows might tell you, they’re not about drama, hurt feelings, conspiracy plots, or psychologist bills.)

Life is too short to deny yourself the love and support you deserve. Again, if this is happening, move on!

3. You have no shared interests outside the bedroom. Ah yes, the thrill of exploring the sexual landscape in a new relationship is exciting and fun, but it’s important to cultivate interests outside of sex. If there are no shared interests, that could be telling. Without common interests and goals, the relationship will become one-dimensional (which leads to “stifling,” which leads to “it’s over”). If he’s only interested in the physical part of your relationship, you have to look at that closely. Chances are that you’re limiting your own range of experiences, and you can do so much better, girlfriend.

4. You have to make excuses for his behavior. If he’s saying or doing things that make you uncomfortable, he’s definitely telling you something about himself and his character. Different people have different ideals and comfort levels; one person’s “acceptable” can be another’s “unacceptable.” If your man is behaving in ways you find unacceptable and putting you in an uncomfy place, look at that. As Grandma Ellie used to say, “Actions tell the tale” – and, honey, they do.

What are his actions telling you? If they’re anything less than supportive, ethical, fair and fabulous, move on!

5. He’s not available. Do you notice that personal ads never advertise: “Cold, unfeeling bastard seeking doormat girlfriend to annoy?” They don’t, because everyone who says they’re out to find a relationship is out to have a relationship, right? Not necessarily, my fair sisters. Sometimes the unavailable come dressed up as available, reasonable, sane men and try to drive us insane with their inconsistencies. Don’t let it happen to you. Again, listen to the words he’s saying and cross reference with what he’s doing. Is he pining for you all day only to avoid your calls that evening? If the actions and words are out of whack, you have to take a good, honest look. Does he say he’s ready for a relationship only to do and say things that alienate you?

Be fearless! Know that if “he” isn’t the One, the Universe will provide. Trust and believe: you’re hearing this from a gal who’s been there. I know from my own experience that letting go of the game-playing boys-disguised-as-men freed my time, and I found the One. I wish you the same happiness and success!

top ten lies men tell...

A new survey by OnePole, shows how much lying both men and women do. Women tell an average of 728 lies per year, while men ride the line of over 1,090! If you think all these lies weigh heavily on his guilty conscience, 30 percent deliver them ease and comfort. Here are the top 10 lies he could be dishing out, and what you can do about them:

1. "I didn't have much to drink"
The number one lie told by men is how much they have had to drink. This is more of a lie to themselves than anyone else. An inebriated man is not good at fibbing. It can become a potentially serious problem if he lies about it too often. Wait until he regains sobriety to discuss any concerns about his behavior.

2. "Nothing's wrong, I'm Fine"
Men are taught to not be emotional beings. If he's sad, he's fine, if depressed, he's still fine. It can get awfully lonely for a man going through a difficult time. He feels as if there is nobody he can turn to. This is why it's important he knows someone is there for him. Keep in mind, it's easier for him to express anger when he's vulnerable, so give him space and let him come to you once he's ready.

3. "My battery died," "I didn't know you called"
It is entirely possible for these events to take place, but if these types of circumstances happen too often, they are probably more than just circumstance. Generally these lies are designed to cover up the fact that he's screening his calls, and you're no longer on his priority list. This can be a sign that a man is losing interest or falling out of love. Back off, and give him some space to realize he misses you.

4. "I don't care"
Yes, he does. Men desperately seek the approval of their partner. When faced with the prospects of criticism, blame, and the disappointment of a partner, a man may wall himself off by denying the importance of the relationship. This is the cue to pull back and express negative feelings with sensitivity. Men can handle "I feel" or "I need," much better than they can, "you are" or "you always."

5. "It wasn't expensive"
Women have expensive tastes, but men are just as guilty when it comes to their toys and vanity. Men pride themselves in being responsible with money, so when they buy something reckless, they lie to avoid the guilt of irresponsibility. Based on studies, men are much more susceptible to purchase expensive items for the purpose of deceiving others into thinking they are something they're not.

6. "I'm on my way," "I was stuck in traffic"
When a man is less than excited to be somewhere, these lies can add 20 to 40 minutes of free time to his schedule. This form of passive aggression spites his partner since he's showing up late, while hiding his contempt behind what he considers a plausible excuse. Instead of complaining that he's always late, try letting him know when (and why) it's really important for him to be on time.

7. "I didn't forget"
Men know the punitive damages of forgetting a birthday or anniversary. When faced with this transgression he will deny it, excuse himself quietly, drive to the nearest grocery store, and buy the biggest bouquet of flowers he can. Men don't understand the importance of remembering key relationship moments, so ambush his lies by communicating expectations openly and clearly.

8. "I'd never get plastic surgery"
Men are actually just as vain as women. In a 2007 survey, it was found that 17 percent of men had performed some sort of cosmetic surgery, whether hair transplant or botox injections. It's an increase of 5 and 21 percent, respectively, compared to just a few decades ago.

9. "I understand"
Men want to understand, but often their communication style differs so much they form a wedge between their partner. If he says he understands, make sure your needs have been explained with action-type words, rather than symbolic inference. For example, men will understand the phrase, "I want you to grab and kiss me more often," much more than, "I need more romance."

10. "I'm not married," "My wife and I are separated"
Cheating among married men is a tricky proposition. His real trick is to capture his pursued sex object's confidence, making her think she's about to get a good man -- when in fact she's only getting a cheating husband. Never believe a married man who makes these types of statements or promises. If he's a cheater, he's also a liar!

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150 Northern Leaders Insist on 2011 Presidency

In a deft move to counter the alleged ambition of Presi-dent Goodluck Jonathan in 2011, no fewer than 150 top politicians from the North converged on Abuja last night to strategise on how to enforce the contentious zoning of presidency to the North.
The leaders insisted that the North should produce the President in 2011 based on the Peoples Democratic Party (PDP) zoning arrangement, which they claimed had ceded power to the region till 2015.
They, however, said the meeting was not targeted against any individual, apparently referring to President Jonathan.
In attendance at the meeting among others were former military President Ibrahim Babangida, former Vice-President Atiku Abubakar, National Security Adviser, General Aliyu Gusau, Mallam Adamu Ciroma, Gen. David Jemibewon, Gen. Mohammed Magoro, Air Cmdr. Hamza Abdullahi and former PDP Chairman Audu Ogbeh.

THISDAY gathered that only one agenda was up for deliberation at the meeting, and it centred on how the North will reclaim power and keep it till 2015.
A sub-issue at the meeting was how the North will negotiate with other regions to ensure that the “gentleman's agreement” is respected.
At the end of the meeting, the leaders set up three committees to work on the contact and mobilization of other zones and stakeholders in the country to back their position.
Proponents of zoning claimed that former President Olusegun Obasanjo had done the South’s two terms of eight years based on the agreement and that the North is expected to produce the president for eight years till 2015, notwithstanding the death of President Umaru Musa Yar’Adua on May 6, 2010 after three years on the saddle.
Yesterday’s parley was the first time the pro-zoning forces would make public their meetings. There have been reported cases of similar meetings in some parts of the North to prefect plans on how to stop Jonathan’s aspiration.
The meeting, which held at the Shehu Musa Yar’Adua Centre, Abuja, started around 8 pm and was attended by five delegates from each of the 19 states of the North.
At the end of the meeting at about 11.20pm, former Senate President Prof. Iyorcha Ayu flanked by Babangida and Atiku addressed the press.
Ayu said yesterday's meeting was not targeted against any individual or zone but that it is an effort at strengthening national cohesion and peace.
He said no fewer than 150 political leaders from the North were at the meeting.
According to him, the aim is to prevail on concerned individuals and groups to respect the agreed template on zoning.
He said three committees were constituted to among other things reach out to the other geopolitical zones for "mobilisation."
The committees will be chaired by Ciroma, Magaji Dambatta and Prof. Ignatius Ayua.
On the issue of consensus candidate, he said "it is too premature to speak on that."
When asked if the agenda of the meeting is to pave the way for the emergence of a Northern candidate, he queried, “what is wrong with that,” adding “after all, the person who was president between 1999 to 2007 was not a Northerner.”
President Jonathan in an interview with CNN’s Christine Amanpour during his visit to the United States in April had refused to categorically rule himself out of the 2011 race.
Since then some politicians in the North have been strategising on how to stop the president’s alleged ambition.
One of the strategies is to impress it on Jonathan that the zoning formula should be respected.
But recently prominent leaders of the South-south had moved to back Jonathan, saying they would mobilise the whole of the South and North for him.
Various groups have also continued to advocate for Jonathan presidency in 2011.
They point to the manner of his emergence and the fact that he enjoys global acceptance as president.
Jonathan has, however, said he is committed to conducting a free and fair election.
His appointment of Professor Attahiru Jega as INEC chairman-designate is seen as a step in this direction.
Others at yesterday’ meeting included Alhaji Lawal Kaita, Alhaji Saleh Hassan, Alhaji Nuhu Aliyu, Mohammed Goni, MD Yusuf, Senator Maitama Bello Yusuf, Jibrin Maigari, Ibrahim Isa Kaita, Sulieman Isyaku, Ezekiel Ibrahim, Yahaya Kwande, Shaba Lafiagi, Patrick Adaba and Bello Kurfi.
Others were Sen. Mohammed Ahmed, Sen. Zainab Kure, Senator Iyorchia Ayu, lliya Gada and Alhaji Salisu Ibrahim


PDP NEC ratifies Nwodo as chairman
•Says: ‘Party has lost its goodwill’

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Dr. Nwodo



After weeks of sustained suspense , the National Executive Council (NEC) of the Peoples Democratic Party (PDP) yesterday ratified the nomination of its former National Secretary, Chief Okwesilieze Nwodo as the new National Chairman.

The former national chairman, Prince Vincent Ogbulafor, resigned from the position after he was charged with corruption by the Independent Corrupt Practices and other Related Offences Commission (ICPC).
Nwodo had earlier been nominated by the PDP caucus at its meeting held at the Presidential Villa with President Goodluck Jonathan, Chairman of the PDP, Board of Trustees, (BOT) and former President, chief Olusegun Obasanjo, Senate President David Mark, in attendance.

The announcement of Nwodo as chairman, was delayed to ensure compliance with the party’s constitution, which stipulates that a new entrant to the PDP , can only seek party office, provided he was given a waiver. Before his formal announcement yesterday, the Enugu State chapter of the party had given Nwodo a waiver while the South-East zone of the party also endorsed it and sent same to the PDP’s National Working Committee (NWC), in accordance with the party’s constitution. The new National Chairman returned to the party last year, after a two-year romance with the Action Congress (AC).

Speaking at the national secretariat , venue of the event yesterday, President Jonathan called on the leadership of the party to ensure that internal democracy was restored in the PDP, to ensure amity.
The President cautioned against imposition of aspirants in the party.

“I want to plead with the party that especially as the elections are coming, one of the areas we normally have problems is the issue of internal democracy. That this time around, as a party and a nation, we had to do things in a way that would not bring problems for us. So, in all the areas that we used to have irritations, we should avoid it and work together and see that the next candidates we present for all levels of election from the least , the councillorship to the highest, the presidency, should be candidates selected by the people.

The party had to set up a machinery to make sure that we resolve at least most of these crises before the elections. I have mentioned severally that on my own part and on the part of the government, we will make sure that the votes of Nigerians count for the final election.” The President also admonished PDP members to work as a team, submitting that lack of team spirit was what cost the party victory in Anambra State.

“Let us acknowledge the fact that one of us must always emerge as candidate to fly the party’s flag in a contest. In Anambra, PDP had the votes, but APGA won the election. If we aggregate the votes of PDP members who defected to other parties, we had the votes,” Jonathan observed. Speaking after his ratification, Dr Nwodo assured party leaders at the gathering that the days of imposition were over in PDP.

“Our process of choosing our candidates must once again be subjected to the dictates of our party’s constitution and the extant rules… we must return the choice of our candidates to the people and not to individual godfathers and godmothers. It is only by this time honoured democratic process that we can present to the Nigerian people for elective offices, quality candidates that are imbued with the patriotic vision of our party.

“The days of imposition of candidates by the PDP, hoping to hoist such leaders on the people of Nigeria through rigged elections are over and over forever. Our members aspiring to carry our banner in future elections must start now to market themselves and canvass their programmes aggressively to our party members and to the Nigerian electorate’’, Nwodo submitted.

The new chairman also lamented that over the years PDP had squandered its goodwill.
“We rode to power on the massive support and enormous goodwill of the Nigerian people. Over the years, we have squandered it to the point that even some of our members are no longer proud to be identified as PDP members and other Nigerians say that the problem of Nigeria is the PDP,’’ Nwodo noted


Celebrating Nigeria at 50

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Come October 1, Nigeria will add one more feather to her cap as the nation marks its golden jubilee. This year's anniversary, it seems, will be like no other before it since the country got her independence from Great Britain in 1960. In this connection, the Federal Government has been making elaborate plans to make the anniversary a remarkable event.

Understandably, some individuals, groups, and in particular, the Nigeria Labour Congress (NLC) have criticized some aspects of the anniversary plans, especially the financial. No doubt, organized Labour may have expressed the feelings of some Nigerians who are calling for a low-key celebration, devoid of pomp and circumstance.

However, the fact that our country is still together despite many fault lines and differences that could have torn us irretrievably apart is worth celebrating. Moreover, it is in line with the vision and aspirations of our elder statesmen who championed the quest for nationhood, and got it without shedding blood.

More importantly, we should not gloss over the fact that 50 years represents a milestone, a threshold in any nation's history. The enduring significance of the anniversary will find its true meaning if it is used as a platform for deep reflection, a period of soul-searching on how far we have come collectively as a nation, what we have been able to achieve, our failures, pains and how to chart a new course for a better Nigeria.

Beyond the fireworks, the joy and clinking of glasses that come with this year's epochal event, we urge that this anniversary be used to provide the right pathway for cementing our unity and turning our weaknesses into strength.

More than at any other event, the forthcoming anniversary should be used to engender the spirit of nationalism among our different peoples. Let it also be another opportunity to find solutions to our nagging national problems.
Whether Nigeria as a nation has achieved much to warrant rolling out of the drums at 50 remains arguable. Nevertheless, we insist that our gains far outweigh our losses.

The enduring impact should be the opportunity it affords the citizens, especially the political leadership, to articulate our challenges and connect with the people and their aspirations. Therefore, the present administration should see the forthcoming jubilee as a veritable platform to walk the talk. Real action should take the place of promises. That is what the tempers of these challenging times demand. Government should strive to get its priorities right. Governance is a human enterprise, which makes sense only if it is focused on how to improve the fortunes of the people and make them have abiding faith in the nation. This has been one of the areas in which our successive governments have been found wanting.

We advise governments across the country to use this unique occasion to reflect on the challenges before them. Let them gauge public opinion, desires and demands, and direct their energies and resources towards fulfilling them. Attention should be focused on the different areas of our economy that need urgent attention. These include prudent management of resources, poverty alleviation and provision of gainful employment and infrastructure such as electricity, good roads and medical facilities.

The forthcoming anniversary should be used as an occasion to prioritize our needs against competing demands as a nation. If we fail to plan well, we unwittingly plan to fail. Our governments, at all levels, must not allow this to happen


Frail Nelson Mandela attends memorial service for great-granddaughter, 13, killed in a car crash

A sombre and frail Nelson Mandela attended the funeral for his 13-year-old great-granddaughter today, after she was killed in a car crash following the World Cup's opening concert.

The 91-year-old anti-apartheid icon leaned on a walking stick as he entered the brick chapel of the Johannesburg private school Zenani Mandela had attended.

Dressed in a black coat and wearing a corsage of pink roses, he took a front row pew after being ferried to the chapel door by golf buggy.

His great-granddaughter was a member of the choir, marimba club and drum corps of St Stithians College, where her funeral was held, and wanted to be a plastic surgeon. [cid:image003.jpg@01CB0EB8.DBFD8F30]

Loving family: Mandela is helped into the service, while Zenani's school friends hold flowers in her memory
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Winnie Madikizela Mandela arrives with her daughter, Zindzi, right, for the funeral services for Zenani today. Zenani was her great granddaughter
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Tragic: Zenani Mandela was killed in a car crash last week as she left the World Cup concert

A private burial was held earlier today, and the public were welcomed to the Methodist chapel service, with several hundred people attending, including an overflow crowd in a tent outside.

Mr Mandela's wife, Graca Machel, accompanied him. Also present was his ex-wife, Winnie Madikizela-Mandela, Zenani's great-grandmother, lawyer George Bizos, who had defended Mandela during the apartheid years, and Mandela's grandson, Mandla Mandela.

An anguished message was read during the service from Zenani's mother, Zoleka Mandela-Seakamela - the daughter of Zindzi Mandela, the former president's youngest child.

Mandela-Seakamela said she wished she had indulged her daughter more, allowing her to sleep in late and wear make-up.

'I should have given you more hugs, more kisses,' Mandela-Seakamela said.

'If I did all this, would you come back to me, if only for a few seconds?'

If there were tears, there was also laughter Zenani was remembered as a playful, precocious child who liked Hannah Montana and the World Cup anthem 'Waka Waka'.

Zweli Hlongwane, grandfather to the teenager, remembered the girl asking for a drum kit a few days before her death.

She already played the saxophone and the piano.

She was 'always looking for new challenges in life,' Hlongwane said.

The teenager's classmates, dressed in school blazers, and other mourners each held a single white rose.
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Tribute: Mandla Mandela pays tribute to the schoolgirl, who was described as a 'natural star'
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Grief: Mandela's daughter Zenani, a great-aunt of the 13-year-old, hugs a fellow mourner during the service at the St Stithians College Chapel in Sandton, north of Johannesburg

They stood to sing Amazing Grace as the funeral began before a montage of family portraits, including one of Zenani hugging her famous great-grandfather, was projected on a screen as a recording of Lean On Me played.

Other condolence messages were read out that described her as a 'natural born star' who loved music.

Supermodel Naomi Campbell said in a video message that she considered Zenani a goddaughter and remembered playing with the child.

'I was truly blessed to have been able to say that we walked and laughed and got to play dress-up,' she said. 'She will remain in my heart forever.'

Zenani was killed two days after her 13th birthday, after attending a World Cup kick-off concert. She was one of Mandela's nine great-grandchildren.

Police say a close family friend who was driving the car that crashed on a highway on June 10 could be charged with drink-driving and homicide.

After her death, Mr Mandela decided not to make a rare public appearance at the tournament's opening ceremony and first game, as had been planned.
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Strength: Mandela waves as he leaves the chapel in a golf buggy with his wife Graca Machel

France 0 Mexico 2: Javier Hernandez and Cuauhtemoc Blanco fire as El Tri prove too hot for Les Bleus

New Manchester United signing Javier Hernandez inspired Mexico to a superb win over a poor France side last night, leaving the 2006 World Cup finalists on the brink of early elimination.

Hernandez came off the bench to devastating effect, scoring the game’s all-important opener in the 64th minute.

Another substitute, Cuauhtemoc Blanco, heaped more misery on the bedraggled French by converting a penalty at the grand old age of 37 years and 151 days.
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Floored: Hugo Lloris can only look despairingly as Javier Hernandez breaks the deadlock

Mexico thoroughly deserved their win. The Central Americans missed a host of chances before Hernandez supplied the required composure, racing on to a perfectly timed pass from new skipper Rafael Marquez, jinking past Hugo Lloris and slotting into the empty net.

The strike sparked an almighty outpouring of joy, as Mexico’s players and coaching staff mobbed the 22-year-old scorer. Hernandez, who will complete his move from Chivas to United when he receives a work permit in July, described it as a moment of ‘pure happiness’.
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Mexican rave: Hernandez is mobbed by team-mates

The striker, whose grandfather scored against France at the 1954 World Cup, added: ‘It was such a big goal for the team and the whole country. It took a long time in coming so when I scored it, everyone was thrilled.’

Mexico’s joy contrasted sharply with the dejection of France coach Raymond Domenech, who incorrectly claimed Hernandez’s goal should have been disallowed for offside.

‘All I can say is that the goal which clinched the game shouldn’t have counted,’ said Domenech.

Few will have sympathy with France’s outgoing boss, given the manner in which the former world champions reached South Africa, helped by Thierry Henry’s blatant handball to set up a play-off goal which denied Ireland.
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What goes around...: A fan makes reference to the furore over France qualifying against Ireland

The loss leaves France bottom of Group A with one point and without a goal, while Mexico join Uruguay at the top with four points.

A draw between those two in the last game would seal the elimination of France. Domenech’s decision to recall Chelsea winger Florent Malouda did not spark an improvement, as his incoherent team failed to create openings for the second game running.
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Zut alors! France contemplate an early World Cup exit

MATCH FACTS

FRANCE (4-2-3-1): Lloris 5; Sagna 4,
Gallas 4, Abidal 3, Evra 4; Toulalan 5,
Diaby 4; Govou 3 (Valbuena 69min, 5),
Ribery 5, Malouda 6; Anelka 3
(Gignac 45, 5).
Booked: Toulalan, Abidal.

MEXICO (4-3-3): Perez 6; Osorio 6,
Moreno 6, Rodriguez 7, Salcido 7;
Juarez 6 (Hernandez 55, 7), Marquez 8,
Torrado 7; Dos Santos 7, Franco 6
(Blanco 62, 7), Vela 5 (Barrera 31, 6).
Booked: Franco, Juarez, Moreno,
Rodriguez.

Man of the match: Rafael Marquez.
Referee: Khalil Al Ghamdi (S Arabia).

Mexico might have opened the scoring inside eight minutes as Carlos Vela sprinted clear of Arsenal teammate William Gallas only to blast over. Guillermo Franco and Giovani dos Santos also struck efforts off target and Carlos Salcido forced Lloris into a sharp save.

The European giants enjoyed plenty of possession but did little with it. They continue to resemble a collection of individuals rather than a team, rarely combining in the final third.

Indeed, it took them 45 minutes to conjure a shot on target and even then, Nicolas Anelka’s weak effort did not trouble Oscar Perez.

Anelka was hauled off for Andre-Pierre Gignac at the break, yet it was Mexico’s substitutes who proved decisive.
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Doubling up: Cuauhtemoc Blanco beats Lloris from twelve yards

After Hernandez’s goal, Pablo Barrera, who had replaced the injured Vela, was felled by the clumsy Eric Abidal. Blanco easily beat Lloris from the spot.

Javier Aguirre was generous enough to describe the game as ‘very tight’, the Mexico coach adding: ‘We were stronger than France in the second half

WORLD CUP 2010: Greece 2 Nigeria 1: Vassilis Torosidis' second-half strike condemns 10-man Nigeria to defeat


Whatever happens for the rest of this slowly improving World Cup, little will match for
absurdity yesterday’s sight of Nigeria goalkeeper Vincent Enyeama being helped off the field in tears just as he was announced man of the match.

If Nigeria exit after the group stage, it will be hard to decide who to blame. Enyeama for the dreadful error that let Greece win or Sani Kaita for the naive foul that got him sent off when the Africans were leading in the first half.
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Greek god: Vassilis Torosidis scores in the second half to give Greece the win

How peculiar, though, that FIFA’s online audience should vote Enyeama the star only moments after he had essentially handed over the chance to progress.

The Hapoel Tel Aviv keeper made some good saves in this terrific game in
Bloemfontein, including a dive left to stop a Georgios Samaras header and a plunge
right to deny Theofanis Gekas — both made when it was 1-1.

But in spooning a low drive from Alexandros Tziolis into the path of Vasileios Torosidis with 19 minutes left, he took his side to the brink of elimination.
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Seeing red: Sani Kaita covers his face after being sent off

With the usual discussion of the adidas ball later, Enyeama saw his chance.

‘If you watch the TV replays you will see it swerving,’ he said. ‘But there is nothing we can do about it. It is the ball that we have got, the ball that FIFA gave us. The man-of-the-match award means nothing now.’

After an early 40-yard Kalu Uche free-kick made a fool of Greek goalkeeper Alexandros
Tzorvas, Nigeria looked set to send Greece home.
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Perfect start: Kalu Uche opens the scoring for Nigeria in the first half

MATCH FACTS

Greece (4-3-3): Tzorvas 5; Vyntra 6, Papastathopoulos 6 (Samaras 37min, 6), Papadopoulos 7, Kyrgiakos 6; Tziolis 6, Katsouranis 8, Torosidis 7; Salpingidis 7, Gekas 6 (Ninis 79), Karagounis 6.
Booked: Papastathopoulos, Tziolis, Samaras.
Nigeria (4-4-2): Enyeama 6; Odiah 6, Yobo 6, Shittu 7, Taiwo 6 (Echiejile 55, 6);
Kaita 4, Haruna 5, Etuhu 7, Uche 7; Odemwingie 6 (Ogbuke Obasi 45, 6), Yakubu 6.
Booked: Ogbuke Obasi. Sent off: Kaita.
Man of the match: Konstantinos Katsouranis.
Referee: Oscar Ruiz (Colombia).

But when Kaita recklessly kicked at Torosidis, the game changed. The Greek defender, later to score the winning goal, had made a meal of things but that did not excuse Kaita’s red card.

With an extra man, Greece came to life, as Dimitrios Salpingidis scored their first World Cup goal when his shot struck Nigeria’s Lukman Haruna and flew into the net.

Both teams then looked for a win that would give them an advantage ahead of the final group games.

Nigeria wasted their big chance when substitute Chinedu Ogbuke Obasi missed an open goal — and then Enyeama made his contribution.

Man of the match? For whom

WORLD CUP 2010: There's plenty of brotherly love in South Africa! Sportsmail takes a look at how the tournament has become a family affair


Is South Africa 2010 the most nepotistic in World Cup history? The evidence would suggest so.

It's not a new phenomenon. We’re well versed in the history of the De Boers, the Van der Kerkhofs, the Muhrens and the Koemans. Not to mention the Charltons and the, erm, Nevilles.
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Three's a crowd: Joy for the Wilson family as the three brothers - Wilson, Jhony and Jerry - made World Cup history in South Africa

The family connection dates back to the very first World Cup match in Montevideo in 1930, when brothers Manuel and Felipe Rosas were part of the Mexico side beaten 4-1 by France.

But the difference here is there are ten other sets of relatives at this tournament in South Africa...

Kolo and Yaya Toure (Ivory Coast)

Regular team-mates on the international stage, Kolo and Yaya could well be turning out for the same club team, soon.

Yaya really came to the fore last year as the holding midfielder for Barcelona as the Catalans went on a cup-winning tour of Spain and Europe. Kolo swapped the beautiful game at Arsenal for monied variety at Eastlands.
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This is big bro: Kolo and Yaya in action with Ivory Coast and could be lining up alongside each other with Manchester City next season

And, if the reports are to be believed Roberto Mancini will be doubling his quota of Toure’s at Manchester City with a £25million bid after the finals.

Kevin-Prince and Jerome Boateng (Ghana and Germany)

FA Cup runner up with Portsmouth, Kevin-Prince made a name for himself in the final by ruling out Germany captain Michael Ballack with a bone-crunching tackle.
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Family feud: Kevin-Prince and his brother Jerome may well come face-to-face in the Ghana v Germany clash

Kevin-Prince and Manchester City-bound Jerome could go head-to-head when Ghana (KP's team) meet his half brother's Germany (Jerome's) next Wednesday. Got that?

Wilson, Jhony and Jerry Palacios (Honduras)

Now here’s a first - a trio of brothers at the World Cup finals. And one very proud mother. Initially it was only Wilson and Jhony who made it into the squad.

But Jerry was called up at the last minute after midfielder Julio Cesar de Leon, who has 77 caps, had to pull out with a thigh injury.
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Three's a crowd: Joy for the Wilson family as a triumvirate of brothers made World Cup history in South Africa

Striker Jerry, 28, is with Chinese club Hangzhou Greentown, Wilson, 25, anchors the midfield for Tottenham Hotspur and 23-year-old defender Jhony plays for Olimpia in Honduras.

Bob and Michael Bradley (USA)

Bradley junior plies his trade in Germany with Borussia Monchengladbach. A talented midfielder, his talents were recognised at an early age…by his dad, Bob.
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That's my boy: USA coach Bob Bradley oversees son Michael in training

Michael became the youngest-ever player to be sold by MLS when he joined Dutch outfit Heerenveen in January 2006. And he made his World Cup bow during the 1-1 draw with England.

Vladimir and Vladimir Weiss (Slovakia)

Manchester City rising star Vladimir Weiss made his bow for Slovakia in August last year and featured in the World Cup clash against New Zealand. Selected by his head coach and dad, and watched by his grandfather.

All three rather unimaginatively have the same name, with the older pair turning out for Czechoslovakia in their playing days.

Edgar and Diego Barreto (Paraguay)

Edgar (midfielder) and his brother Diego (goalkeeper) are likely to enjoy very different experiences in South Africa.
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Brother beyond: Paraguay's Diego Barreto (left) and his sibling Edgar

Edgar, 25, is currently with Atalanta in Italy and will feature regularly for his country, but don't expect to see much of Diego. The 28-year-old Cerro Porteno stopper is third choice to line up as Paraguay goalkeeper.

Bert van Marwijk and Mark van Bommel (Holland)

Van Bommel, the Bayern Munich captain, can point to his fantastic club record this season as the factor for him earning a place in South Africa.

Certainly not the fact that his his marriage to Andra van Marwijk has made national manager Bert his father-in-law . Oh, no.

Diego Maradona and Sergio Aguero (Argentina)

Maradona failed to show any loyalty to Sergio Aguero - father of his grandson - when Argentina played Nigeria in their Group B opener.
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I know how it's done: Maradona hands his Aguero some last minute advice - maybe on how to bring up his grandson

Aguero was in red-hot form with Atletico Madrid last season, bagging 20 goals and a further 11 assists. But fell foul of his international boss’s erratic selection process and warmed the bench during his country’s opening game.

Samir and Jasmin Handanovic (Slovenia)

Slovenia goalkeeper Samir Handanovic is ahead of fellow stopper and cousin Jasmin in the pecking order. Which probably causes real headaches at family gatherings.

Arguments over who gets more chips or the last can of pop will forever be decided by Samir’s seniority, causing Jasmin to sulk. Or at least that’s how we imagine it.

Rigobert and Alex Song (Cameroon)

While the reports as to how old Rigobert actually is have failed to nail down a concrete answer, there’s no doubt the senior Song has a wealth of talent at this competition.

The former West Ham defender is into his fourth finals whereas his cousin Alex is playing in just his first.
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On Song: Cousins Rigobert and Alex are on duty for Cameroon in South Africa


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HOW TO SPOT A PLAYER!!!

Spotting a player isn't always an easy task, especially while you're under their spell. The easiest way is to break down their behaviors in five important aspects of starting a new relationship: the first meeting, early communication, getting to know them, dating style, and finally their approach to making time for the relationship.

What is a true player? These are the people who exhibit at least three out of the five of following signs. Even one of these signs should be a warning flag, but you might want to give them the benefit of the doubt, until further indicators point you towards the door. Ultimately, a player is using these tactics to avoid what they want least ... a stable relationship.

The First Meeting
Too Confident- A player has gotten where they are from being good at what they do. This alone drives an incredible amount of confidence in their approach. Women love confident men, and male players take advantage of this to its fullest. While some people are just naturally more confident, remember, one of the signs of interest in a potential partner, is excitement and nervousness. This includes mirroring, which is an unconscious act at mimicking the other person to appear approachable and on their same level. The player does not want to be on your level, they want to be in control. They will get right up close and personal. They are very calculated, smooth, direct, and will rarely make a nervous mistake.

Early Communication
Probing- When an individual is truly interested in getting to know someone, they will ask genuine questions about them. The player, on the other hand, engages on what is more like probing. They may appear to be trying to get to know the person, but they are really only trying to gain pertinent information as to what the person is looking for in a mate. The idea is to bypass all the time it would normally take that person to decide if they really were interested in pursuing a relationship (weighing both their good and bad sides), so they can jump to the top of the list. These questions will be masked in the form of what they like in a partner, what they did not like about their last relationship, what kind of clothes they prefer on a man/woman, etc.

Getting to Know Them
Mystery Men- A little mystery is good, but too much should be a wake-up call. We shouldn't share everything with a potential mate, but if you don't known anything substantive about them, chances are they're hiding something. Examples include never being invited to their home/apartment, rarely being seen in public (especially during the day), checking their phone often (which is obviously set on 'quiet' mode), taking private phone calls, and having a slew of what they call "stalkers," who won't leave them alone. These are all signs that they may be living a second life (cheating, affair, etc.) apart from your budding romance.

Dating Style
Hot & Cold- The hot-and-cold dating style starts off wonderfully. The person is always up for going out, they can't wait to see you, and they are often nauseatingly romantic early in the game ("I can't believe how wonderful you are," "I think I love you," "You're my soulmate"). But once you give them the sign that they are starting to win you over, they disappear for a few days/weeks without much contact. The whole idea is to keep you there with as little effort as possible. They have a lot of people they're stringing along, so they have to conserve energy. Players love the chase, but get bored of the conquered. They are all talk and no action ("we should do this," "I want to take you here"), but they never follow through.

Making Time
Flighty- The player is hard to hold to any plans. They may say they prefer to be spontaneous -- in reality, they are always weighing their best options before they commit. They may have meetings come up, relatives die, an important work function overseas, or some other emergency that will take them away for several days or weeks at a time. During these times, they will have limited contact, such as a minimal phone signal, odd working hours, only access to e-mail, etc. While emergencies can and do come up, players use these exclusively to concentrate on new relationships, while storing their ones away for a rainy day.

Morning Piss: Is Obama "Ill-Equipped," as Former White House Staffer Claims?

Morning Piss: Is Obama "Ill-Equipped," as Former White House Staffer Claims?

10 things men wish women knew!!!!!!

1. Confidence is Sexier Than the Sports Illustrated Swimsuit Issue
How a woman sees herself is ultimately how the man will see her. Despite how media and commercialism tries to bend this rule, attraction is only partially about a woman's physical appearance. Studies have shown time and again that men's attraction to women is a combination of personality, confidence and body language. In other words, feeling sexy is being sexy!

2. Leave us Alone in the Bathroom
I won't bother you if you don't bother me. This is how most men think about the bathroom. Men generally dislike being disrupted in the bathroom, no matter what they are doing. They do not want to be asked how their day was, or if they are going "number two." In addition, most men prefer their partner to close the door when they are doing their own business.

3. Pornography is not a Replacement for Sex With You
Pornography and self-gratification are very common among men. So common, in fact, that the three-fourths of men who admit to it in studies could very well be the only ones telling the truth. As long as the pornography is not a crutch for a troubled relationship, it is a harmless act. If you are concerned about his involvement with porn, the best approach is to talk about it with an open mind, rather than to make accusations. Set boundaries if you must, but a closet porn-watcher is much more unhealthy than one who is open about it with his partner.

4. The Fastest Way to a Man's Heart Really is Through His Stomach
Men love being cooked for, which has absolutely nothing to do with the stereotype of the barefoot and pregnant wife slaving away over a hot stove while he's off doing men's work. It's the 21st century, and studies show men are doing more of the cooking than ever before. Men, however, continue to enjoy the privilege of a home-cooked meal. In fact, Australian research shows men sometimes prefer good food to sex. Good cooking may very well lead to the last headache you'll ever need to fake.

5. We Love the Sound of Your Voice in the Bedroom
You don't have to go overboard -- just let him know he's on the right track. Unless, of course, he isn't, then that is a whole different discussion. Many men base their success, in the moment, on their partners' verbal and visual cues. Studies have shown that men are much more likely to orgasm during their partners' bouts of verbal ecstasy than while quiet. Your voice may be all the Viagra he will ever need.

6. Men Aren't Sexoholics, We Just Need to Feel Wanted
While sex is a biological draw in men, it is also an emotional one. Sex is much more than just biology to a man, it is an outlying force which rates his overall satisfaction with life. Men need to feel wanted, and regular sex offers him a confidence that will carry over into everything he does. When he is rejected from sex, he feels rejected as a partner, husband and provider.

7. We Like the Idea of Romance, We Just Don't Always Know What to do
Most men have tried to be a Romeo at some point in their lives. We know we love you, we want to show you, but we are not always sure how to do it. Sometimes these efforts are hidden within such simple gestures as fixing the kitchen sink, or building a new shelf in the bathroom. Compared to long-stem roses, these offerings may not seem romantic to women, but they truly mean so much coming from your man.

8. Men Enjoy the Challenge of Getting Lost and Finding Our Way Back
This is a big one between many men and women, especially if you have been in a relationship for a long time. Men will inevitably get lost, refuse to ask for directions, and by the time they get where they were going, their partner is fuming with irritation. Relax, men have made it this far in life without anyone guiding us, so why start now. Men love the feeling of self-navigating out of a jam. Don't rob us of this proud moment, and we won't rob you of the time it takes to choose a perfect skirt to go with that blouse.

9. "Ok" is an Acceptable Answer to "How Was Your Day?"
Studies show men use the same amount of words per day as women -- we just don't always talk about the same things. At the end of the work day, the woman is anxious to tell him all about her it -- 'this happened, then that, she said this and I did that.' When she asks him about his day, he shrugs and says, "it was ok," and this drives her nuts. Remember, if we really have something to tell you, we will. Most men are reserved talkers. It's not that we don't want to share, it's just that we don't think we have anything important to say.

10. What You See Is What You Get
Most men have run into a relationship where his partner loved most everything about him, except for those one or two things that really drove her nuts. She may have believed that she could change him, or perhaps he even told her that he could change. Truth is, for most men, what you see is what you get. If you don't like what you see, then you're probably not going to like what you get! Don't think you can change us, because you probably can't.

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how to get over a break up faster...

Breaking up with someone who u love is a painful experience...

it takes time skill and a lot of effort to get over a relationship as well as find and develop romantic connection with a new person.

However the following rules can help u cope with the break up faster

1. Stop reminiscing on all the wonderful and great things you have done together with your ex. thinking about all the special times is like opening a wound that just started healing so don't do it.

2. Stop believing that the person who you have lost is one of a kind and that u can't meet any other person like him/her again. the new person will be different alright but he/she will also be very special and unique in his/her own way.

3. Don't try staying friends. it will hurt u more. what u need is out of sight out of mind strategy. this is until u have gotten over the person. once u don't feel any more pains about the break up then u can go back for a nice friendship with no strings attached.

4. Don't perceive relationship as investment and consider it a waste of time after a break up. the relationship is never a waste of time just because it ended in a break up. as long as u loved that person, it is never a waste of time. there is no insurance against break up. just take it as life's experience.

5. There is nothing anybody can say or do that will make u get over a break up in a second. it takes time to get over a break up. it is a process but u will get over it cos everybody does. at the end of the day, you will get a better and stronger relationship where you will love and will be loved better than your previous relationship.

Thank you..