Saturday, January 22, 2011

5 reasons he may take you back-By Alina Mikos

Just because men are generally less verbal about their feelings than women doesn’t mean they don’t feel just as deeply. If you’ve hurt him by cheating, you’ve got to be prepared that he may never take you back. As your actions have broken his trust, it will be up to him – and his capacity to forgive – as to whether or not you two ever get back together. Some people just cannot reopen their hearts after a deceit. With men, when a woman cheats, it not only betrays his trust, but challenges his confidence and manhood. At best, you will probably need to “eat crow” before he’ll let you into his heart again. Let’s look at a few reasons he may decide to give your relationship another shot.
1. His Great Love for You
If the two of you had something really special that you’ve both put a lot of time and love into, he may consider forgiving you and moving on. Each person in every relationship makes mistakes – it’s deciding whether your love and relationship is stronger and more important than the mistakes that keep two people together. He may conclude that he loves you in spite of this and agree to move forward. Once. If you’re a repeat offender and he keeps taking you back, the two of you are in an unhealthy and destructive relationship and need to admit to the fact that you are not good for one another.
2. Your Genuine Remorse
Was it a mistake? Do you feel awful and repentant about it? Communicating this to him will go a long way towards healing the rift you’ve caused. If you are disingenuous, he will most likely sense this and turn his back on you for good. But by being sorry and regretful, you open up the possibility of him forgiving you after he has taken time to lick his wounds and think things over. If he senses that you are purposefully careless with his trust and his heart, don’t expect any second chances in this millennia.
3. The Circumstance
The weight of the blow of infidelity may be slightly diminished depending upon the circumstances. A man may forgive a severe slip-up of this nature if he’s certain she was, say, “completely drunk and toasted.” The “it just happened” scenario plays out better than the premeditated affair that went on for months. Your reason and explanation for the affair can affect the outcome of his decision as well. If you were looking for companionship, for example, and he had been away frequently, he may be open-minded enough to try couples counseling to resolve your relationship issues. The same may go for cheating related to your sex lives. If the two of you haven’t been intimate in awhile, he may agree to sex therapy in an attempt to fix things.
4. He Can Forgive and Move On
The capacity for forgiveness varies from person to person, and is often contingent upon the offense. Breaking someone’s trust is one of the bigger blunders a person can make in any relationship, and the reality is that they may not get over it. If you are so lucky as to have found a guy who can forgive and forget, then you may count your many blessings. If he knows himself and has come to terms with the event and his feelings, then he may be able to move beyond your indiscretion. But he has to make that decision, and you cannot make it for him, no matter how much you may beg or apologize. He’ll know whether this is something he can make peace with or not.
5. He Can See That You’ve Changed
If you can prove to him that you are not the person you were that made the decision to betray his trust in that way, he may decide to open up to you again. He has to believe this, so you will have to prove it to him in your own way. He needs to feel secure in the fact that this will never happen again, and convincing him that you are a better, more mature person, will go a long way towards him trusting you again with his heart

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