top ten lies men tell...

A new survey by OnePole, shows how much lying both men and women do. Women tell an average of 728 lies per year, while men ride the line of over 1,090! If you think all these lies weigh heavily on his guilty conscience, 30 percent deliver them ease and comfort. Here are the top 10 lies he could be dishing out, and what you can do about them:

1. "I didn't have much to drink"
The number one lie told by men is how much they have had to drink. This is more of a lie to themselves than anyone else. An inebriated man is not good at fibbing. It can become a potentially serious problem if he lies about it too often. Wait until he regains sobriety to discuss any concerns about his behavior.

2. "Nothing's wrong, I'm Fine"
Men are taught to not be emotional beings. If he's sad, he's fine, if depressed, he's still fine. It can get awfully lonely for a man going through a difficult time. He feels as if there is nobody he can turn to. This is why it's important he knows someone is there for him. Keep in mind, it's easier for him to express anger when he's vulnerable, so give him space and let him come to you once he's ready.

3. "My battery died," "I didn't know you called"
It is entirely possible for these events to take place, but if these types of circumstances happen too often, they are probably more than just circumstance. Generally these lies are designed to cover up the fact that he's screening his calls, and you're no longer on his priority list. This can be a sign that a man is losing interest or falling out of love. Back off, and give him some space to realize he misses you.

4. "I don't care"
Yes, he does. Men desperately seek the approval of their partner. When faced with the prospects of criticism, blame, and the disappointment of a partner, a man may wall himself off by denying the importance of the relationship. This is the cue to pull back and express negative feelings with sensitivity. Men can handle "I feel" or "I need," much better than they can, "you are" or "you always."

5. "It wasn't expensive"
Women have expensive tastes, but men are just as guilty when it comes to their toys and vanity. Men pride themselves in being responsible with money, so when they buy something reckless, they lie to avoid the guilt of irresponsibility. Based on studies, men are much more susceptible to purchase expensive items for the purpose of deceiving others into thinking they are something they're not.

6. "I'm on my way," "I was stuck in traffic"
When a man is less than excited to be somewhere, these lies can add 20 to 40 minutes of free time to his schedule. This form of passive aggression spites his partner since he's showing up late, while hiding his contempt behind what he considers a plausible excuse. Instead of complaining that he's always late, try letting him know when (and why) it's really important for him to be on time.

7. "I didn't forget"
Men know the punitive damages of forgetting a birthday or anniversary. When faced with this transgression he will deny it, excuse himself quietly, drive to the nearest grocery store, and buy the biggest bouquet of flowers he can. Men don't understand the importance of remembering key relationship moments, so ambush his lies by communicating expectations openly and clearly.

8. "I'd never get plastic surgery"
Men are actually just as vain as women. In a 2007 survey, it was found that 17 percent of men had performed some sort of cosmetic surgery, whether hair transplant or botox injections. It's an increase of 5 and 21 percent, respectively, compared to just a few decades ago.

9. "I understand"
Men want to understand, but often their communication style differs so much they form a wedge between their partner. If he says he understands, make sure your needs have been explained with action-type words, rather than symbolic inference. For example, men will understand the phrase, "I want you to grab and kiss me more often," much more than, "I need more romance."

10. "I'm not married," "My wife and I are separated"
Cheating among married men is a tricky proposition. His real trick is to capture his pursued sex object's confidence, making her think she's about to get a good man -- when in fact she's only getting a cheating husband. Never believe a married man who makes these types of statements or promises. If he's a cheater, he's also a liar!

todayy's Print

150 Northern Leaders Insist on 2011 Presidency

In a deft move to counter the alleged ambition of Presi-dent Goodluck Jonathan in 2011, no fewer than 150 top politicians from the North converged on Abuja last night to strategise on how to enforce the contentious zoning of presidency to the North.
The leaders insisted that the North should produce the President in 2011 based on the Peoples Democratic Party (PDP) zoning arrangement, which they claimed had ceded power to the region till 2015.
They, however, said the meeting was not targeted against any individual, apparently referring to President Jonathan.
In attendance at the meeting among others were former military President Ibrahim Babangida, former Vice-President Atiku Abubakar, National Security Adviser, General Aliyu Gusau, Mallam Adamu Ciroma, Gen. David Jemibewon, Gen. Mohammed Magoro, Air Cmdr. Hamza Abdullahi and former PDP Chairman Audu Ogbeh.

THISDAY gathered that only one agenda was up for deliberation at the meeting, and it centred on how the North will reclaim power and keep it till 2015.
A sub-issue at the meeting was how the North will negotiate with other regions to ensure that the “gentleman's agreement” is respected.
At the end of the meeting, the leaders set up three committees to work on the contact and mobilization of other zones and stakeholders in the country to back their position.
Proponents of zoning claimed that former President Olusegun Obasanjo had done the South’s two terms of eight years based on the agreement and that the North is expected to produce the president for eight years till 2015, notwithstanding the death of President Umaru Musa Yar’Adua on May 6, 2010 after three years on the saddle.
Yesterday’s parley was the first time the pro-zoning forces would make public their meetings. There have been reported cases of similar meetings in some parts of the North to prefect plans on how to stop Jonathan’s aspiration.
The meeting, which held at the Shehu Musa Yar’Adua Centre, Abuja, started around 8 pm and was attended by five delegates from each of the 19 states of the North.
At the end of the meeting at about 11.20pm, former Senate President Prof. Iyorcha Ayu flanked by Babangida and Atiku addressed the press.
Ayu said yesterday's meeting was not targeted against any individual or zone but that it is an effort at strengthening national cohesion and peace.
He said no fewer than 150 political leaders from the North were at the meeting.
According to him, the aim is to prevail on concerned individuals and groups to respect the agreed template on zoning.
He said three committees were constituted to among other things reach out to the other geopolitical zones for "mobilisation."
The committees will be chaired by Ciroma, Magaji Dambatta and Prof. Ignatius Ayua.
On the issue of consensus candidate, he said "it is too premature to speak on that."
When asked if the agenda of the meeting is to pave the way for the emergence of a Northern candidate, he queried, “what is wrong with that,” adding “after all, the person who was president between 1999 to 2007 was not a Northerner.”
President Jonathan in an interview with CNN’s Christine Amanpour during his visit to the United States in April had refused to categorically rule himself out of the 2011 race.
Since then some politicians in the North have been strategising on how to stop the president’s alleged ambition.
One of the strategies is to impress it on Jonathan that the zoning formula should be respected.
But recently prominent leaders of the South-south had moved to back Jonathan, saying they would mobilise the whole of the South and North for him.
Various groups have also continued to advocate for Jonathan presidency in 2011.
They point to the manner of his emergence and the fact that he enjoys global acceptance as president.
Jonathan has, however, said he is committed to conducting a free and fair election.
His appointment of Professor Attahiru Jega as INEC chairman-designate is seen as a step in this direction.
Others at yesterday’ meeting included Alhaji Lawal Kaita, Alhaji Saleh Hassan, Alhaji Nuhu Aliyu, Mohammed Goni, MD Yusuf, Senator Maitama Bello Yusuf, Jibrin Maigari, Ibrahim Isa Kaita, Sulieman Isyaku, Ezekiel Ibrahim, Yahaya Kwande, Shaba Lafiagi, Patrick Adaba and Bello Kurfi.
Others were Sen. Mohammed Ahmed, Sen. Zainab Kure, Senator Iyorchia Ayu, lliya Gada and Alhaji Salisu Ibrahim


PDP NEC ratifies Nwodo as chairman
•Says: ‘Party has lost its goodwill’

[cid:image001.gif@01CB0EB7.C842B4D0]

Dr. Nwodo



After weeks of sustained suspense , the National Executive Council (NEC) of the Peoples Democratic Party (PDP) yesterday ratified the nomination of its former National Secretary, Chief Okwesilieze Nwodo as the new National Chairman.

The former national chairman, Prince Vincent Ogbulafor, resigned from the position after he was charged with corruption by the Independent Corrupt Practices and other Related Offences Commission (ICPC).
Nwodo had earlier been nominated by the PDP caucus at its meeting held at the Presidential Villa with President Goodluck Jonathan, Chairman of the PDP, Board of Trustees, (BOT) and former President, chief Olusegun Obasanjo, Senate President David Mark, in attendance.

The announcement of Nwodo as chairman, was delayed to ensure compliance with the party’s constitution, which stipulates that a new entrant to the PDP , can only seek party office, provided he was given a waiver. Before his formal announcement yesterday, the Enugu State chapter of the party had given Nwodo a waiver while the South-East zone of the party also endorsed it and sent same to the PDP’s National Working Committee (NWC), in accordance with the party’s constitution. The new National Chairman returned to the party last year, after a two-year romance with the Action Congress (AC).

Speaking at the national secretariat , venue of the event yesterday, President Jonathan called on the leadership of the party to ensure that internal democracy was restored in the PDP, to ensure amity.
The President cautioned against imposition of aspirants in the party.

“I want to plead with the party that especially as the elections are coming, one of the areas we normally have problems is the issue of internal democracy. That this time around, as a party and a nation, we had to do things in a way that would not bring problems for us. So, in all the areas that we used to have irritations, we should avoid it and work together and see that the next candidates we present for all levels of election from the least , the councillorship to the highest, the presidency, should be candidates selected by the people.

The party had to set up a machinery to make sure that we resolve at least most of these crises before the elections. I have mentioned severally that on my own part and on the part of the government, we will make sure that the votes of Nigerians count for the final election.” The President also admonished PDP members to work as a team, submitting that lack of team spirit was what cost the party victory in Anambra State.

“Let us acknowledge the fact that one of us must always emerge as candidate to fly the party’s flag in a contest. In Anambra, PDP had the votes, but APGA won the election. If we aggregate the votes of PDP members who defected to other parties, we had the votes,” Jonathan observed. Speaking after his ratification, Dr Nwodo assured party leaders at the gathering that the days of imposition were over in PDP.

“Our process of choosing our candidates must once again be subjected to the dictates of our party’s constitution and the extant rules… we must return the choice of our candidates to the people and not to individual godfathers and godmothers. It is only by this time honoured democratic process that we can present to the Nigerian people for elective offices, quality candidates that are imbued with the patriotic vision of our party.

“The days of imposition of candidates by the PDP, hoping to hoist such leaders on the people of Nigeria through rigged elections are over and over forever. Our members aspiring to carry our banner in future elections must start now to market themselves and canvass their programmes aggressively to our party members and to the Nigerian electorate’’, Nwodo submitted.

The new chairman also lamented that over the years PDP had squandered its goodwill.
“We rode to power on the massive support and enormous goodwill of the Nigerian people. Over the years, we have squandered it to the point that even some of our members are no longer proud to be identified as PDP members and other Nigerians say that the problem of Nigeria is the PDP,’’ Nwodo noted


Celebrating Nigeria at 50

[cid:image002.gif@01CB0EB8.DBFD8F30]



Come October 1, Nigeria will add one more feather to her cap as the nation marks its golden jubilee. This year's anniversary, it seems, will be like no other before it since the country got her independence from Great Britain in 1960. In this connection, the Federal Government has been making elaborate plans to make the anniversary a remarkable event.

Understandably, some individuals, groups, and in particular, the Nigeria Labour Congress (NLC) have criticized some aspects of the anniversary plans, especially the financial. No doubt, organized Labour may have expressed the feelings of some Nigerians who are calling for a low-key celebration, devoid of pomp and circumstance.

However, the fact that our country is still together despite many fault lines and differences that could have torn us irretrievably apart is worth celebrating. Moreover, it is in line with the vision and aspirations of our elder statesmen who championed the quest for nationhood, and got it without shedding blood.

More importantly, we should not gloss over the fact that 50 years represents a milestone, a threshold in any nation's history. The enduring significance of the anniversary will find its true meaning if it is used as a platform for deep reflection, a period of soul-searching on how far we have come collectively as a nation, what we have been able to achieve, our failures, pains and how to chart a new course for a better Nigeria.

Beyond the fireworks, the joy and clinking of glasses that come with this year's epochal event, we urge that this anniversary be used to provide the right pathway for cementing our unity and turning our weaknesses into strength.

More than at any other event, the forthcoming anniversary should be used to engender the spirit of nationalism among our different peoples. Let it also be another opportunity to find solutions to our nagging national problems.
Whether Nigeria as a nation has achieved much to warrant rolling out of the drums at 50 remains arguable. Nevertheless, we insist that our gains far outweigh our losses.

The enduring impact should be the opportunity it affords the citizens, especially the political leadership, to articulate our challenges and connect with the people and their aspirations. Therefore, the present administration should see the forthcoming jubilee as a veritable platform to walk the talk. Real action should take the place of promises. That is what the tempers of these challenging times demand. Government should strive to get its priorities right. Governance is a human enterprise, which makes sense only if it is focused on how to improve the fortunes of the people and make them have abiding faith in the nation. This has been one of the areas in which our successive governments have been found wanting.

We advise governments across the country to use this unique occasion to reflect on the challenges before them. Let them gauge public opinion, desires and demands, and direct their energies and resources towards fulfilling them. Attention should be focused on the different areas of our economy that need urgent attention. These include prudent management of resources, poverty alleviation and provision of gainful employment and infrastructure such as electricity, good roads and medical facilities.

The forthcoming anniversary should be used as an occasion to prioritize our needs against competing demands as a nation. If we fail to plan well, we unwittingly plan to fail. Our governments, at all levels, must not allow this to happen


Frail Nelson Mandela attends memorial service for great-granddaughter, 13, killed in a car crash

A sombre and frail Nelson Mandela attended the funeral for his 13-year-old great-granddaughter today, after she was killed in a car crash following the World Cup's opening concert.

The 91-year-old anti-apartheid icon leaned on a walking stick as he entered the brick chapel of the Johannesburg private school Zenani Mandela had attended.

Dressed in a black coat and wearing a corsage of pink roses, he took a front row pew after being ferried to the chapel door by golf buggy.

His great-granddaughter was a member of the choir, marimba club and drum corps of St Stithians College, where her funeral was held, and wanted to be a plastic surgeon. [cid:image003.jpg@01CB0EB8.DBFD8F30]

Loving family: Mandela is helped into the service, while Zenani's school friends hold flowers in her memory
[cid:image004.jpg@01CB0EB8.DBFD8F30]

Winnie Madikizela Mandela arrives with her daughter, Zindzi, right, for the funeral services for Zenani today. Zenani was her great granddaughter
[cid:image005.jpg@01CB0EB8.DBFD8F30]

Tragic: Zenani Mandela was killed in a car crash last week as she left the World Cup concert

A private burial was held earlier today, and the public were welcomed to the Methodist chapel service, with several hundred people attending, including an overflow crowd in a tent outside.

Mr Mandela's wife, Graca Machel, accompanied him. Also present was his ex-wife, Winnie Madikizela-Mandela, Zenani's great-grandmother, lawyer George Bizos, who had defended Mandela during the apartheid years, and Mandela's grandson, Mandla Mandela.

An anguished message was read during the service from Zenani's mother, Zoleka Mandela-Seakamela - the daughter of Zindzi Mandela, the former president's youngest child.

Mandela-Seakamela said she wished she had indulged her daughter more, allowing her to sleep in late and wear make-up.

'I should have given you more hugs, more kisses,' Mandela-Seakamela said.

'If I did all this, would you come back to me, if only for a few seconds?'

If there were tears, there was also laughter Zenani was remembered as a playful, precocious child who liked Hannah Montana and the World Cup anthem 'Waka Waka'.

Zweli Hlongwane, grandfather to the teenager, remembered the girl asking for a drum kit a few days before her death.

She already played the saxophone and the piano.

She was 'always looking for new challenges in life,' Hlongwane said.

The teenager's classmates, dressed in school blazers, and other mourners each held a single white rose.
[cid:image006.jpg@01CB0EB8.DBFD8F30]

Tribute: Mandla Mandela pays tribute to the schoolgirl, who was described as a 'natural star'
[cid:image007.jpg@01CB0EB8.DBFD8F30]

Grief: Mandela's daughter Zenani, a great-aunt of the 13-year-old, hugs a fellow mourner during the service at the St Stithians College Chapel in Sandton, north of Johannesburg

They stood to sing Amazing Grace as the funeral began before a montage of family portraits, including one of Zenani hugging her famous great-grandfather, was projected on a screen as a recording of Lean On Me played.

Other condolence messages were read out that described her as a 'natural born star' who loved music.

Supermodel Naomi Campbell said in a video message that she considered Zenani a goddaughter and remembered playing with the child.

'I was truly blessed to have been able to say that we walked and laughed and got to play dress-up,' she said. 'She will remain in my heart forever.'

Zenani was killed two days after her 13th birthday, after attending a World Cup kick-off concert. She was one of Mandela's nine great-grandchildren.

Police say a close family friend who was driving the car that crashed on a highway on June 10 could be charged with drink-driving and homicide.

After her death, Mr Mandela decided not to make a rare public appearance at the tournament's opening ceremony and first game, as had been planned.
[cid:image008.jpg@01CB0EB8.DBFD8F30]

Strength: Mandela waves as he leaves the chapel in a golf buggy with his wife Graca Machel

France 0 Mexico 2: Javier Hernandez and Cuauhtemoc Blanco fire as El Tri prove too hot for Les Bleus

New Manchester United signing Javier Hernandez inspired Mexico to a superb win over a poor France side last night, leaving the 2006 World Cup finalists on the brink of early elimination.

Hernandez came off the bench to devastating effect, scoring the game’s all-important opener in the 64th minute.

Another substitute, Cuauhtemoc Blanco, heaped more misery on the bedraggled French by converting a penalty at the grand old age of 37 years and 151 days.
[cid:image009.jpg@01CB0EB8.DBFD8F30]

Floored: Hugo Lloris can only look despairingly as Javier Hernandez breaks the deadlock

Mexico thoroughly deserved their win. The Central Americans missed a host of chances before Hernandez supplied the required composure, racing on to a perfectly timed pass from new skipper Rafael Marquez, jinking past Hugo Lloris and slotting into the empty net.

The strike sparked an almighty outpouring of joy, as Mexico’s players and coaching staff mobbed the 22-year-old scorer. Hernandez, who will complete his move from Chivas to United when he receives a work permit in July, described it as a moment of ‘pure happiness’.
[cid:image010.jpg@01CB0EB8.DBFD8F30]

Mexican rave: Hernandez is mobbed by team-mates

The striker, whose grandfather scored against France at the 1954 World Cup, added: ‘It was such a big goal for the team and the whole country. It took a long time in coming so when I scored it, everyone was thrilled.’

Mexico’s joy contrasted sharply with the dejection of France coach Raymond Domenech, who incorrectly claimed Hernandez’s goal should have been disallowed for offside.

‘All I can say is that the goal which clinched the game shouldn’t have counted,’ said Domenech.

Few will have sympathy with France’s outgoing boss, given the manner in which the former world champions reached South Africa, helped by Thierry Henry’s blatant handball to set up a play-off goal which denied Ireland.
[cid:image011.jpg@01CB0EB8.DBFD8F30]

What goes around...: A fan makes reference to the furore over France qualifying against Ireland

The loss leaves France bottom of Group A with one point and without a goal, while Mexico join Uruguay at the top with four points.

A draw between those two in the last game would seal the elimination of France. Domenech’s decision to recall Chelsea winger Florent Malouda did not spark an improvement, as his incoherent team failed to create openings for the second game running.
[cid:image012.jpg@01CB0EB8.DBFD8F30]

Zut alors! France contemplate an early World Cup exit

MATCH FACTS

FRANCE (4-2-3-1): Lloris 5; Sagna 4,
Gallas 4, Abidal 3, Evra 4; Toulalan 5,
Diaby 4; Govou 3 (Valbuena 69min, 5),
Ribery 5, Malouda 6; Anelka 3
(Gignac 45, 5).
Booked: Toulalan, Abidal.

MEXICO (4-3-3): Perez 6; Osorio 6,
Moreno 6, Rodriguez 7, Salcido 7;
Juarez 6 (Hernandez 55, 7), Marquez 8,
Torrado 7; Dos Santos 7, Franco 6
(Blanco 62, 7), Vela 5 (Barrera 31, 6).
Booked: Franco, Juarez, Moreno,
Rodriguez.

Man of the match: Rafael Marquez.
Referee: Khalil Al Ghamdi (S Arabia).

Mexico might have opened the scoring inside eight minutes as Carlos Vela sprinted clear of Arsenal teammate William Gallas only to blast over. Guillermo Franco and Giovani dos Santos also struck efforts off target and Carlos Salcido forced Lloris into a sharp save.

The European giants enjoyed plenty of possession but did little with it. They continue to resemble a collection of individuals rather than a team, rarely combining in the final third.

Indeed, it took them 45 minutes to conjure a shot on target and even then, Nicolas Anelka’s weak effort did not trouble Oscar Perez.

Anelka was hauled off for Andre-Pierre Gignac at the break, yet it was Mexico’s substitutes who proved decisive.
[cid:image013.jpg@01CB0EB8.DBFD8F30]

Doubling up: Cuauhtemoc Blanco beats Lloris from twelve yards

After Hernandez’s goal, Pablo Barrera, who had replaced the injured Vela, was felled by the clumsy Eric Abidal. Blanco easily beat Lloris from the spot.

Javier Aguirre was generous enough to describe the game as ‘very tight’, the Mexico coach adding: ‘We were stronger than France in the second half

WORLD CUP 2010: Greece 2 Nigeria 1: Vassilis Torosidis' second-half strike condemns 10-man Nigeria to defeat


Whatever happens for the rest of this slowly improving World Cup, little will match for
absurdity yesterday’s sight of Nigeria goalkeeper Vincent Enyeama being helped off the field in tears just as he was announced man of the match.

If Nigeria exit after the group stage, it will be hard to decide who to blame. Enyeama for the dreadful error that let Greece win or Sani Kaita for the naive foul that got him sent off when the Africans were leading in the first half.
[cid:image014.jpg@01CB0EB8.DBFD8F30]

Greek god: Vassilis Torosidis scores in the second half to give Greece the win

How peculiar, though, that FIFA’s online audience should vote Enyeama the star only moments after he had essentially handed over the chance to progress.

The Hapoel Tel Aviv keeper made some good saves in this terrific game in
Bloemfontein, including a dive left to stop a Georgios Samaras header and a plunge
right to deny Theofanis Gekas — both made when it was 1-1.

But in spooning a low drive from Alexandros Tziolis into the path of Vasileios Torosidis with 19 minutes left, he took his side to the brink of elimination.
[cid:image015.jpg@01CB0EB8.DBFD8F30]

Seeing red: Sani Kaita covers his face after being sent off

With the usual discussion of the adidas ball later, Enyeama saw his chance.

‘If you watch the TV replays you will see it swerving,’ he said. ‘But there is nothing we can do about it. It is the ball that we have got, the ball that FIFA gave us. The man-of-the-match award means nothing now.’

After an early 40-yard Kalu Uche free-kick made a fool of Greek goalkeeper Alexandros
Tzorvas, Nigeria looked set to send Greece home.
[cid:image016.jpg@01CB0EB8.DBFD8F30]

Perfect start: Kalu Uche opens the scoring for Nigeria in the first half

MATCH FACTS

Greece (4-3-3): Tzorvas 5; Vyntra 6, Papastathopoulos 6 (Samaras 37min, 6), Papadopoulos 7, Kyrgiakos 6; Tziolis 6, Katsouranis 8, Torosidis 7; Salpingidis 7, Gekas 6 (Ninis 79), Karagounis 6.
Booked: Papastathopoulos, Tziolis, Samaras.
Nigeria (4-4-2): Enyeama 6; Odiah 6, Yobo 6, Shittu 7, Taiwo 6 (Echiejile 55, 6);
Kaita 4, Haruna 5, Etuhu 7, Uche 7; Odemwingie 6 (Ogbuke Obasi 45, 6), Yakubu 6.
Booked: Ogbuke Obasi. Sent off: Kaita.
Man of the match: Konstantinos Katsouranis.
Referee: Oscar Ruiz (Colombia).

But when Kaita recklessly kicked at Torosidis, the game changed. The Greek defender, later to score the winning goal, had made a meal of things but that did not excuse Kaita’s red card.

With an extra man, Greece came to life, as Dimitrios Salpingidis scored their first World Cup goal when his shot struck Nigeria’s Lukman Haruna and flew into the net.

Both teams then looked for a win that would give them an advantage ahead of the final group games.

Nigeria wasted their big chance when substitute Chinedu Ogbuke Obasi missed an open goal — and then Enyeama made his contribution.

Man of the match? For whom

WORLD CUP 2010: There's plenty of brotherly love in South Africa! Sportsmail takes a look at how the tournament has become a family affair


Is South Africa 2010 the most nepotistic in World Cup history? The evidence would suggest so.

It's not a new phenomenon. We’re well versed in the history of the De Boers, the Van der Kerkhofs, the Muhrens and the Koemans. Not to mention the Charltons and the, erm, Nevilles.
Enlarge [cid:image017.jpg@01CB0EB8.DBFD8F30]

Three's a crowd: Joy for the Wilson family as the three brothers - Wilson, Jhony and Jerry - made World Cup history in South Africa

The family connection dates back to the very first World Cup match in Montevideo in 1930, when brothers Manuel and Felipe Rosas were part of the Mexico side beaten 4-1 by France.

But the difference here is there are ten other sets of relatives at this tournament in South Africa...

Kolo and Yaya Toure (Ivory Coast)

Regular team-mates on the international stage, Kolo and Yaya could well be turning out for the same club team, soon.

Yaya really came to the fore last year as the holding midfielder for Barcelona as the Catalans went on a cup-winning tour of Spain and Europe. Kolo swapped the beautiful game at Arsenal for monied variety at Eastlands.
[cid:image018.jpg@01CB0EB8.DBFD8F30]

This is big bro: Kolo and Yaya in action with Ivory Coast and could be lining up alongside each other with Manchester City next season

And, if the reports are to be believed Roberto Mancini will be doubling his quota of Toure’s at Manchester City with a £25million bid after the finals.

Kevin-Prince and Jerome Boateng (Ghana and Germany)

FA Cup runner up with Portsmouth, Kevin-Prince made a name for himself in the final by ruling out Germany captain Michael Ballack with a bone-crunching tackle.
[cid:image019.jpg@01CB0EB8.DBFD8F30]
[cid:image020.jpg@01CB0EB8.DBFD8F30]

Family feud: Kevin-Prince and his brother Jerome may well come face-to-face in the Ghana v Germany clash

Kevin-Prince and Manchester City-bound Jerome could go head-to-head when Ghana (KP's team) meet his half brother's Germany (Jerome's) next Wednesday. Got that?

Wilson, Jhony and Jerry Palacios (Honduras)

Now here’s a first - a trio of brothers at the World Cup finals. And one very proud mother. Initially it was only Wilson and Jhony who made it into the squad.

But Jerry was called up at the last minute after midfielder Julio Cesar de Leon, who has 77 caps, had to pull out with a thigh injury.
[cid:image021.jpg@01CB0EB8.DBFD8F30]

Three's a crowd: Joy for the Wilson family as a triumvirate of brothers made World Cup history in South Africa

Striker Jerry, 28, is with Chinese club Hangzhou Greentown, Wilson, 25, anchors the midfield for Tottenham Hotspur and 23-year-old defender Jhony plays for Olimpia in Honduras.

Bob and Michael Bradley (USA)

Bradley junior plies his trade in Germany with Borussia Monchengladbach. A talented midfielder, his talents were recognised at an early age…by his dad, Bob.
[cid:image022.jpg@01CB0EB8.DBFD8F30]

That's my boy: USA coach Bob Bradley oversees son Michael in training

Michael became the youngest-ever player to be sold by MLS when he joined Dutch outfit Heerenveen in January 2006. And he made his World Cup bow during the 1-1 draw with England.

Vladimir and Vladimir Weiss (Slovakia)

Manchester City rising star Vladimir Weiss made his bow for Slovakia in August last year and featured in the World Cup clash against New Zealand. Selected by his head coach and dad, and watched by his grandfather.

All three rather unimaginatively have the same name, with the older pair turning out for Czechoslovakia in their playing days.

Edgar and Diego Barreto (Paraguay)

Edgar (midfielder) and his brother Diego (goalkeeper) are likely to enjoy very different experiences in South Africa.
[cid:image023.jpg@01CB0EB8.DBFD8F30]

Brother beyond: Paraguay's Diego Barreto (left) and his sibling Edgar

Edgar, 25, is currently with Atalanta in Italy and will feature regularly for his country, but don't expect to see much of Diego. The 28-year-old Cerro Porteno stopper is third choice to line up as Paraguay goalkeeper.

Bert van Marwijk and Mark van Bommel (Holland)

Van Bommel, the Bayern Munich captain, can point to his fantastic club record this season as the factor for him earning a place in South Africa.

Certainly not the fact that his his marriage to Andra van Marwijk has made national manager Bert his father-in-law . Oh, no.

Diego Maradona and Sergio Aguero (Argentina)

Maradona failed to show any loyalty to Sergio Aguero - father of his grandson - when Argentina played Nigeria in their Group B opener.
[cid:image024.jpg@01CB0EB8.DBFD8F30]

I know how it's done: Maradona hands his Aguero some last minute advice - maybe on how to bring up his grandson

Aguero was in red-hot form with Atletico Madrid last season, bagging 20 goals and a further 11 assists. But fell foul of his international boss’s erratic selection process and warmed the bench during his country’s opening game.

Samir and Jasmin Handanovic (Slovenia)

Slovenia goalkeeper Samir Handanovic is ahead of fellow stopper and cousin Jasmin in the pecking order. Which probably causes real headaches at family gatherings.

Arguments over who gets more chips or the last can of pop will forever be decided by Samir’s seniority, causing Jasmin to sulk. Or at least that’s how we imagine it.

Rigobert and Alex Song (Cameroon)

While the reports as to how old Rigobert actually is have failed to nail down a concrete answer, there’s no doubt the senior Song has a wealth of talent at this competition.

The former West Ham defender is into his fourth finals whereas his cousin Alex is playing in just his first.
[cid:image025.jpg@01CB0EB8.DBFD8F30]
[cid:image026.jpg@01CB0EB8.DBFD8F30]

On Song: Cousins Rigobert and Alex are on duty for Cameroon in South Africa


[cid:image90204b.jpg@3bdd43f4.558440cb]
Hammed Olaonipekun
MARKETING
Retail Banking
143, AKARIGBO STREET, IJOKUN, SHAGAMU
Ogun
[cid:imageaaa3a1.gif@7ca85b8b.0c46451a]: +234-37-783-066
[cid:image8f3751.gif@451f10bd.3c1d4a65]: +234-703-005-7966
[cid:imagea32da8.gif@d2aeac52.eac84e05]: HammedOlaonipekun@bankphb.com

Nigeria's Most Innovative Bank

HOW TO SPOT A PLAYER!!!

Spotting a player isn't always an easy task, especially while you're under their spell. The easiest way is to break down their behaviors in five important aspects of starting a new relationship: the first meeting, early communication, getting to know them, dating style, and finally their approach to making time for the relationship.

What is a true player? These are the people who exhibit at least three out of the five of following signs. Even one of these signs should be a warning flag, but you might want to give them the benefit of the doubt, until further indicators point you towards the door. Ultimately, a player is using these tactics to avoid what they want least ... a stable relationship.

The First Meeting
Too Confident- A player has gotten where they are from being good at what they do. This alone drives an incredible amount of confidence in their approach. Women love confident men, and male players take advantage of this to its fullest. While some people are just naturally more confident, remember, one of the signs of interest in a potential partner, is excitement and nervousness. This includes mirroring, which is an unconscious act at mimicking the other person to appear approachable and on their same level. The player does not want to be on your level, they want to be in control. They will get right up close and personal. They are very calculated, smooth, direct, and will rarely make a nervous mistake.

Early Communication
Probing- When an individual is truly interested in getting to know someone, they will ask genuine questions about them. The player, on the other hand, engages on what is more like probing. They may appear to be trying to get to know the person, but they are really only trying to gain pertinent information as to what the person is looking for in a mate. The idea is to bypass all the time it would normally take that person to decide if they really were interested in pursuing a relationship (weighing both their good and bad sides), so they can jump to the top of the list. These questions will be masked in the form of what they like in a partner, what they did not like about their last relationship, what kind of clothes they prefer on a man/woman, etc.

Getting to Know Them
Mystery Men- A little mystery is good, but too much should be a wake-up call. We shouldn't share everything with a potential mate, but if you don't known anything substantive about them, chances are they're hiding something. Examples include never being invited to their home/apartment, rarely being seen in public (especially during the day), checking their phone often (which is obviously set on 'quiet' mode), taking private phone calls, and having a slew of what they call "stalkers," who won't leave them alone. These are all signs that they may be living a second life (cheating, affair, etc.) apart from your budding romance.

Dating Style
Hot & Cold- The hot-and-cold dating style starts off wonderfully. The person is always up for going out, they can't wait to see you, and they are often nauseatingly romantic early in the game ("I can't believe how wonderful you are," "I think I love you," "You're my soulmate"). But once you give them the sign that they are starting to win you over, they disappear for a few days/weeks without much contact. The whole idea is to keep you there with as little effort as possible. They have a lot of people they're stringing along, so they have to conserve energy. Players love the chase, but get bored of the conquered. They are all talk and no action ("we should do this," "I want to take you here"), but they never follow through.

Making Time
Flighty- The player is hard to hold to any plans. They may say they prefer to be spontaneous -- in reality, they are always weighing their best options before they commit. They may have meetings come up, relatives die, an important work function overseas, or some other emergency that will take them away for several days or weeks at a time. During these times, they will have limited contact, such as a minimal phone signal, odd working hours, only access to e-mail, etc. While emergencies can and do come up, players use these exclusively to concentrate on new relationships, while storing their ones away for a rainy day.

Morning Piss: Is Obama "Ill-Equipped," as Former White House Staffer Claims?

Morning Piss: Is Obama "Ill-Equipped," as Former White House Staffer Claims?

10 things men wish women knew!!!!!!

1. Confidence is Sexier Than the Sports Illustrated Swimsuit Issue
How a woman sees herself is ultimately how the man will see her. Despite how media and commercialism tries to bend this rule, attraction is only partially about a woman's physical appearance. Studies have shown time and again that men's attraction to women is a combination of personality, confidence and body language. In other words, feeling sexy is being sexy!

2. Leave us Alone in the Bathroom
I won't bother you if you don't bother me. This is how most men think about the bathroom. Men generally dislike being disrupted in the bathroom, no matter what they are doing. They do not want to be asked how their day was, or if they are going "number two." In addition, most men prefer their partner to close the door when they are doing their own business.

3. Pornography is not a Replacement for Sex With You
Pornography and self-gratification are very common among men. So common, in fact, that the three-fourths of men who admit to it in studies could very well be the only ones telling the truth. As long as the pornography is not a crutch for a troubled relationship, it is a harmless act. If you are concerned about his involvement with porn, the best approach is to talk about it with an open mind, rather than to make accusations. Set boundaries if you must, but a closet porn-watcher is much more unhealthy than one who is open about it with his partner.

4. The Fastest Way to a Man's Heart Really is Through His Stomach
Men love being cooked for, which has absolutely nothing to do with the stereotype of the barefoot and pregnant wife slaving away over a hot stove while he's off doing men's work. It's the 21st century, and studies show men are doing more of the cooking than ever before. Men, however, continue to enjoy the privilege of a home-cooked meal. In fact, Australian research shows men sometimes prefer good food to sex. Good cooking may very well lead to the last headache you'll ever need to fake.

5. We Love the Sound of Your Voice in the Bedroom
You don't have to go overboard -- just let him know he's on the right track. Unless, of course, he isn't, then that is a whole different discussion. Many men base their success, in the moment, on their partners' verbal and visual cues. Studies have shown that men are much more likely to orgasm during their partners' bouts of verbal ecstasy than while quiet. Your voice may be all the Viagra he will ever need.

6. Men Aren't Sexoholics, We Just Need to Feel Wanted
While sex is a biological draw in men, it is also an emotional one. Sex is much more than just biology to a man, it is an outlying force which rates his overall satisfaction with life. Men need to feel wanted, and regular sex offers him a confidence that will carry over into everything he does. When he is rejected from sex, he feels rejected as a partner, husband and provider.

7. We Like the Idea of Romance, We Just Don't Always Know What to do
Most men have tried to be a Romeo at some point in their lives. We know we love you, we want to show you, but we are not always sure how to do it. Sometimes these efforts are hidden within such simple gestures as fixing the kitchen sink, or building a new shelf in the bathroom. Compared to long-stem roses, these offerings may not seem romantic to women, but they truly mean so much coming from your man.

8. Men Enjoy the Challenge of Getting Lost and Finding Our Way Back
This is a big one between many men and women, especially if you have been in a relationship for a long time. Men will inevitably get lost, refuse to ask for directions, and by the time they get where they were going, their partner is fuming with irritation. Relax, men have made it this far in life without anyone guiding us, so why start now. Men love the feeling of self-navigating out of a jam. Don't rob us of this proud moment, and we won't rob you of the time it takes to choose a perfect skirt to go with that blouse.

9. "Ok" is an Acceptable Answer to "How Was Your Day?"
Studies show men use the same amount of words per day as women -- we just don't always talk about the same things. At the end of the work day, the woman is anxious to tell him all about her it -- 'this happened, then that, she said this and I did that.' When she asks him about his day, he shrugs and says, "it was ok," and this drives her nuts. Remember, if we really have something to tell you, we will. Most men are reserved talkers. It's not that we don't want to share, it's just that we don't think we have anything important to say.

10. What You See Is What You Get
Most men have run into a relationship where his partner loved most everything about him, except for those one or two things that really drove her nuts. She may have believed that she could change him, or perhaps he even told her that he could change. Truth is, for most men, what you see is what you get. If you don't like what you see, then you're probably not going to like what you get! Don't think you can change us, because you probably can't.

cute wedding picture

latest Couple in town They are so cute, Aint they? wedding1.jpg (34.58 KB, 600x400 ) wedding2.jpg (36.35 KB, 600x403 ) Report to moderator Logged

wedding7.jpg (37.2 KB, 600x400 )

wedding14.jpg (19.83 KB, 600x374 )

how to get over a break up faster...

Breaking up with someone who u love is a painful experience...

it takes time skill and a lot of effort to get over a relationship as well as find and develop romantic connection with a new person.

However the following rules can help u cope with the break up faster

1. Stop reminiscing on all the wonderful and great things you have done together with your ex. thinking about all the special times is like opening a wound that just started healing so don't do it.

2. Stop believing that the person who you have lost is one of a kind and that u can't meet any other person like him/her again. the new person will be different alright but he/she will also be very special and unique in his/her own way.

3. Don't try staying friends. it will hurt u more. what u need is out of sight out of mind strategy. this is until u have gotten over the person. once u don't feel any more pains about the break up then u can go back for a nice friendship with no strings attached.

4. Don't perceive relationship as investment and consider it a waste of time after a break up. the relationship is never a waste of time just because it ended in a break up. as long as u loved that person, it is never a waste of time. there is no insurance against break up. just take it as life's experience.

5. There is nothing anybody can say or do that will make u get over a break up in a second. it takes time to get over a break up. it is a process but u will get over it cos everybody does. at the end of the day, you will get a better and stronger relationship where you will love and will be loved better than your previous relationship.

Thank you..

Blame

Just because you've been wronged is no reason to do the wrong thing. In fact it is all the more reason to do the right thing. Just because there's someone to blame for your troubles does not mean that you can end your troubles by hurting that other person.

No matter who is to blame for your problems, you are responsible for them. Revenge may be entirely justified, but it will rarely solve the problem.

Just as time does not proceed backwards, you cannot right a wrong by committing another wrong. Though punishment is often an appropriate and positive step, it cannot undo what has already been done.

The energy you put into blaming others for your problems takes away from the energy you have available to effectively address those problems. Don't let the desire to assign blame detract you from making things right. You cannot move backwards, so put your energy into moving forward.

HUSH HUSH

i never needed you to be strong
i never needed you for pointing out my wrongs
i never needed pain, i neever needed strain
my love for you was strong enough you should have known

i never needed you for judgments
i never needed you to question what i spent
i never asked for help, i take care of myself
i dont know why you think you gotta hold on me

and its a little late for conversations
there isnt anything for you to say
and my eyes hurt, hands shiver
so look at me and listen to me

because i dont want to stay another minute
i dont want you to say a single word
hush hush hush hush
there is no other way, i get the final say

because i dont want to do this any longer
i dont want you, there's nothing left to say
hush hush hush hush
i've already spoken, our love is broken
baby hush hush

i never neeeded your corrections
on everything from how i act to what i say
i never needed words i never needed hurt
i never needed you to be there everyday

am sorry for the way i let go
on everything i wanted when u came along
but i aint never beaten, broken nor defeated
i know next to you is not where i belong

and its a little late for explanations
there isnt anything that you can do
and my eyes hurt hands shiver
so you will listen when i say

i dont want to stay another minute
i dont want you to say a single word
hush hush hush hush
there is no other way, i get the final say

i dont want to do this any longer
i dont want you, there's nothing left to say
hush hush hush hush
i've already spoken, our love is broken
baby hush hush

no more words
no more lies
no more crying
no more pain
no more hurt
no more trying
baby hush hush

SOMETHING TO REFLECT ON AS U APPROACH THE NEW YEAR

nteresting quote from the movie "Why did I get married?"

In most cases, especially in relationships, you will only get 80% of what you NEED and you will hardly get the other 20% that you WANT in your relationship.

There is always another person (man or women) that you will meet and that will offer you the other 20% which is lacking in your relationship that you WANT And believe me, 20% looks really good when you are not getting it at all in your current relationship.

But the problem is that you will always be tempted to leave that good 80% that you know you have, thinking that you will get something better with the other 20% that you WANT But as reality has proven, in most cases, you will always end up with having the 20% that you WANT and loosing the 80% that you really NEED and that you already had.

Be careful in deciding between what you WANT and NEED in your life.

Adultery happens when you start looking for what you don't have. "Wow, this girl in my office is a real looker. But it's not her Wynona Rider features that got me. I'm crazy about her because she's also understanding, intelligent, tender - so many things that my spouse is not"

Somewhere along the way, you'll find a woman or a man who will be more charming or sensitive. More alluring. More thoughtful. Richer. Have greater sex appeal. And you will find a woman or man who will need you and pursue you and go loco over you more than your spouse ever did.

Because no wife or husband is perfect. Because a spouse will only have 80% of what you're looking for.

So adultery takes place when a husband or wife looks for the missing 20%.

Let's say your wife is melancholic by nature.

You may find yourself drawn to the pretty clerk who has a cherry laugh no matter what she says:

"I broke my arm yesterday, Hahahaha . . .."

Or because your wife is a homebody in slippers and pajamas, smelling of garlic and fish oil, you may fall for a fresh-smelling young sales representative that visits your office in a sharp black blazer, high heels, and a red pencil-cut skirt Or because your husband is the quiet type, your heart may skip a beat when you meet an old college flame who has the makings of a talk show host.

But wait! That's only 20% of what you don't have.

Don't throw away the 80% that you already have!

That's not all. Add to your spouse's 80% the 100% that represents all the years that you have been with each other.

The storms you have weathered together. The unforgettable moments of sadness and joy as a couple.

The many adjustments you have made to love the other. The wealth of memories that you've accumulated as lovers.

Adultery happens when you start looking for what you don't have.

But faithfulness happens when you start thanking God for what you already have.

But I'm not just talking about marriage.

I'm talking about life!

About your jobs.

About your friends.

About your children.

About your lifestyles.

Are you like the economy airline passenger that perennially peeks through the door of the first class cabin, obsessed with what he's missing? "They have got more leg room! Oh my, their food is served in porcelain! Wow, their seats recline at an 80% angle and they've got personal videos!"

I guarantee you'll be miserable for the entire trip! Don't live your life like that. Forget about what the world says is first class. Do you know that there are many first class passengers who are miserable in first class - because they are not riding in a private Lear Jet?

The main message???

If you start appreciating what you have right now, wherever you are, you are first class!

20/80 or 80/20. Your life is yours, live it and determine your lot in life, you enjoy the decisions you made in your life.

Enjoy what you have because you're blessed.

BETRAYER OF TRUST

No matter the type of relationship, be it romantic, friendly, or between parent and child, an essential ingredient is trust. Trust defines every interaction in a relationship, it builds intimacy and it strengthens bonds. Without trust no relationship can thrive. Unfortunately people don’t always cherish trust the way that they should. Because it is often given freely at first it is also easily taken for granted. When trust has been damaged it can spell doom for a relationship and it can be very hard, if not impossible, to earn back.
Whether or not trust can ever be restored depends on how badly it was damaged and how much the spurned person feels betrayed. If you’ve had your trust betrayed then you know how hard it can be to let go, move on and fix the relationship. More often than not the burned person just wants to cut their losses and end the relationship, and who could blame them? But if you do want to repair the damage, if you want to salvage the relationship and rebuild trust, there are some steps you need to follow. While the person who damaged the trust has their work cut out for them in earning it back the person who was hurt also has a job to do. So how do you move past a major burn and put things back on track? It’s hard but it can be done and these three pointers can help.


Let your anger out.
In a quest to save a relationship people who have been hurt often bend over backwards to please their betrayer. Why? Because when we have been betrayed or burned the person who hurts us has sent a clear message that on some level we don’t matter to them as much as they matter to us. In a rebound state of fear of loss this often translates in to the hurt party trying to earn back the other person’s good opinion. It is a knee-jerk reaction and always ends in resentment. The best way to start the healing process is to acknowledge that there has been pain, betrayal and a loss of trust. Once the cards are on the table everybody will have a clearer picture of what they need to do to set things right.

Resolve to let it out and then let it go.
Once you let your feelings out you need to let the incident go. This does not mean blind forgiveness, but there is an element of forgiveness involved in this step. If the person who hurt you apologizes and you accept then you need to never rehash the incident. Doing so will only bring back your anger and keep you in emotional limbo. Don’t bring it up as a weapon. Don’t hold it over the other person every time you feel wronged in the future. Acknowledge that it happened, make your feelings and expectations known, and then stop focusing on what damaged the trust and set your sights on rebuilding. You’re only human, you may slip up and throw the incident in the face of your betrayer and if you do don’t beat yourself up over it, apologize and move on. While this step may seem like letting the person who hurt you get off easy in reality you are making things easier on your self by allowing yourself to be hurt and moving past it.

Know that things can never go back to the way they once were and keep your eyes wide open to future betrayals.
The sad reality is that once trust has been damaged it can’t simply go back to the way it once was, no matter how much both parties may want it to. People who do not value trust enough to respect it in the first place more often than not continue that pattern in the future. This doesn’t mean that it is a waste of time trying to rebuild trust it just means that the new trust has to be different. Call it a more mature trust. While trusting a person who has hurt you isn’t impossible it will never be the same kind of wide-eyed trust we give to people when we first let them in. This is not really a bad thing even though it may seem like a loss. Seeing people for who they really are rather than through rose-colored lenses can be a healthy thing. So when you decide to try to give trust a second chance just know that you will be more sensitive to the prospect of another betrayal and forgive yourself if doubt seeps in without real reason.

ARE WE COMPATIBLE???

Sure, a lot of times opposites attract - in a big way! The push and pull of differences can create friction, heat and a whole lot of excitement in many relationships. Some of these connections last - and many don't. But for the most part, when it comes to finding a long-term mate, the more you have in common, the less likely there is to be conflict.
Ah, but as humans, many of us find this really boring! Even still, no relationship is a cake walk. It won't be smooth sailing all the way, no matter how similar you are - so you might as well go for the fire.
However, part of finding and keeping a mate is accepting and getting past differences, and working on change when necessary. It's what you do share that will come to your rescue in challenging times. And that's why it's important to identify common ground in every love connection.
It's the age old questions of "how compatible are we?" Or: "what should I be looking for?" There are probably hundreds of answers to these questions, so we've narrowed it down to the top five main compatibility "musts" in a mate.

Social
How do you and your partner match up when it comes to socializing? Do you like to be with and meet new people? Do you talk to every person you possibly can at a party? Does spending time socializing energize you? It's fine if someone doesn't have quite the same passion for socializing as their partner, but if the difference is extreme - if one person needs to stay home to rest and regroup, while the other needs to go out or invite friends over multiple times a week to get their groove on - conflict may arise. You and your partner needn't do everything together, but for optimum happiness, it's best to pick a partner who has similar social desires.

Sexual
Of course, without sexual chemistry most couples would never get together in the first place! This initial attraction is the easy part, and the nuts and bolts of making it work in bed for the long run is a much more complex matter. It's good to gauge your compatibility in this arena by getting answers to these questions: Are you matched in terms of your preferences and expectations? For instance, are you more dominant or submissive, expressive or inhibited, experimental or conservative? Is there a balance? How much foreplay do you like to give and receive? Is there a shared commitment to monogamy, or is an open relationship acceptable? The answers will be different for everyone! But these can be some of the biggest deal-breakers in a relationship.

Financial
If you're planning on being with someone long-term, you'll want to know what their approach to money management is. To avoid unpleasant surprises, talk about it before taking any legally binding steps. How does each of you feel about credit? What's more important: spending or saving? Will you pool your money together, or operate separately? Do both parties expect to earn an income? If not, is one willing to - and capable of - supporting the other?

Spiritual
Spiritual compatibility encompasses values, beliefs and behaviors. Whether or not you are a deeply spiritual or religious person, compatibility (or absolute acceptance and discussion of differences) in this area should be addressed, because it could affect the long-term development of a relationship. Is a shared religion and faith an important qualification in a mate? Can you talk openly to each other about spiritual topics? Does your partner have an accepting, warm response regarding your religious traditions? Do you feel like you can support each other on your respective spiritual paths? Habits and habitatsThankfully, this is the area of compatibility that is often easiest to work through, but it can also be the source of much conflict. Is your partner up all night, while you're the "early to bed, early to rise" type? Things to consider include
1) Your level of organization, and tolerance for clutter.
2) Your living space preferences (big or small, style, décor).
3) Hobbies and pastimes.
4) Preferences for sports and exercise.
5) Vacationing versus staying at home.
6) Are cultural events, art, music and dancing valuable to you both?
7) What level of academic, political or religious involvement in the community is desirable to each of you?
8) What obligations to family, relatives or friends is required? But statistically, behind even money and the question of whether to have children, the biggest deal breaker in a relationship is:
9) Where do you see your life unfolding (in the city, suburbs or a rural area)?
In real life, liking "tomato" versus "tomahto" may not be reason enough to call the whole thing off. Some differences really don't matter that much. The ideal state exists when there is a healthy combination of similarities and differences, of give and take... with large doses of love and respect.

LESSONS OF FAILURE

Lesson 1: Acceptance
When things don't go your way, it's natural to feel sad and angry - but it's also important to realize that if you let your emotions taint your behavior, you'll likely strain your relationships with others. In the long run, this will only make matters worse, and increase your stress level. So accept the realities around you, and deal with the facts "on the ground." Only then will you be able to figure out what factors you do have the power to influence.

Lesson 2: Remember to laugh
Maintaining a sense of humor in the face of a "failure" will prevent adversity from damaging your self-esteem too deeply. All of our experiences contribute to the richness of our life stories - every single one of them. Being able to laugh - especially at your own imperfections - demonstrates wisdom and maturity. This isn't a license to be cavalier about the situation, but it will keep you from taking yourself so seriously that you ignore the take-home lessons.

Lesson 3: Get perspective
Most of us place great importance on material wealth, but having an abundance of "stuff" has never truly made anyone feel loved, fulfilled or happy. In fact, wealthy people are often at much higher risk of clinical depression! Unemployment sometimes prompts people to seek out volunteer opportunities, and in those circumstances many confess that working with people who are sick, abused or living far below the poverty line has shifted their values in a truly positive way. Likewise, layoffs sometimes inspire people to pursue entirely new career paths - regardless of the earning potential - simply to follow their dreams.
Maybe it's time to reevaluate your life's purpose: if your hours at work have been cut back, for instance, this could be a moment to cherish that extra time you have with friends and loved ones - and discover what really makes you happy. Perhaps it's the moment to blaze a new trail in your personal or professional life. Do something new that will help you gain a fresh perspective.
Destiny doesn't always conform to our schedule. As you set your goals, remind yourself that accomplishing what you set out to do may take longer than you'd prefer - and that's okay.


Lesson 4: Stay optimistic
If you lose hope, your spirit will suffer. There are bound to be dark days when you feel like your life is falling apart, but seek out ways to manage stress so that you can maintain a positive outlook. Re-examine all those factors you do control, once more: keep tabs on your diet and exercise regimen, and get plenty of vitamin D. Keep a journal. Do what it takes to keep the blues at bay!

Lesson 5: Find the silver lining
Getting at that bright side is especially important for those who are seeking work. Appreciate all the extra time you have to reorganize your house, get in shape, and spend time with friends and family. Figure out what the situation is telling you about yourself, so you can arm yourself for future challenges.

Lesson 6: Keep going
Adversity and hardships have been the catalyst for many notable achievements. Take the superstar children's author J.K. Rowling, for instance. Divorce had left her a penniless single parent, with no job - and no prospects. She survived on government assistance for years. At one point, she was on the verge of being homeless. Despite Rowling's lack of writing experience, she managed to produce the Harry Potter series - which has become one of the most successful children's literature franchises of all time. When asked about her success, Rowling admits that failure taught her things about herself she could not have learned any other way. There are many other luminaries who have hit rock bottom before becoming successful: Chris Gardner, John D. Rockefeller, Mark Wahlberg and Sean Combs are just a few examples.

FOR THE SINGLE LADIES!!!!

If a guy wants you, nothing can keep him away. If he doesn’t want you, nothing can make him stay. Stop making excuses for your guy and his behavior. Allow your intuition (or spirit) to save you from heartache. Stop trying to change yourself for a relationship that’s not meant to be. Never live your life for a guy before you find what makes you truly happy.

If a relationship ends because the guy wasn't treating you as you deserve then HELL NO, you can’t "be friends because a friend wouldn’t mistreat a friend. Don’t settle. If you feel like he is stringing you along,cos then he probably is. Don’t stay because you think "it will get better." You’ll be mad at yourself months later for staying when things are not better.The only person you can control in a relationship is you. Avoid guys who’ve got a bunch of children by a bunch of different women.

He didn’t marry them when he got them pregnant,Why would he treat you any differently? Always have your own set of friends separate from his.Maintain boundaries in how a guy treats you.If something bothers you, speak up.Never let a guy know everything. He will use it against you later. You cannot change a man’s behavior. Change comes from within.Don’t EVER make him feel he is more important than you are...even if he has more education or in a better job. Do not make him into a quasi-god.He is a guy, nothing more nothing less.Never let a guy define who you are.Never borrow someone else’s guy. Oh Lord! If he cheated with you, he’ll cheat on you.A guy will only treat you the way you allow him to treat you.All men are not dogs.

You should not be the one doing all the bending...compromise is a two-way street

PATIENCE IN LOVE

Connecting with another person is one of the most sacred, exciting and spiritually challenging experiences we will go through in this lifetime. Sometimes we are brought the perfect person to teach us exactly what it is that we need to learn about love.
Yet what many of us are challenged by is being patient when it's time to build a relationship. Most of us want to know right away what it will "be." However, rushing the physicality of your connection just creates insecurity, and insecurity is the opposite of intimacy, which is the key to any successful relationship.
Feeling safe is what allows people to move forward, and this feeling can only be built over time. Intimacy has a lot of different levels, and it isn't just about physical connection - though that is an important part. Taking the time to listen and learn about someone new in your life will allow a closeness that is based on respect, in every area, to manifest itself.
Related Articles

So try and enjoy this building of a new relationship as much as the physical aspect. Hormones and fantasies can justify your impulse to jump right into something, but it won't help you find the deeper (lasting!) connection that comes from taking it slowly. So take a deep breath. Be grateful for your initial chemistry. Now slow down your mind - and open your heart.

Trust, and trust more
One of the reasons people who sincerely want a relationship sometimes jump into bed too quickly is that they are afraid if they don't "seal the deal" and bond in the bedroom, they will lose that person's interest. If they can just show they are skilled between the sheets, it will "fix" anything that's askew.
But the truth is, most of us connect compatibility in bed with compatibility in life. If it were as easy as getting and giving good sex, why would any of us talk to each other at all? If you want a love that is built on the simple joy of spending time together, then you must make that the focus of the initial courtship period. If the connection is there, let it grow. Resist the urge to jump ahead. Everything ebbs and flows. You may feel it more on one date, and less on the next. Keep trusting, and accept the journey to evolve. Don't count dates. Don't analyze every word you say to each other. Trust that clarity will come at the exact right time. Wouldn't you rather spend a long time getting to know one person - and have it last - than have two or three more quick flings that leave you as alone as before?

Think evolution
There is a lot of advice out there about "playing hard to get." The sentiment is right, but the reasoning is often flawed. Making yourself artificially unavailable is like trying to get someone to drink a glass that's half-full. But having a full wonderful life that you slowly integrate a new person into is attractive. That's why your self-care is crucial to nurturing a relationship. Don't drop your life when you sense that your connection is growing. Yes, you might clear your Saturday nights, of course - but dropping plans with friends, giving up your fitness routine, or spending every night at your new love's apartment is just going to tell your new partner - "you are my whole life!" And that's a countdown to an ending - because the pressure becomes unbearable on them. Allow this next level of connection to evolve. Just because the connection is there doesn't mean it's time to change addresses, share finances, or adopt pets together! One day at a time... more will eventually be revealed.

No expectations!
Don't judge the speed of this relationship against anyone else's romances - or measure it by your own past relationships! If you surrender the fact that this is an utterly new relationship unlike any others, your path to love will be yours only - completely unique, and divine. You will relax into a profound freedom. There are only three outcomes to taking it slow:
1) it will grow into a deep and stable love,
2) you will lose interest,
3) the other party will lose interest.

If you lose interest, you'll realize it was a good thing you found out before you had a joint credit card with them.
If they lose interest, you'll have the clarity to look elsewhere. If it grows into a deep and stable love, it won't matter how long it takes.
Remember, while you're checking your watch and wondering, is this going to be what I want or not?, there is someone else in this story, and you have no idea what they are going through. They may still be emotionally letting go of someone else they had been seeing. They may be cleaning out old photographs that need to be gone from their home before you get invited over. Or they may just be giving their heart time to speak clearly.So, pull back the expectations and have fun. Because above everything, the pursuit of love can be full of joy, and you get to bring that light. So laugh, smile and relax.

Love has a way of arriving right on time.

GET A GRIP ON JEALOUSY

When love is mixed with fear it creates one of the most powerful emotions on earth: jealousy.

Here are three questions to ask yourself that will help you handle your jealousy and become a more loving, trusting person.

Why are you jealous?When you're trying to handle your own jealousy, the first thing to consider is why you're feeling jealous. Did something happen to cause your jealousy, or are you struggling with irrational emotions rather than a current situation? Do you have trust issues with your partner? Or are your jealous tendencies left over from a previous relationship? Maybe you have issues with trusting yourself that you are projecting onto the other person.If your partner did something that made you question their trustworthiness, address that situation specifically. Otherwise, take a look at the patterns in your life that have brought on your trust issues. Address those core concerns - and you'll be less likely to drag them into an otherwise-happy relationship.

How do you express jealousy?The next step is to question how you're communicating your feelings of jealousy with your partner. Do you quietly repress your feelings - but secretly let resentment grow in your heart? Do you throw accusations around and maybe threaten to leave? Maybe you break down in tears, and beg them not to leave you.It's important to use positive communication techniques to let your partner know when something hurts your feelings and makes you feel jealous. Pick a time when you can communicate in a calm, safe way, and use "I" statements such as "I feel jealous when you have lunch with your ex-girlfriend" or "I feel jealous when you chat with women online.

"What do you do with jealousy?The next step is to begin paying attention to what actions you're taking as a result of your jealous feelings. When you start feeling jealous, how do you react? Do you snoop through email and check the cell phone records? Maybe you throw a tantrum and throw out accusations about cheating?Whether you realize it or not, reacting to jealousy this way will only leave you with more fear and frustration. In a way, your goal is to find something incriminating, so in that sense you will only be "satisfied" if you find proof of infidelity. And your fear will drive them away, emotionally - which is the opposite of what you really wanted.Stop the cycle - the more you act out of jealousy, the more you create that vicious circle of fear and frustration. Of course it's important to pay attention if your partner is acting suspiciously, but at the end of the day your jealous behavior is not going to keep anyone from cheating - in some cases, it may even encourage it.If you truly want to let go of jealousy, you must also let go of the idea that you can control someone through love. Just as love is a risk, trust is a choice. Each time you decide not to snoop or pry, you make a choice to become a more loving, trusting partner.

Control Your Jealousy---5 tips to handle it

Anyone who has experienced jealousy knows well how intense and devouring it can be. In Othello, Shakespeare famously described it as "the green-eyed monster" because it can be both painful and embarrassing and because it has the power to make us do things that we know to be ridiculous and sometimes even crazy.

in romantic relationships, jealousy often occurs when one person suspects their union to be in jeopardy. Jealousy can be caused by a lover's job or even a hobby taking up too much time, but most often the cause is attributed to someone outside of the relationship - with the suspicion or fear that another person will take the beloved away

Don't hide feelings
The best method for getting a handle on jealousy is being honest and open about it - first with yourself, then with others involved (if appropriate). In love and friendship, it's important to use the "I feel" approach to communicate what you are experiencing. If you can express yourself in this gentle manner, your partner or friend is more likely to respond with honesty and sympathy. Together you may be able to work through and get rid of any jealous feelings. Talking about it also gives others some insight into how their behavior may impact you. Especially in a romantic relationship, your partner will then have the opportunity to change their behavior - or to reassure you in other ways. But even with logic, communication and reassurances, jelousy can continue to grow in your relationships at home, at work and between friends, leading to resentment, grudges, rivalry and insecurity.

Look at these painful examples
1) Say your partner flirts whenever you go to your favorite sports bar, yet you know they're just having some innocent fun. You just can't help it, you always end up going off and brooding by yourself instead of enjoying the game and the crowd and your partner's company.

2) You and your spouse are out with your best couple friends and they announce that they're having twins. You've been trying to have a baby secretly for awhile now, and you both know it's ridiculous and selfish, but you find it hard to be happy for your dearest friends.

3) You've been interviewing for a managerial position in your company, but the HR department decides to hire someone from the outside and they become your boss. You thought you were open to working for this person until you find out that they're making twice the salary that you're making. What can you do with your uncomfortable feelings? Try toughing it out with the constructive techniques below for dealing with those destructive "green-eyed" emotions

1) Keep building your self-esteem.
Part of good self-esteem is having a firm belief in your future working out. This won't shield you from jealousy, but it will help you find the fortitude to get through it

2) You may not be able to stop being jealous, but you can exercise some control over your emotions. When jealous thoughts associated with anger, fear, despair or anxiety strike, you can create an interruption in these negative thoughts by saying something like, "Stop! I know these thoughts are bad for me." Try replacing negative thoughts with positive ones. This may be enough to give you some temporary relief

3) Counterattack irrational thoughts with rational ones. When irrational thoughts arise tell yourself what you know to be rational - even if emotionally you don't believe it

4) Keep yourself busy with work, hobbies or self-improvement such as staying active, making plans with friends and just plain having fun. Distraction can provide enough comfort to help you get through some of your feelings, even if it isn't the total solution

5) Go ahead and vent. Seek the support of friends and loved ones, and tell them what you're going through. This will help relieve some of the hurt and anger

Remember, jealousy is a common human experience. Your experience of jealousy doesn't make you a bad or weak person - it is the result of a situation that will eventually be resolved. Just remember, all things must pass.

funny joke

Imperfections by Sign

Many people turn to Astrology in hopes of deciphering which Sun Sign
indicates the perfect mate for them. Fire signs are cherished for their
passion, while Earth signs are often sought out for their stability and
sensuality. You can't beat an Air sign if intellect and lots of energy
are your personal turn-ons, and if it's emotion you crave Water signs
are definitely the way to go
Each Sign of the Zodiac blesses those born under their watch with an infusion of characteristics and traits, but not every attribute is going to be perfectly charming. Every sign also has at least one annoying or undesirable trait. While these characteristics may serve us well in everyday life, they may also be amplified -or even cause problems - in our romantic relationships.

The truth is, it is highly unlikely that any one of us will ever find, or become, "the perfect mate." So, while no one is perfect, with a little effort we can learn to give those we love a little slack in these areas, and tone down some of our own bigger flaws as well, for the sake of our relationships

Leo may shine as brightly as the sun, but Lions sometimes need to accept that they aren't necessarily the center of the universe. Recognize that when your ego expands, it can do so with enough force to clear a room.

Virgo is the sign of those who can literally worry themselves to death. What they may not realize is that when they are stressed, their worries tend to be expressed as powerful, painful criticism. These gentle beings don't recognize their own strength. A little self-observation - and restraint - can hold off a tirade of belittling complaints.

Libra believes everything can be balanced, but during the process may tip the scales narcissistically in one direction. When it appears that your partner is becoming unreasonable or too demanding, it would be wise to look at the situation in terms of "we," rather than "me." Do this, and the balance you seek may accidentally appear!

Scorpio has a thing for being in control, which translates into being controlling. Whether you know it or not, you are the masters of silent manipulation. We all know you like to finish on top, but when it comes to relationships, ask yourself if you're just in it for the game. Or is it really your partner's heart you're trying to win?

Sagittarius needs to recognize that their eternal restlessness is a personal issue, not a relationship issue. Your partner loves your free spirit and your independence, but they also want to feel like a part of your life. If you want love to last, then accept that relationship responsibility doesn't have to equal restriction - but it must encompass partnership.

Capricorn may believe that they are always right (and most of the time, they are!), but they should be open to accepting that their partner has the right to disagree. If you are a more insecure Capricorn, you must also understand that dependence doesn't create love security.

Aquarius independence can be hard for others to understand - so explain it to them! While there is no shame in being proud of some of your more eccentric behaviors and expectations, your guarded nature in love can come across as extremely cold and aloof. Trusting people with your heart may not come easily, but not trusting is likely to be even more painful.

Pisces often confuse pity with caring, and have a way of defining themselves by the burdens they bear. There is such a thing as "too much drama!" When you lose yourself in the lower vibrations of depression, you drag those you love into despair with you. Sometimes, dear Pisces, the best thing you can do for yourself is to learn how to simply suck it up - or let it go.

Aries could stand to learn that not every thought that goes through their head needs to escape their mouths. These high-strung, spirited souls can break down their partner with acid words, not realizing the pain they cause in their quest to be the boss. Aries, be mindful that your partner is supposed to be by your side, not running to catch up - or carelessly left behind.

Taurus tends to be stubborn to the point of uncompromising. In relationships, it is possible for them to get so caught up in their own ideas, material needs, and judgments that they forget they have a partner at all. So come up for air once in a while, and look at all the love around you!

Gemini may think at the speed of light, but they often forget that others don't. As articulate as this sign can be, they often have trouble expressing themselves when it comes to their emotional needs. Unless you are with a mind reader, you must consider taking the risk and asking for what you need, and telling the other person what it is that you fear

Cancer can be crabby, and any Crab certainly knows how to hold a grudge. Some of these tender-hearted creatures would find life to be easier - and relationships more rewarding - if they would step back for a moment and grow a thicker skin. Lighten up! Forgiveness is much easier when you realize that those who love you aren't necessarily trying to hurt you.

Whatever your sign, both you and your mate will have some eccentricities. At the end of the day, you can both hide behind the sun sign excuse - or you can recognize that there is always opportunity to improve. If you can curb some of your quirks, your partner may follow your lead and do the same. You have nothing to lose - and you may have a whole lot to gain