Dana Plane crash 3-6-2012

Life is too short!!!
The rich pple on that plane didn't know it would be their last.
The sexy babes didn't know it was their last as they posed for pictures and paste it on their dp and Fb wall.
The ones who were fortunate to b boarding a plane for d first time in their lives didn't know it wuld b their first and d last time.
Where is that guy thinking of how to make ends meet?
Where is that babe who wants to get married soon?
Where are the singles who are worried about tying the knots?
Where are the men whose thought is on how to return to work today and sign dat contracts that would fetch them millions?
Where are those ones who owns houses in Abuja?
Where are those who took a girlfriend to Abuja to enjoy the weekend leaving their wives at home with d kids?
Where are those who were in Abuja for flings with their sugar daddies or sugar mommies?
And what about the innocent kids?
What about those in their homes on a Sunday afternoon after returning from church?
Spending time with their families, already ironed their clothes for today work or school?
What about that girl or boy who went to their neighbors house to watch films?
What about those people in the church that were bombed?
What I'm saying here is dis, It could have been you or me.
Life is vanity.
Live your today like there's no tomorrow.
Love, forgive and appreciate one another.

keeping in close contact with your ex! good or bad

my take is, if you are in a relationship, no big deal especially if your former relationship ended amicably, but if yu are married, then you have no business with an ex. whether you are both with the purest of hearts, it just called for. an ex is called an 'ex' for reason!

My take, yours???

Bayero University under attack in Kano.Christian Students gathered at the BUK theater and sports complex for worship bombed this morning

me thinks these christains should take it easy especially as they are in an
islamic state. Cos this looks like a case of trouble sleep inyanga go wake am.

That's my take....what's yours???

should married people avoid their single friends?

I really know why people say this but me feel its only 'runs' girls that would

 want to stay away from their single friends after marriage. This is because 

They know what they were doing to other married men with these friends so

they  wont want to suffer same in the friends hands.

This is my take, yours??

The Best Match for a Libra Female

A Libra lover is said to be the most compassionate, good-natured lover among all the zodiacs. They are very understanding and even try to put their feet in other people's shoes most of the time. Some see this as a very good trait and they should. But you also have to keep in mind that Librans are one of the air signs and air can mean being the flash and go type. They have the tendency not to focus on just one thing solely. Now, people may take a female Libra's affectionate nature to be flirtatious. One minute they are comforting someone, next thing you know she's with another person. The Libran, of course, doesn't think this. In her mind she is trying to help people feel good. They are just being gentle and comforting. A Libra is very understanding but being with one means you have to understand too. You have to know when she's being serious or being playful; or when she's being helpful or just being polite. Aquarius and Gemini are said to be the best zodiac match for a Libra but let's dissect all of the positive matches and see how they could work out.

Libra Woman and Taurus Man. Both sharing the love of art, poetry and culture, the Libra woman and Taurus man have a nice thing to begin with. Both signs are ruled by the planet Venus so they have a mutual desire for a romantic relationship. They are also likely to be in good handling money to support their luxurious desires. On the downside, Taurus is an Earth sign so they and the goals they have are generally practical whereas Libra is an air sign and depend on their intellectual expressions whether it be practical or not. The biggest thing that is a problem for these two is that a Taurus can be easily irritated by a Libra's impracticality and that the Taurus can be very stubborn. But they also hold the characteristics that will help them understand each other. A Taurus is a very strong and understanding character and can be supportive to his partner's ideas. A Libra on the other hand is always very diplomatic and polite and will listen and to reason.

Libra Woman and Gemini Man. For starters, the Libra woman and Gemini man has a lot of things in common. They both have a thirst for independence so they understand that their partners need their freedom. Romantically, a Libran can be in love with love and so is the Gemini. Expect the Libra to always woo her loved one and the Gemini partner to love this attention. The worst thing that could happen in this relationship is that the Libran's undomesticated nature will bring out the nagging and even childish side of the Gemini; even if the Gemini is a social butterfly himself. But the biggest thing that makes this relationship work is the fact that Gemini is ruled by the planet Mercury. It's a simple formula really; Venus represents love whereas Mercury is associated with communication so love + communication = a good lasting relationship.

Libra Woman and Leo Man. While the Libra woman is harmonious and peace-loving, a Leo man is the type who argues for the sake of argument. They love challenge and taking control. At worst there might be some verbal abuse in here but what makes a Libra-Leo relationship work? These two are both very warm people. They will be both understanding and have the energy to satisfy each other's physical needs. A Libran also possesses the ability to calm a Leo down as he is usually on fire. Also, the Leo is a natural born leader so he can make the indecisive Libra make decisions and act on it. These two have a lot of differences but these differences if used in the right way can surprisingly lead to a very harmonious relationship.

Libra Woman and Libra Man. The Libra woman and Libra man has everything in common. They both have the passion for arts, beauty, poetry and romance. They are both very social people; polite, diplomatic and understanding. This is a near perfect relationship but since they have the same good qualities they also have the same bad characteristics. Among other things, both will be very vain and would love the attention to themselves. The best thing to do here is to be diplomatic and understand that their needs are also their partner's needs.

Libra Woman and Sagittarius Man. Well these two are both social butterflies. They love to flirt although at times the Libra woman doesn't know that she is flirting. She just knows she's trying to be compassionate and giving. The Libra woman is an air sign and we all know that air makes the fire bigger. Now, even though the Sagittarius is not often associated with the word jealousy, a Libra's social and friendly nature can actually make the Sagittarius jealous. This may be because a Libra is a highly likeable person. Everyone loves hanging out with a Libra. Moneywise, this may be a sore spot in this relationship. A Sagittarius is the generous type and Librans are very indulgent and materialistic so do the math. On the plus side, both signs value their independence and understand each other's need for freedom. Also, the Libran's whirlwind ideas will captivate the always adventurous Sagittarius.

Libra Woman and Aquarius Man. Aside from Gemini, the Aquarius man is another near perfect match for a Libra woman. An Aquarius guy tends to have a very adventurous approach to romance (among other things) and this fascinates a romantic, female Libran. Both are very sociable and friendly. People tend to like Aquarians and Librans. Aquarians also try their best to be positive and the Libran will show them a different way of being positive. Remember, a Libra sees something good in everything. The Aquarius on the other hand will help the indecisive and passive Libran to stand on her own feet.

Libra Best and Worst Relationship Matches

Libra
Above all the rest your Libra lover is the most passionate, the most comforting and the most amiable of the sun signs. It is just in their nature. It is likely that you were the wall flower and they approached you at the party. They struck up a conversation because they sensed in you a discontentedness, or alienation. It was their gentle and comforting way that appealed so quickly to your heart and then they attacked your head. This is the general pattern of the Libran lovers, to reach out for the emotional aspects in people, and yet because of their almost insatiable thirst for knowledge, you won’t get out of a relationship with Libra before demonstrating an interest in more scholarly parts of the world.
But don’t get too deep with a Libra, since they are one of the air signs, their attention can wane and be spotty at best. They love to delve into hobbies like a flash in the pan, hot and quick. This incessant need for variety can be a real strength or an incredible weakness. Be aware of this tendency and make sure that you can see the warning signs in your Libra. When their eyes start to wander change the subject, there is no point trying to force the issue with a Libra, since even if they wanted to keep going their mind may be forcing them in different directions than they want to go in. Try and flow with their mind and their desires, it is often interesting and always exciting.
The Libran is always very intuitive. They know when you are lying and they know when you are trying to conceal some emotion or anger. It is always recommended to be honest with a lover that sits inside of the Libran sun sign, since they have a built in lie detector and are always on the look out for deception. This intuition means strong paternal/maternal instincts and a great deal of empathy. They are constantly making sure that you are ok, and that everyone around them is having fun. Don’t expect to be able to hold on to your Libra at a party and though they will be regularly looking for you and peppering you with affection, their more emotional empathic side drives them around.
*** Note: If you are on the hunt for a Libra man or woman, don’t force things with them. Though being swept of one’s feet is always attractive, the Libra may have so much on the go that it is important to integrate yourself into their world initially. Don’t let this stop your from romance and spontaneity, just recognize when and how.
Balance is very important to Libras. They even have trouble making more mundane decisions as a result of this borderline obsession with fairness. They love to gather all the relevant information about a general situation and then carefully sift through it to come up with a point of view that takes into consideration all the valuable components of each side. This is a great quality, but can sometimes lead to insanity in Libra’s partners as even dinner plans can be fraught with crisis level decision making stress.
***Note: Just make those little decisions for them. If you can’t decide between Chinese and Thai, just figure out which one you would rather, and then make it happen. Don’t mistake this indecision for a desire to have all of their life decided by others. On the contrary, it is a good lover’s job to help Libra overcome the ineffectualness that can sometimes arise as a result of this personality trait. Don’t let them lose out on opportunities because they are so concerned with making the right decision that they make no decision.
You may notice that for some Libras, this striving for balance results in a real aversion to conflict. Don’t worry about their feelings though, they are more worried about hurting yours. They would much prefer to work out arguments with dialogue, and will usually only be satisfied when both sides are shown and each part of the disagreement in resolved.
The most obvious warning regarding pursuing a relationship with a Libra can be found in precisely the same place that their greatest strengths lay. Many times Libra can be found mired in a very real and difficult “love triangle.” This means that their hearts are truly divided, and thought they can’t make up their mind as of yet, the air aspects of their sign means that when they do, it may be made coldly and with a detached calculation. This can lead to broken hearts and deeply hurt feelings and despite the intuitive knowledge that a Libra has of other people, their self preservation is made manifest through this emotionally removed decision making process.
Don’t run away, just keep yourself protected until your Libran lover makes a decision, and trust me the wait is worth the reward.
Best Relationship Matches

Aries Is your ideal mate despite being your zodiacal opposite. It’s a great evening out of the Venus and Mars’ different qualities: aggression and tenderness, leadership and acquiescence, practicality and creativity.
Gemini They are able to appreciate your understanding of their complex character, and you’re artistically harmonious.
Aquarius You both love people and beauty, although they’re a touch more unpredictable.

Worst Relationship Matches

Virgo Too fussy for you.
Scorpio Too dark for your warm, sunny outlook.

4 Ways To Be Heard Without Raising Your Voice

1. Time Out / Cool Off
If at all possible, walk away, take a deep breath and wait a little while before you engage in any further conversation. When we are angry, we are usually not at our best game, because emotions tend to distort our view of what is actually going on, versus what we have imagined in our head. Any extreme emotion will throw us off balance, while cooling down and stepping away from the issue at hand usually allows us to be more objective and detached from the message. Neutral is the way to be!
2. Analyze and Evaluate
If things are starting to get heated within a conversation, ask yourself why you’re getting all wound up. What triggers the person hitting? And what role are you playing in all of it? Once a conversation or argument turns into a fight over being right, or forcing another into seeing things your way, the battle is probably lost. Because now you have two egos going at it and ego has a way of catapulting us back into childhood; and acting like a child isn’t the most convincing or successful way of getting things done.
3. Listen
Sometimes it helps to listen to the other party, no matter how much you may disagree with them. Why? Because it allows you to at least attempt to understand where they are coming from and the best debaters are those who can put themselves into another person’s shoes. Also, people who listen tend to exuberate confidence and most people tend to respond to confidence, above all. Confident people are always taken more serious; screaming, ranting children, not so much.
4. Be Self-Aware
As often as possible, try to take a look at yourself through the eyes of another. If you’re getting into arguments a lot, if you have to assert yourself by raising your voice and if people have told you about it, chances are you are the one with the problem. Maybe take some anger management courses; go to yoga, learn how to meditate or how to center yourself somehow.
It comes down to the fact that no one will be taken seriously when they turn into a screaming fool. Raising your voice doesn’t resolve anything and it only turns people defensive, while it reflects badly on you and your obvious temper. Being an adult requires a certain amount of self-control if we ask to be taken seriously. If we cannot control our own emotions, we turn into bullies; namely a bully without a shred of credibility.
Screaming is just as effective as calling people names or cussing them out. Children behave that way, so if you want to become effective in your communication, learn how to talk in a calm and collected way, or walk away and come back when you are.

BONVOYAGE1000

hey peeps..its been a while yeah!! anyways your faithfully has been looking for how to make extra income.

and i have come across a new one which i like to call "the big one"

its called bonvoyage1000

i call it the big one cos firstly i earned my $1000 just 7 days after registering with $350 (can that ever happen anywhere else???)

some even got their $1,000 few hours after registering so i can safely call myself a "laggard"

anyways you too can earn the same...

here it is......

BonVoyage1000 offers a simple plan to give you.
“A new way to enjoy a lifestyle of luxury travel
while earning a great income from home...
or even from exotic locations around the world”
Thousands of people are doing it right now and you can, too!

.and you know whats more...i below to the megablast team

and what does the megablast team do?

The Bonvoyage1000 (or BV1000) Megablast Team is a group of network marketing leaders with over 40 years combined experience, willing and ready to leverage on each others strength to make good weekly income from the BV1000 platform.

As a group, we work based on a strategy called “next-in-line” partnership with interested people who want to join us in making money online.

Technically, the NIL strategy means that we will assist you to build a BV1000 network from which you can earn $1000 commissions as many as 4 times per month or more! Our record speaks for us as we have always delivered on our promises through the various networks we have built in the past 10 years.

So what are you waiting for;

www.bonvoyage1000.com/funchee

www.bonvoyage1000.com/blossie

www.bonvoyage1000.com/chinedum

www.bonvoyage1000.com/ibironke

and it goes on and on and on...you should be next. yes you! I want you to earn $1000 immediately.

so join the team guys, you know you want this $$$ yes you!

10 signs he is cheating----By Taryn Galewind

Do you have a feeling in your soul that something isn’t quite right with your significant other? Pay attention to your instincts – your inner voices are usually right.
No woman wants to believe that her man is cheating, but it can and does happen. We all know that. Here are ten surprising tells that may indicate all is not what it seems:
1. It’s lovely to have his undivided attention. Who wouldn’t want a dozen roses for no reason at all? Some guys are great at attending to your needs, but if your partner has typically been a bit casual and suddenly showers you with goodies, think twice. Could be guilt driving that romance.
2. Variety is the spice of everything, but if his routine changes, his habits alter, he takes a new interest in his appearance, or just seems bright and new, it could be a problem. The excitement of illicit love makes men sit up and sparkle.
3. His cell phone disappears and his computer is now password protected. All his known passwords are changed for “security” reasons. Not good.
4. In a slow economy, everyone can use a bit of additional cash, but is your mate putting in a lot of overtime? If it isn’t typical, better keep an eye on it.
5. Be aware of unexplained telephone charges, lots of calls to a new number, or frequent hang up calls.
6. There might be lipstick on his collar, but finding an odd glove, someone else’s clothing item or an earring is more likely. You might find a cigarette end, and he doesn’t smoke. If odd things turn up, he may be doing something he shouldn’t.
7. He’s so overly sensitive that you can’t say “good morning” without creating an argument. He’s the poster child for surly. “Moody” doesn’t begin to do him justice, and you can’t say or do anything right. Unless he’s fighting depression, you might want to keep a close eye on your relationship.
8. He’s simply never available. Tired. Busy. Preoccupied. Has to go see his mother more often than he sees you?
9. Now he can’t stand your friends. His friends observe he’s lost interest in nights out. He skips the hottest game on TV because he’d rather go for a run? Wait a minute, dear, you’d better find out where he’s running to.
10. What? Your hot-as-flame sex life has simmered to a boring routine? Uh oh.
Should you hire an investigator, search the car, rifle through his wallet? I’m not saying any man whose interests change or who begins to focus on being healthy and fit is cheating. It’s likely he’s still the light of your life and only has eyes for you. However, if you keep running into odd coincidences and your radar tells you something is rotten, trust your gut and check it out.

5 reasons he may take you back-By Alina Mikos

Just because men are generally less verbal about their feelings than women doesn’t mean they don’t feel just as deeply. If you’ve hurt him by cheating, you’ve got to be prepared that he may never take you back. As your actions have broken his trust, it will be up to him – and his capacity to forgive – as to whether or not you two ever get back together. Some people just cannot reopen their hearts after a deceit. With men, when a woman cheats, it not only betrays his trust, but challenges his confidence and manhood. At best, you will probably need to “eat crow” before he’ll let you into his heart again. Let’s look at a few reasons he may decide to give your relationship another shot.
1. His Great Love for You
If the two of you had something really special that you’ve both put a lot of time and love into, he may consider forgiving you and moving on. Each person in every relationship makes mistakes – it’s deciding whether your love and relationship is stronger and more important than the mistakes that keep two people together. He may conclude that he loves you in spite of this and agree to move forward. Once. If you’re a repeat offender and he keeps taking you back, the two of you are in an unhealthy and destructive relationship and need to admit to the fact that you are not good for one another.
2. Your Genuine Remorse
Was it a mistake? Do you feel awful and repentant about it? Communicating this to him will go a long way towards healing the rift you’ve caused. If you are disingenuous, he will most likely sense this and turn his back on you for good. But by being sorry and regretful, you open up the possibility of him forgiving you after he has taken time to lick his wounds and think things over. If he senses that you are purposefully careless with his trust and his heart, don’t expect any second chances in this millennia.
3. The Circumstance
The weight of the blow of infidelity may be slightly diminished depending upon the circumstances. A man may forgive a severe slip-up of this nature if he’s certain she was, say, “completely drunk and toasted.” The “it just happened” scenario plays out better than the premeditated affair that went on for months. Your reason and explanation for the affair can affect the outcome of his decision as well. If you were looking for companionship, for example, and he had been away frequently, he may be open-minded enough to try couples counseling to resolve your relationship issues. The same may go for cheating related to your sex lives. If the two of you haven’t been intimate in awhile, he may agree to sex therapy in an attempt to fix things.
4. He Can Forgive and Move On
The capacity for forgiveness varies from person to person, and is often contingent upon the offense. Breaking someone’s trust is one of the bigger blunders a person can make in any relationship, and the reality is that they may not get over it. If you are so lucky as to have found a guy who can forgive and forget, then you may count your many blessings. If he knows himself and has come to terms with the event and his feelings, then he may be able to move beyond your indiscretion. But he has to make that decision, and you cannot make it for him, no matter how much you may beg or apologize. He’ll know whether this is something he can make peace with or not.
5. He Can See That You’ve Changed
If you can prove to him that you are not the person you were that made the decision to betray his trust in that way, he may decide to open up to you again. He has to believe this, so you will have to prove it to him in your own way. He needs to feel secure in the fact that this will never happen again, and convincing him that you are a better, more mature person, will go a long way towards him trusting you again with his heart

stop deceiving urself

Dump That Loser!
Why are we holding on to people who obviously don’t do us any good? Why do we feel that knowing someone for a long period of time, or being in a relationship with someone, binds us to hold on to them for dear life, even when they are detrimental to our own well-being and self-worth? Somehow most of us seem to believe that we can’t do any better, or worse, don’t deserve any better.
Breaking the cycle of self-defeat and misery is hard to do but not impossible. So here are a few points that should help you make a decision to finally let the tool canoe sail away and start a new life, tool-free and happy.
1. Dishonesty
It seems obvious that we shouldn’t spend time and space with people who lie to us. But dishonesty comes in many different forms and there are not all blatant lies. Another form of dishonesty is withholding; which, by the way, equals going behind your back. Some people argue they did it to “protect you.” Well, dishonesty never protects anyone and a partner or friend who cannot be straight with you is not worth holding on. Obviously, there are different levels of severity here. But a person who consistently chooses to lie or withhold from you is plain and simple engaging in tool-sheddery, not protecting you!
2. Abusive
Most people don’t seem to understand that abuse does not necessarily only consist of physical violence. Abuse comes in many shapes or forms. Let me make it clear to you: any deliberate attack on your being is abuse! This includes people who love to embarrass you in front of others with demeaning remarks, which they then disguise as “humor,” attacking you for being too sensitive. Abuse is always about power, so if you ever wonder if something is abuse or not, consider the following: Is the goal of a person’s actions or words to put you down/dismiss you/hurt you or dominate you, in order for them to feel better about themselves, look good in front of others, or feel in control? If the answer is “yes,” it’s time to run.
3. Disloyal
Anyone who claims to be your true friend or partner will have your back in life! This is what distinguishes them from merely being an acquaintance. Loyalty does not mean that one has to agree with you all the time (this is where number one comes in again!), but it does mean standing by you in good and bad times. This includes certain rules such as not sleeping with your ex and not playing both sides, i.e. hanging out and engaging with those who have hurt you deeply. A person who loves you will stand up for you. They’ll help you fight your battles when you need help fighting them, and they won’t allow anyone to badmouth you or harm you, present or not! Disloyal people should always be eliminated from one’s life, because they cannot be true partners or friends. Why? Because they are not trustworthy, and their own self-interest will always win out over doing the right thing, or the minor detail of being your friend!
4. No Integrity
Integrity incorporates much more than being honest and loyal, because it’s about consistent actions, morals, values, principles and expectations. Integrity is the very opposite of hypocrisy, and a true virtue. Integrity is the most important trait within a human being, and anyone who does not have this trait should be avoided.
5. Self-Centered
Not all selfish people act in ways that make them appear selfish at first glance. Hence, I’m not going to mention the obvious signs, but the hidden ones. Being self-centered includes anything and everything done for one’s own gain, advantage or pleasure, without any consideration for another. It’s as simple as that. An example would be someone who consistently puts your wishes aside to do something they want to do, regardless of how it makes you feel. I’m going to add an extreme example. My ex stood me up the day after I got released from the ER, claiming he had fallen asleep after work, when in fact he was at home all night playing World of Warcraft.
Obviously, there’s a common denominator here. Most people who refuse to let go of those who no longer serve them, or who harm them, seem to believe that they can’t do any better, or deserve no better. Anyone with true self-respect and self-esteem would not engage, and keep spending time and space with those who don’t deserve it. So if you’re one of those who finds himself/herself surrounded by insensitive pricks, selfish, rude and spineless jerks, or cheating and lying partners, it’s time to re-evaluate your life and re-discover your own self-worth.
You do deserve better, and you are no less or more important than those who keep disrespecting, ignoring and abusing you. Time does not equal ownership or entitlement. You don’t owe love, friendship, kindness or favors to anyone, just because you’ve known them for a while. Any partnership and friendship takes two to tango. You cannot succeed in creating lasting and intimate bonds with those who are neither capable, nor interested in the same. Everyone makes mistakes and everyone messes up, but the aforementioned points need to be taken seriously, if they are showing up consistently! There’s a difference between a one-time slip and a behavioral pattern. So if you want to live a tool-free life, go ahead and dump that loser. Trust me, there is better and healthier out there for you

Welcome to Linda Ikeji's Blog: Ever wondered what Tuface and DBanj will look like...

Welcome to Linda Ikeji's Blog: Ever wondered what Tuface and DBanj will look like...: "Ha ha ha! D'Banj is still one hell of a sexy old man... Photo source"

FIVE THINGS MEN OVERLOOK

Relationships are full of compromises—some of which you hash out together as a couple, and some that you make separately as personal compromises regarding your individual needs in the relationship. Let’s consider, for a moment, some personal compromises that men make regarding women that you’ll never hear them talking about, but which they do just the same.

1. Big Ego for Beauty

This may be the most stereotypical compromise a man makes for a woman. Men are incredibly visual creatures, and as such are likely to be susceptible to a beautiful woman, no matter what her flaws. Many beautiful people know that they are beautiful—a good many of those, unfortunately, have developed large egos in accordance with their appearance. You might think that a woman who believes she is superior because of her looks, or primps constantly, would put most men off. However, there are plenty of men that are so enamored with her appearance and how she looks on his arm that they overlook the negative behaviors and disagreeable disposition that accompanies an over-inflated feminine ego.

2. Domineering Personality for a Strong Woman

As a woman’s role in American society has changed over the past century, men have learned to respect, and even prefer in most cases, a strong independent woman who knows how to take care of herself and speaks her mind. Gone are most of the men who like a gentle, soft woman who need a big strong man to protect and take care of her. Today’s couple relationships are often described as equal partnerships, with the man and woman divvying up household chores, bills and responsibilities. Certain women have taken this strong/independent woman thing further, and need to be fully in charge at every possible moment. Telling her mate what he needs to do and when to do it gets old for any man, but he may be willing to tolerate some of this behavior if the tradeoff is having a strong woman beside him to share equally in all the responsibilities and struggles that traditionally fell upon male shoulders.

3. Bad Tempers for Great Sex

Temper tantrums and hot-headedness usually go hand-in-hand with a female afflicted with a short fuse, but it seems that many men are willing to overlook this if these women also channel that emotional heat into the bedroom. She may have a spiteful tongue that he’ll dislike during those unavoidable couple-arguments, but a “hot woman” in the bedroom is worth these tongue-lashings to many men.

4. Body Insecurities for Passion

It is a known fact that women are rarely perfectly happy with their bodies, and can be self-conscious and nit-picky. Body shyness and insecurities can easily transfer into the bedroom, where all the clothes come off for your mate to see and evaluate. Men are, in general, less picky about the little details of a woman’s less-than-perfect body (and less critical), and more interested in how responsive she is in bed. Enjoying the moment and all that your partner has to offer makes the best kind of lover; and if you can shuck those pesky insecurities for quality bedroom time, he’ll be less likely to mind your self-consciousness (and may even find it quirky) at other times.

5. Intrusiveness for Emotional Support

In general, it is believed that women are more in touch with their feelings, and therefore feel freer to speak of them, as well as delve into their mate’s feelings. As men tend to find it more difficult to admit to emotional weaknesses and needs, it often falls to the women to ask questions, pry, cajole- whatever it takes to get him talking. Intrusiveness, at first glance, does not seem a positive trait, but your man may be a tough emotional nut to crack, and through sensitive and targeted questioning, you can persuade him to open up when he really needs the release. While he may find this tactic initially annoying, he will appreciate your emotional support in getting him to express himself, and any words of comfort and wisdom you can offer will be received in the spirit that they are given.

7 Ways to Train Your Mate

What are the best ways to positively influence your mate, without recourse to manipulation? Try these top seven methods for positive reinforcement:

1. R-E-S-P-E-C-T

People respect those who respect them, so by maintaining a mutual respect in your relationship, you will ensure your requests will always be handled with understanding, caring, and sincerity.

2. Listen

Too often when we are trying to get our mate to change, we focus primarily on what we need from them, rather than what they need from us. By listening to your partner and understanding where they are coming from, you will better understand what will motivate them to want to change for you. With practice, you will also be able to pickup on non-verbal cues, in effect, listening for what is not being said. To often requests go ignored, simply because one partner forgot to listen before asking!

3. Do Me, and I’ll Do You

The power of reciprocation is regularly used in the business world, but it can also be used in romantic relationships. It is much easier to get a mate to work on improving when they know they will be getting something in return. This takes the heat off of just them, and makes the solution become a team effort. The power of reciprocation can also be seen when explaining to your mate the advantage of making the change. For instance, to a partner balking at the idea of making dinner in the evening, explain to them that if they share in the chore, they’ll be able to make the types of food they most enjoy eating, etc.

4. Timing

Timing is so important when we have to talk about a behavioral problem we are having with our mate. Often, we are driven to talk about these things as they happen, but that is not always the best time to start a serious heart to heart. Wait until both you and your partner are in a neutral, stress free mood, place yourself in a position of minimal threat (side to side, rather than face to face), and openly express your feelings how you’d like to see things change. Use the word “I” as an opener to your conversation (“I feel like…”) rather than “you” (“You always…”).

5. Stay on Subject

Too often when attempting to explain a problem to a mate, we end up going off on a tangent about other things until we come around to the part we actually wanted to talk about. We may think that we are buttering them up for the punchline, but we often just lose their attention and patience. If you really want to talk to your mate about an important request, stay on subject, be direct (short), and use clear, concise sentences.

6. Hush Approach

On occasion, we will listen to advice coming from various sources more than our own mate. It does not mean that we don’t respect their ideas, but some ideas have more credibility when they seem to be coming from several outside sources. For instance, if you are looking to get your mate to quit smoking, rather than hounding them about how bad it is for them, casually offer them tidbits of information in the form of articles or newsletters. This takes the bite from your own words, and puts it into the mouth of another.

7. Hate to Manipulate

I’ve mentioned this already, but it bares enough importance to repeat. Manipulation tactics, such as bribing, dictating, and offering a combination of reward and punishment may work with (some) animals, but the human intellect is much more capable of resentment once it realizes it’s being taken advantage of. A partner does not want to be forced into doing what you think is right, but rather figure out what is right for themselves. You can guide your mate to the land of Oompa Loompa, but you can’t make them do the funny dance unless they want to!

TOP TEN DATING MYTHS

Dating and the human brain offer such a complex array of idiosyncrasies that it’s sometimes difficult to distinguish truth from myth. Thankfully, we always have research to turn to when trying to solve the complex puzzle of the human brain. Let’s look at the top ten dating myths that have been (at least somewhat) debunked by science.

Myth 1: Bedroom Talk

There’s a lot of talk about lying in relationships, and many relationship experts claim that one of the best places to quietly discuss matters with a new lover is in the privacy of one’s bedroom. What research has found, however, is that the bedroom is actually where the greatest number of lies are told. If you want to find out what somebody is really thinking, studies show that talking around the breakfast table is the closest you’ll ever come to a truth serum.

Myth 2: Girls Are Crazy About Sensitive Men

There is a movement suggesting that what really drives women crazy is sensitive men. While women may believe that sensitive men are great, studies show that what initially catches their eye is rugged, masculine looks (square jaw, large nose, etc.) and a carefree attitude. The only time a sensitive guy (small chin, raised eyebrows, caring) might have the upper hand is when a woman is looking for a marriage partner – but too much sensitivity (being a pushover, indecisiveness) can count against him.

Myth 3: No Such Thing as Being Too Picky

If you don’t mind the possibility of keeping your own company for the duration of your life, then this may indeed be true. Otherwise, you are living in the popular myth that there is a perfect person out there for each of us. There is a very fine line between being picky and compromising the reality of your relationships. Popular research suggests that we can be perfectly happy with only 80 percent of our needs met.

Myth 4: Doesn’t Matter What They Say, I’m the Only One Who Knows

When we are newly in love or infatuation, our brains are usually so clouded with morphine-like chemicals that it’s hard to see any bad in the world, much less the bad in our new love. Usually, the people who can see the situation clearly are our friends and family, so while you may think you know better than they do, it is certainly at least worth listening to their concerns.

Myth 5: Living Together Irons Out the Wrinkles

It’s common belief that living together prior to marriage helps couples iron out the small wrinkles of joint living, but what research has found is that it actually increases your chances of divorce. Couples who choose to live together are, one, slightly hesitant about the union, and two, comfortable in the fact that if it doesn’t work out they can move on. This is the wrong mindset for a long and happy marriage.

Myth 6: Third Time’s the Charm

A lot of multiple-divorce couples like to chant “Third time’s the charm” when getting married for their third, and hopefully last, time. They feel comforted by this phrase, as does their partner in cahoots. The truth of the matter is, however, that a second marriage has a 60 to 67 percent chance of failure, while a third marriage has a dismal 73 to 75 percent chance. Don’t kid yourself.

Myth 7: Pickup Lines Never Work

Research shows that humorous and complimentary pickup lines work on some men and women if delivered with honesty, creativity and sincerity.

Myth 8: Impossible to Love Two People At Once

If an individual falls for two people who possess two very opposing, yet complimentary personalities, together they may add up to the ultimate partner. This is why it’s easier than some people think to fall in love with two people.

Myth 9: All Men are Cheaters

There is research out there stating that men are the bigger cheaters, and that it is also easy to find research pointing to men and women as cheating fairly equally, as well as evidence concluding that women are the bigger cheaters. If there is anything we can conclude from this, it’s that it is the person who cheats, and not the gender, so we should look at the individual and the signs they give (male or female) in order to decipher their potential as a mate.

Myth 10: Cold Shower

Some people believe that after a particularly heated date that ends without a bang, it’s a good idea to relieve any pent up, lingering sexual energy by taking a cold shower. What research has found, however, is cold showers actually stimulate the production of hormones and sexual desire, thereby producing the opposite effect of what one would hope.

CELINE DION GIVES BIRTH TO TWIN BOYS

Celine Dion has given birth to twin boys, finally realizing her dream of being a mother again after a long struggle to become pregnant.

A statement released by St. Mary's Medical Center in West Palm Beach, Fla., said that the 42-year-old superstar singer delivered the boys Saturday afternoon. One boy weighed 5 pounds, 10 ounces, while the other weighed 5 pounds, 4 ounces. No names have been announced.

Dion and her husband-manager, Rene Angelil, are already the parents of one son, 9-year-old Rene Charles. But Dion had long wanted to have more children, and, like with her first child, she had difficulty becoming pregnant. She has spoken openly about her struggles, undergoing several rounds of in-vitro fertilization.

Last year, after information leaked that she was pregnant, she confirmed the news, only to learn that the in vitro procedure was not successful. She had to issue a reversal weeks later.

In an interview earlier this year, Dion said she hoped that by publicly sharing her struggle, she could help others.

"If I help people through my voice, through my interviews, through what I go through, I do not want to change that at all," she said. "I think it's making a difference."

The boys came a month early. Dion was due to deliver next month, but earlier this week, it was announced that she was hospitalized as a precaution to make sure she was near her doctors as she prepared to give birth.

Dion, a five-time Grammy winner who has sold tens of millions of albums, announced earlier this year that she would be returning to Las Vegas for a three-year run at Caesar's Palace. She had a hugely successful five-year run in Las Vegas that ended in 2007.

20 things all men should know...

1. Persistence is Flattering… Then it becomes annoying, and finally, downright creepy. Men don’t like to be considered quitters, but sometimes we’ve got no other option.

2. Women’s Lib Does Not Include Going Dutch. Most women still appreciate a guy to pick up the check. If she insists on paying half, let her, otherwise you’ll risk appearing inflexible, chauvinistic, and disagreeable.

3. Women Love a Man Who Talks About His Family. It means he is close to them and cares about them, and even more importantly, it means he might one day be into having one of his own. But don’t take this as an invitation to be a mama’s boy!

4. Women Love a Man With a Plan… One who is not afraid to hold a baby, and one who can pull off wearing a clean white t-shirt.

5. Don’t Push Her Off of the Porn Train. Some women don’t like pornography, some do, and some feel left out (cheated on) because he hides it from her like some sort of dirty secret. Sometimes sharing is the best policy.

6. If She Cuts the Night Short… She might really need to cut something else. Men and women are both human after all, so if she calls the night short, don’t just assume she doesn’t want you to call again. Sometimes emergencies do come up.

7. Women Don’t Want Us to Solve All Their Problems… Sometimes they just want us to listen, repeat and understand!

8. If She Cheats, You Deserved It (In Her Mind). Cheating is shaky ground for any relationship, but research shows that women who cheat do so as a direct result of feeling unloved, unappreciated and entitled to happiness. Now you know, and now you know how to do something about it.

9. Squeezing Her Breasts is Not Foreplay. Most women prefer a touch and gentle caress.

10. Women Have Hair in Strange Places. If your girl doesn’t have any of the signs of being a disciple of Bigfoot, appreciate the time she has spent to get rid of it.

11. She Knows You’re Lying. Women have the uncanny ability to read people, according to some research, which comes from the motherly necessity to read her baby’s needs by looking at facial expressions and vocal patterns. Women know when we’re lying, so why bother?

12. When She is Feeling Down and Irritable… Give her a big hug, rather than busting her hump for being grumpy. This is an instant invitation to her good side (assuming you didn’t cause the bad feelings in the first place).

13. Thank You Goes a Long Way. Studies suggest that in lopsided relationships, the overworked partner will remain satisfied as long as the other partner remembers to say “Thank you.” This isn’t about telling you how to take advantage of her, but rather about appreciating her for everything she does.

14. Women Still Like… Being asked on a proper date. Don’t get lazy in today’s age of information technology. Sometimes the best way to do things is the old fashioned way!

15. A Woman’s Breasts Swell Up to 25% During Good Sex. This is her body’s way of seducing/attracting/urging the man to finish with a finale… so don’t disappoint her. Interestingly, some research also suggests the smaller the breasts, the more dramatic the size increase will be.

16. Don’t Mention PMS… Unless asking to buy her pads at the store. Don’t use her biology to explain her bad mood. This is just simple common courtesy.

17. Women Prefer Macho to Date and Sensitive to Marry. Men can actually dictate the types of women they attract by how much they express their masculine side vs. their sensitive. Who knew that dodging commitment could be so easy!

18. Women Like Spontaneity. Whisking her away on a weekend trip on short notice is spontaneous. Showing up fifteen minutes late and asking “So, what do you want to do now?” is not!

19. She is Less Excited About Receiving Lingerie Than You Are About Giving It. They say that women love shiny things, but when it comes to glimmering showgirl costumes, not all are as excited to climb aboard your fantasy train.

20. Cleaning and Doing the Dishes… Is one of the sexiest things you can do to get her in the mood. Try it. I swear, I’m not being paid to tell you this stuff!

why do women cheat????

Asking why women cheat is a pretty good question, but perhaps an even better question is: Why are men usually the last to know? Many psychologists believe that it has something to do with the fact that he doesn’t want to believe his partner is capable of cheating, and that she is right there along with him. Some women are more likely to bottle up their emotions when there’s a serious problem in their relationship, and many men don’t know how to read between the lines.

One of the best ways for a guy to know if his relationship is on dangerous ground, is to know the reasons that women cheat in the first place. Keep in mind that these reasons are not meant to offer justification for what she may (or may not) be doing, but rather to help explain the motion of the cog wheels turning in her head. The best way to avoid a cheating spouse, is to understand where they’re coming from.

1. Revenge

This one is obvious, but reminds us that we are all human. Some women have been known to justify an affair, out of the simple reason that her partner was unfaithful to her. Revenge does not always describe a situation of infidelity, however, as in some cases, the revenge is focused on his inability to make her happy. In a sense she’s getting revenge for his failure to uphold his promise to love, honor (admire), and obey her.

2. Thrill

Studies suggest that over 50 percent of men who cheat, do so despite being in relatively happy relationships. For women, however, only 36 percent will cheat when they are happy. While some women are indeed attracted to the thrill of the catch, even more commonly, it is because they are unhappy with their partner.

3. Entitlement

We all feel some degree of entitlement in life. We feel entitled to respect, love, and a relatively happy life. When we assume these needs are being sabotaged by a partner, it may be natural to take action to overcome their negative influence. This is the belief of Shapiro Barash, a gender studies professor at Marymount Manhattan College, who believes women justify cheating when they believe their partner is the main source of their unhappiness.

In other words, women feel entitled to be happy, and if they must cheat to achieve this, then it’s his fault for not taking care of business. Out of 120 cheaters interviewed by Barash, 90 percent claimed that they were in the right, and felt little to no guilt for their actions. Some psychologists suggest that women rarely stumble upon affairs by accident, but rather give them careful thought, justify them, and then act upon them with carefully planned diligence.

This could be one factor why statistics indicate that female cheaters are less common than men. According to the University of Washington, 15 percent of women cheat, compared to 20 percent of men. Perhaps they are just better at avoiding being caught. Another possible factor is that cheating is much less socially acceptable for women, so during these types of surveys, women may not always tell the truth.

4. Biology

Researcher, Satoshi Kanazawa, suggests the idea of cheating may not be so much a contemplated action, but rather a root of evolutionary adaptation. He has outlined this belief among several interpretations of the biological development of human beings, such as the fact than men are larger than women, suggesting we lived within polygamous (one man, several wives/partners) societies at one time, similar to the gorilla.

In these primate societies, the women are often promiscuous, especially when the male species has developed larger testes and a sexual organ shaped like a scoop. The larger testes theoretically deposit a greater number of sperm to overcome competing suitors, while his scoop-shaped organ was adapted over time to remove competing sperm before depositing his own.

Kanazawa suggests that while men may have needed polygamous relationships to survive, that is no longer the case. Men prosper best in modern society within a single family, monogamous environment. They have slowly adapted to this. Women, on the other hand, continue to have the same partnership with one male, suggesting that her lineage has needed to adapt very little. Kanazawa uses this to suggest women may not value sexual exclusivity as much as man, and therefore continue to be promiscuous.

5. Release

Another explanation for why women cheat is that they are at the end of their rope, and looking for a way out. Sometimes the thought of calling off a partnership can seem like a daunting step, especially if she is reliant on him in some way. In this case, some women choose to test the waters. If she finds a new source of support and security, she may become slightly more careless in expectation of getting caught, using the affair as a catalyst to quickly dissolve her current relationship.

Statistics show that over 50 percent of cheating wives conclude their marriages with divorce, which many psychologists speculate is exactly what they wanted. Psychologists also make the assumption that the other part of this equation is the inability of society (and the husband) to forgive a cheating wife. The old “boys will be boys” excuse does not work for women, although this is slowly changing.

In short, women cheat because they are emotional beings with needs, desires, temptations and faults. Any man who ignores these truths, is also capable of ignoring her cries for help, which if left unheard, can result in the demise of a perfectly salvageable relationship.

What do you think – what are the top reasons why women cheat?

5 signs that he is not the one...

1. You can’t trust him. Trust is the cornerstone of any relationship, and without it, there is no relationship to be had. The concept of trust permeates every facet of any partnership with two people, most significantly in romantic ones.

Trust can cover many types of behavior, including doing what he says he’s going to do, keeping promises, showing up, and following through. These are all important actions in the dating dynamic. In a galaxy far away, I dated a guy who was always shifty and vague when we made plans. This made me not trust him, and as it later turned out, he was validating my fears with his infidelity. In a word… next!

2. He brings out the worst in you. Any man who seems to thrive on conflict or discord within your relationship is bad news. If he’s anything less than compassionate and supportive, chances are he’s not into the relationship for anything other than drama. The point of a romantic relationship is to love, support and nurture each other. (Contrary to what reality shows might tell you, they’re not about drama, hurt feelings, conspiracy plots, or psychologist bills.)

Life is too short to deny yourself the love and support you deserve. Again, if this is happening, move on!

3. You have no shared interests outside the bedroom. Ah yes, the thrill of exploring the sexual landscape in a new relationship is exciting and fun, but it’s important to cultivate interests outside of sex. If there are no shared interests, that could be telling. Without common interests and goals, the relationship will become one-dimensional (which leads to “stifling,” which leads to “it’s over”). If he’s only interested in the physical part of your relationship, you have to look at that closely. Chances are that you’re limiting your own range of experiences, and you can do so much better, girlfriend.

4. You have to make excuses for his behavior. If he’s saying or doing things that make you uncomfortable, he’s definitely telling you something about himself and his character. Different people have different ideals and comfort levels; one person’s “acceptable” can be another’s “unacceptable.” If your man is behaving in ways you find unacceptable and putting you in an uncomfy place, look at that. As Grandma Ellie used to say, “Actions tell the tale” – and, honey, they do.

What are his actions telling you? If they’re anything less than supportive, ethical, fair and fabulous, move on!

5. He’s not available. Do you notice that personal ads never advertise: “Cold, unfeeling bastard seeking doormat girlfriend to annoy?” They don’t, because everyone who says they’re out to find a relationship is out to have a relationship, right? Not necessarily, my fair sisters. Sometimes the unavailable come dressed up as available, reasonable, sane men and try to drive us insane with their inconsistencies. Don’t let it happen to you. Again, listen to the words he’s saying and cross reference with what he’s doing. Is he pining for you all day only to avoid your calls that evening? If the actions and words are out of whack, you have to take a good, honest look. Does he say he’s ready for a relationship only to do and say things that alienate you?

Be fearless! Know that if “he” isn’t the One, the Universe will provide. Trust and believe: you’re hearing this from a gal who’s been there. I know from my own experience that letting go of the game-playing boys-disguised-as-men freed my time, and I found the One. I wish you the same happiness and success!